October 31, 2006

BONUS GHOST COUNTDOWN!

As a Halloween super bonus for all of you secret fun folks, here's the extra special 2006 ghost countdown of all the internet!...

Rank: #11
Description: Halloween Party Puppet
Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Cause of Death: Played with plastic bag


Rank: #10
Description: Obi Wan Kenobi Ghost from Lay's Potato Chips mail-in offer
Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Cause of Death: Darth Vader (duh.)


Rank: #9
Description: Casper the Friendly Ghost from the Funko Wacky Wobblers collection
Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Cause of Death: Bart: I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich.
Lisa: Hey they do look alike!
Bart: I wonder how he died.
Lisa: Maybe he realized how hollow the pursuit of money is and took his own life.


Rank: #8
Description: Wind-up Inky ghost from Pac-Man
Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Cause of Death: Turned blue due to energizer, eaten


Rank: #7
Description: Boo Berry bank (repro from Funko)
Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Cause of Death: From the looks of him.. alcoholism.


Rank: #6
Description: Medieval ghost by Playmobil
Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Cause of Death: Torture


Rank: #5
Description: Edgar Allen Poe figure from Shadowbox
Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Cause of Death: Theories include cholera, rare brain disease, diabetes, various types of enzyme deficiency, syphilis, rabies, and it's possible he was shanghaied.


Rank: #4
Description: Hitchhiking ghosts from Disney's Haunted Mansion playset
Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Cause of Death: They're not exactly dead, they're cryogenically frozen.


Rank: #3
Description: Ghost Weeble from the Weebles Haunted House playset
Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Cause of Death: Wobbled, fell down


Rank: #2
Description: Space Ghost figure from Toycom
Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Cause of Death: TV Ratings


Rank: #1
Description: Toy Ghost made by Papo
Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Cause of Death: Wasted life blogging Halloween countdowns

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #1


Era: Unknown
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Flea Market
Rib Count: 24
Celebrity Look-alike: Every celebrity of average stature
Description: I stated the philosophy behind my personal skeleton preferences in the last post. Well, this one is the tallest, most accurate skeleton I've ever owned aside from the one lurking under my own skin. It will please you to know that he was created for the purpose of education.. for the betterment of mankind! He came with a complete set of organs and the transparent skin casing seen above. He even has a brain inside that skull. And yes, technically he is a toy and not one of those pricey classroom models, and no he doesn't glow in the dark, but that's what glow-in-the-dark paint is for. Please stop questioning my judgement.. I've made up my mind! It is my pleasure to present to you, the greatest skeleton of the 2006 internet skeleton countdown.. Skeleton #1. (I guess that was pretty anticlimactic since you've already seen the photo.)
Cause of Death: Malpractice
Rating: 11

Before I bring the countdown to a close I'd like to take a look at a few that I would have liked to include, but they aren't members of my collection yet...


The Lego Skeleton- I realize they have a subculture of their own, and rightfully so, but somehow I've gone this long without owning even one.


The Playmobil Skeleton- I wasn't aware of these until this countdown. At this time, I solemnly vow to own one by next Halloween.


Scareglow from the Masters of the Universe series- Though I watched the cartoon every weekday afternoon (when I was way too old for it) and I'm fond of several choice characters (Moss Man, I love you.) I'm hesitant to admit that I never fully embraced all things He-Man. However, the introduction of Scareglow caused me to pause, reassess and eventually unlearn everything I knew about the series.


Microman Skeleton suit- I saw this for the first time today. It was a "convention exclusive" costume made for dressing up Micromen (they were called Micronauts in the states) It seems they reproduced these at one time and they made a Godzilla costume too! Someday all my toys will have Halloween costumes of their own.

And so... it is with great pleasure that I conclude this groundbreaking look into the astonishing world of toy skeletons. I would like to thank all of you commenters for the valuable, informative, and often hilarious feedback.. especially you regulars: Steven, Rozum, Gentle Disonance, Todd F., HarveyMidnight, Herva, Flashfink, ChuckBarris, Smurfwreck, Cjd, Travis (creator of the wonderful Sandy Duncan image) Devlin, and resident expert Gugon. You all made it so much fun and really kept me motivated. And an extra thanks goes out to those of you who actually contributed to my obsession Todd, Rozum, and Devlin. Happy Halloween to all!

The Cast (Click picture to super-size)

The Blacklight test (Click to super-size)

October 30, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #2



Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Toys R' Us
Rib Count: 24 (the actual number of human ribs)
Celebrity Look-alike: The skeletons in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
Description: This entry is everything I look for in a skeleton. It's accurate, it glows in the dark, it's posable, it's sizable (about a foot tall) and it even disassembles so it can serve as a "puzzle."
Frankly, I'm surprised at myself for being so fond of such a "normal" skeleton. I would think that I'd be into something brimming with artistic liberties. I think it's because real skeletons are such a perfect design that I wish the toy counterparts to be as similar as can be. Is he predictable? Maybe. Boring? Never.
Additional Info: I've seen this guy packaged in many different ways and in a number of different stores. When I first bought him he was called "Bag O' Bones." Years later I picked up another one called "The Bone Box" or something. With a quick search I was able to find him listed HERE and HERE.
Cause of Death: Awesomeness
Rating: 10

October 29, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SHOWDOWN FOR #3!

You guessed it, there's a fight for number three! I call this one the Duel at the Dime Store!


"Dangling Skeleton With Moving Eyes"
Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Salem, MA
Rib Count: 12
Celebrity Look-alike: That old guy in Poltergeist II
Description: Points of interest: lenticular eyes (luxurious), hoofed feet (disturbing), apparent flesh covering (vomitous).

And in this corner...


"Hanging Skeleton"
Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Ebay
Rib Count: 22
Celebrity Look-alike: Magilla Gorilla
Description: Points of interest: chain made of real metal (fancy), rubber suction cup (inventive), eyes on the same side of the skull (unique), large nostrils (hideous).

The Judgment: One hangs, one dangles, both employ a bright yellow header card to draw attention from young shoppers. But one goes the extra mile and shows children what sort of fun can be had with a little imagination.. sort of a serving suggestion for the mind. " It's true, this skeleton could fence cave-dwelling robot knights.. I'll take it!"

The Winner: Skeleton #3 is..."Dangling Skeleton With Moving Eyes"
Cause of Death for Hanging Skeleton: Hanging

October 28, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #4


Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Toy show
Rib Count: 14
Celebrity Look-alike: Steve Buscemi
Description: Yeah, yeah laugh it up. You see dust on him, right? Well, show me a collector with a dust-free collection and I'll show you a crappy collection. (Unless of course it's a very rich collector with enough glassed-in displays to enclose his entire collection. In that case, the collection would probably be pretty great. Unless the rich collector collects Beanie Babies.)
Anyway, a skeleton with a pet bat is completely awesome.
Additional Info: Part of the MPC monster series
Cause of Death: Bat rabies
Rating: 8.2

October 27, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #5


Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Classroom Halloween party
Rib Count: 18
Celebrity Look-alike: John Voight
Description: Just about the time I had decided that school was totally useless, this little guy (who was attached to a tube of candy pellets) was tossed upon on my desk. It was mine to keep.. my first and only government funded skeleton. And he wasn't just for looking at.. he could do tricks! With some careful manipulation of his plastic slide-bar he performed acrobatics. Just look at this photo to the right that I pulled off ebay...
Handstands were his favorite, but different moves on my part yielded different results from him. Then when I discovered I could release one or both of his hands the possibilities blew wide open. It was like a living video game and I had the remainder of the school year to master it.
Additional Info: Also useful as a pencil topper.
Cause of Death: Performing without a net.
Rating: 7.9

October 26, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SHOWDOWN FOR #6!

Hold everything, it's another title bout folks! Behold the Clash of the Gluttons!


"The Laudable Lush"
Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Pet shop
Rib Count: 14
Celebrity Look-alike: Dean Martin
Description: How did this happen? All we know: He's an escaped prisoner. He got drunk in a pile of gold. He died (apparently too soused to flee his doom.) The location of his death was eventually submerged in seawater. It's a mystery for the ages. Ironically the current continues to lift the jug to his missing lips again and again and again.
Additional Info: Penn Plax has made immeasurable progress in the field of plastic skeleton promotion. Thanks to their time tested, non-threatening aquarium ornaments it's not unheard of to spot skeletons in hospital waiting rooms, travel agencies or even retirement homes. It's common knowledge that the ocean floor is cluttered with the remains of fallen pirates and Penn Plax simply cashes in on this notion. They invented all the classics.. the pop-up skull in the barrel, the stubborn skinless captain who spends the hereafter gripping the ship's wheel, and the reclining skeleton with a cutlass in his ribs.. all of which provide both atmosphere and aeration.

And in this corner...


"The Overfed Overlord"
Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Wal-Mart
Rib Count: 16
Celebrity Look-alike: James Woods?
Description: The fangs make it obvious that this is the living skeleton of a vampire. A vampire who suffers a most dismal state of being. Though he's practically dead he must continue to feed. His digestive system, still present and functional, spills out from his bony body cavity in a most repulsive fashion. It looks as though we've caught him after a heavy meal, but though he's too full to even stand he is entirely lacking in satisfaction. I long to know the tale of how he earned such a dreadful curse.
Additional Info: This skeleton is an example of a rubber "Jiggler" it and was created by the master of all Jiggler-makers... Imperial Toys.

The Judgment: Here we have two skeletons that have been masterfully crafted by two of the most influential skeleton experts in the history of the world. Both have grossly overindulged in one way or another. But the phantom pirate promotes life even in his own death as he distributes sweet, nourishing oxygen to our domestic underwater allies.

The Winner: Skeleton #6 is... "The Laudable Lush"
Cause of Death for The Overfed Overlord: Disembowelment

October 25, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #7

Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Classroom Halloween party
Rib Count: 6
Celebrity Look-alike: James Woods?
Description: Small plastic skeleton
Additional Info: Nah.
Cause of Death: Sedentary lifestyle
Rating: 6.0

October 24, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SHOWDOWN FOR #8!

Well, it was bound to happen. With scarce few slots remaining in the skeleton countdown two skeletons have decided to contend for the same position. I will use the standard scientific evaluation of each and the better skeleton will make the countdown. I present you with The Battle of the Bendys..


"The Great White Bendy"
Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Ben Franklin store
Rib Count: 16
Celebrity Look-alike: Clint Eastwood
Description: A sturdy, moody, well-designed bendy.
Additional Info: I noticed that this skeleton can be seen in every layout of the book "I Spy: Spooky Night" and I also saw that they used the crab-like alien from this post. (On the cover below the skeleton is in the doorway and the crab alien is in the window.)


And in this corner...


"The Green Machine"
Era: 1980s or 90s 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Only his eyes
Place of Origin: Athens, GA
Rib Count: 16
Celebrity Look-alike: Napoleon Boneapart from the Groovie Goolies
Description: A sturdy, happy, well-designed bendy.
Additional Info: A gift from Devlin Thompson, a marvelous cartoonist, designer and proprietor of Bizarro Wuxtry comics and toys.

The Judgment: While Mr. White is probably older (and in terms of skeletons.. older is better) ol' greeny comes out ahead slightly in the Glow-in-the-Dark category. And they both share the same number of ribs so that's no help.
Now, the white one has gained a certain level of notoriety by way of those children's books, however, the green wonder was a gift.. a tangible representation of pure altruism..a glimpse of mankind at its best. And that, dear readers, trumps all.

The Winner: Skeleton #8 is... "The Green Machine"
Cause of Death for The Great White Bendy: Killed with kindness

October 23, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #9


Era:
1960s or 70s Probably 80s or later
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Cain and Abel
Rib Count: Unknown
Celebrity Look-alike: The Ghost of Christmas Future
Description: Boy, there's a lot that's already been written about this guy. It's hard to think of anything new to add. You're probably better off just reading this.
Additional Info: Part of the MPC monster series.
Cause of Death: Himself
Rating: 1.7 (I'm cheating death)

October 22, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #10


Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Ebay
Rib Count: 0
Celebrity Look-alike: Pokemon Charlie Brown
Description: Does a hollow plastic skull wedged into a vinyl bag really constitute a skeleton? Of course it does. Who would even ask such a question?
Ok, it's a pretty weak entry, but it does get a few points for its refreshing (albeit cheap) approach, the strong Japanese-influenced face, and for just being relatively old.
Additional Info: Part of a gaggle of "Halloween party puppets" from the 60s...


Cause of Death: Partied too hearty
Rating: 4.2

October 21, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #11


Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Bell's Amusement Park Tulsa, OK
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: The melting guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark
Description: This is the one that started it all. My very first rubber skeleton. My head is full of memories that involve admiring, studying, drawing, playing with, traveling with, and even speaking to this very figure. And now I look upon this dear toy and wonder how it is even possible that my young mind completely failed to notice his unsettling, um.. disfigurement.
Additional Info: They say you don't truly appreciate a possession unless you have earned it yourself. This old adage certainly holds true in this case, for this skeleton was my compensation for a momentous ski-ball game that was expertly played.
As an homage, I included this fellow in the background of the souvenir shop in this Flip web toon.
Cause of Death: Humiliation
Rating: 6.0

October 20, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #12+


Era: Unknown
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Hong Kong
Rib Count: 32 (between the two of them)
Celebrity Look-alike: Homer Simpson
Description: Witness a portrait of two skeletal kinfolk who belong to a family of millions. Their oldest sibling was born near half a century ago while the youngest was probably born about 10 seconds ago and currently travels along a warm conveyor belt amid a series of industrial machines. As you study the photo above, do you detect a hint of rivalry in their body language? I do.

Though the left brother is honorably "mint in bag," close examination reveals that his body is less detailed and is plagued with the dreaded flaps of excess plastic. He's an umpteenth generation facsimile who bitterly resents his counterpart's purer lineage. He does his best to act disinterested as his emancipated brother recounts tales of glorious Halloween parties of yesteryear and madcap Trick or Treating shenanigans, but his heart (so to speak) is covetous.

And yet the brother on the right is all the while envious of his uncirculated kin. For his rival displays an unflinching pride in his personal identity as well as his homeland. Plus, an incidental benefit of his "header card" is that it almost fully obscures his "hangin' loop." (the loose brother is secretly shameful of his own.) His virgin brother has never known the taste of dust or the stench of dried Halloween mask sweat. These thoughts leave him stewing in his own jealously.

So they both exist.. unhappy in their own skin, (so to speak) so they live (so to speak) under a self-imposed curse of discontentment. You see it coming so do I have to say it?... Don't be like the skeletons.

Additional Info: These two have been separated all of their lives (so to speak) until just a couple weeks ago when one (formerly a Missouri resident) caught wind of the greatest skeleton gathering of all time, prompting him to say goodbye to his many friends and climb into a stamped envelope. In total darkness he travelled on a series of trucks until he reached the Natural State (a.k.a. Arkansas). He emerged to see his long lost brother and at least thirty-one new bony buddies. Who was the skeleton's original owner? None other than Todd from the Neatocoolville blog. And that's the rest of the story. (Thanks Todd- the skeleton is neato and you are cool! um, ville.)
Cause of Death: Suffocation/Polluted air
Rating: 5/5

October 19, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #13


Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Bag of party favors
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: At the request of this skeleton I shan't compare him to a celebrity.
Description: This novelty skeleton, rest his soul, bears a message of hope for all of us living in these topsy-turvy times. Read it loud and clear..the Skeleton Making Powers that be still have what it takes to make a proper rubber skeleton! Take comfort in the fact that some things never change. He's only a year old but he's the real deal.. tried and true.. time tested. Even in your gigabitten ipod world with your MTV video games and your myspace races there's still room for a classic, darn it!
He's basic white, he's rubber, he's got two eyes, arms and legs, and a hangin' hoop.. and he dangles, by golly he can dangle with the best of them. And nobody can take that away! Not the shifty-eyed politicians or the back-stabbing attorneys or the corporate fat cats. He may not be "fancy" and he may not be "politically correct" or even "pleasant to look at" but he's the one that will take you out for a game of pool the day after that so-called "skeleton of your dreams" has left you high and dry. Take him or leave him, love him or leave him, what you see is what you get, see my pinkie boy you're stinky. And if you don't like it you'll have to pry this cold rubber skeleton out of my cold dead skeleton hands!
Additional Info: Don't get me started.
Cause of Death: Martyrdom
Rating: 7.8

October 18, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #14


Era: Unknown (presumably 1970s or earlier)
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Granny Jo Anne's Joke and Magic Shop
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: Bill Murray in What About Bob (first time sailing scene)
Description: I have only admiration for this rubber skeleton. From his accurate and detailed sculpt to his chilling expression of both shock and agony.. you're looking at an upstanding example of the human frame. And if his color is getting in the way of your appreciation for him then maybe you'd do well to take some time and reexamine your own values. Sheesh.
Additional Info: Click HERE to read the full "story" behind this acquisition.
Cause of Death: Giant wires stuck in back
Rating: 9.5

HALLOWEEN MYSTERY MUSIC

I interrupt this countdown to seek council from you folks out there in internetland. In 1997 I bought one of those cheapie Halloween sound effects CDs at Wal-Mart for like, three bucks. As you can see below it's simply called 55 Minute Horror Sounds and it was produced by Fun World Electronics.

Ninety-nine percent of it is indeed environmental "horror sounds," (which are pretty good actually) but the CD opens with an eerie little synthesizer melody that I've adored since the first time I heard it. You can hear it HERE. (1 meg, right click and 'Save as' to download.)

If you listen closely it sounds like it's been edited at the 35 second mark. Which naturally causes me to wonder if it's from a larger piece of existing music. And so I pose the questions...

Do you recognize this music? (Perhaps as an adaptation of another piece of music, or from some other sound effects/spooky music album, or maybe even a film or TV show.)

I emailed Fun World years ago and got no response. A couple Halloweens ago I heard an even shorter version of the exact same recording on an electronic Jack-O-Lantern. It played as a mechanical ghost popped out of the head. (I don't know if Fun World made it or not.)

Any info would be greatly appreciated. It may be that some intern hammered it out in the Fun World office during his lunch hour, but my hope is that it's from a grand and lengthy opus that I've yet to discover and that's readily downloadable for free.

October 17, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #15


We've reached the halfway point of this roller coaster ride of a countdown. Between now and number one there's a commendable line-up of skeletons awaiting to haunt you. No filler, just calcium enriched goodness. But first, lets take a moment to dip into the mailbag.
This letter comes all the way from Livingston, Texas. It says..

Dear Casey,
When I was a boy my father and I traveled our great nation with a small carnival. We ran a portable dark ride called the "Geisterhaus" which means something like "Ghost House" in Germany. It folded neatly into a tractor trailer that was driven by our good pal Mickey. The ride scared those teenage punks to death, and we all know they deserved it for crying out loud.
My pop didn't have a lot of cash for babbysitters or nothing so he'd just put me in our spook ride for hours and hours every night. It was real scary at first but I got real brave over time. I didn't have no friends so I ended up becoming best buds with this skeleton that I named Gordon. He wore a ratty cloak, and we were closer than brothers. (we even fought sometimes just like brothers)
Well, my pop has come on hard times lately and he had to sell that old Ghost House along with Gordon too. Some ******* teenager got out of his carriage and got shocked and he sued my father for all he had. So anyway I'd like to dedicate one of your skeletons to my dear old dad. His name is Monty. And it would be extra special if you had one that wore a cloak or something.

By the way, I'm writing this from prison.

Chris Wulliman
Inmate #
55170-054
Polunsky Prison
Livingston, Texas

You got it Chris! Moving up the charts to the number fifteen slot, it's... skeleton number fifteen!
Monty, this one's for you!

Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Technically yes- his head is a flashlight
Place of Origin: Toys "R" Us
Rib Count: Unknown (covered in shrouds)
Celebrity Look-alike: Zippy the pinhead
Description: You read it correctly, his head is equipped with a light bulb. Why, you ask? Because there's an ink pen pointing out of his skull, and the light enables you to write in the dark!! Please take a moment to wrap your mind around it all.

So one might assume this fact would grant him "ultimate skeleton" status in my mind. In truth, his existence only places ideas in my head concerning the unmet potential of toy skeletons in general. For instance, why didn't they at least embed a digital clock in his chest? Why doesn't he play MP3s? Why don't his hands contain vaccine for minor diseases?
Additional Info: A word to both current and future parents.. if you and your spouse ever drop the kids off at their grandma's on your way to an exciting day trip in Tulsa and later return to find that your son is irritable, angry and making accusations of abandonment.. the above item is guaranteed to eliminate any bitterness harbored by the youngster.
Cause of Death: Dead battery
Rating: 8.6

October 15, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #16


Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes (barely)
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 16
Celebrity Look-alike: Donkey Kong
Description: Here's yet another entry that I would classify as a "throw away" skeleton. A funny name for it because we all know I couldn't possibly bring myself to trash even the trashiest one. This guy is flat and crude, but I've got to hand it to him for being the most translucent member of the countdown. And someone, bless their soul, was once employed to paint his eyes, and they did a better job than this piece deserves. I suppose I should also force myself to appreciate the artistic achievement that's displayed here. It certainly required an imaginative sculptor to dream up that face. Speaking of artistic liberties, why is he wearing a neckerchief?
Additional Info: Once again I haven't a notion of how I became the owner of this "collectible." Mind you I'm usually quite aware of the stories behind my junk. I know I like to joke around about magic skeletons, and I often "nyuck it up" with talk of magic skeleton powers and all that jazz, but if I may be serious for a moment.. this is a clear cut case of skeleton magic.
Cause of Death: Toes caught in an escalator
Rating: 2.9

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #17


Era: 1960s or 70s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Archie Mcphee's, Seattle WA
Rib Count: 22
Celebrity Look-alike: Sandy Duncan
Description: The giant hoop on his head was probably your first clue that this is one of those plastic miniature "charms." When I was a kid it seemed like 90% of the trinkets that came out of gumball machines sported a hoop. My mom informed me that the stuff was intended for use with charm bracelets. I never made one so I always felt a little guilty thinking that I was misusing my vending machine toys. Maybe that's why I always bit the hoops off.
Anyway, this one's a pretty decent skeleton with the exception of the claw-like feet.
And Fun Blog reader Gugon commented:
"I work in the injection molded plastics field and sometimes it gives me a different perspective on toys. For example, do you see that little circle in the middle of the chest? That's the ejector pin mark. The ejector pin is what pushes the part out of the mold. Usually these are located in a discreet location. For example, on the BACK of the skeleton.
In the highly competitive plastic skeleton industry, there is no excuse for the ejector pin to be located in the middle of the chest. For me, this skeleton loses points for that."
Additional Info: One of the cool things about the Archie Mcphee shop is that they sell lots of kooky, vintage store stock. They had big vats of the trinkets I so loved as a kid, and it was worth it to pay a little more since you can actually choose the ones you want without having to deal with unwanted doubles, gumballs, or toy jewelry. More info at Mcphee.com
Cause of Death: Citrus poisoning
Rating: 5.2

UPDATE: Special thanks to Fun Spot reader Travis for researching the following...
"I had to check Sandy Duncan's face again, after your blog entry this
morning, and sure enough- it's her! Proof is attached."

October 14, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #18


Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Bag of party favors from Wal-Mart
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: Alley Oop
Description: Allow me to say what everyone is thinking... What is up with those lower ribs? This is the only skeleton I own whose arms are usually trapped inside his own rib cage. The design is baffling. I'm also not a fan of the sternum growing out from the chin. Looks too much like a long braided beard. But this guy has one super power and that is.. he's blacklight sensitive. Now anything that glows-in-the-dark is automatically blacklight sensitive, but this fellow achieves a neon-like radiance that will make anyone's time in the blacklight more special. Also note that he has both a built-in hanging chord (which goes into the skull and is secured by a knot) and a rubber hanging hoop. This is something you only see on luxury models.
Additional Info: MADE IN CHINA
Cause of Death: Radiation Alien Chestburster
Rating: 5.6

October 13, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #19


Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 14
Celebrity Look-alike: Jack Nicholson
Description: In an effort to further educate the public in the art of 'metal ring' skeleton construction, I offer this final example. I'm certain you'll agree that he makes a striking impression. Unlike Skeleton #20, this one has rings that are of suitable proportions. This skeleton is undoubtedly an inspired piece of work (as opposed to Skeleton #20 which I suspect was "inspired" by this design, which is putting it nicely). This model excels in many ways.. from the carefully detailed sculpt to the remarkably true-to-life bone tone. But possibly his greatest quality (though difficult to see in this photo) is his "jeweled" eyes of imitation blue topaz. As a rule, jeweled eyes are the badge of a quality skeleton. Remember that.
Additional Info: This one is also a keychain. There's no telling how many lives he's saved.
Cause of Death: Fell on a pile of sharp jewels
Rating: 7.7

October 12, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #20


Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 10
Celebrity Look-alike: A member of the Star Wars Cantina Band Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank
Description: Would you like a skeleton to go with that pile of linking rings?
I suppose it's not something I should make light of.. I guess I'm just trying to ease the blow. As you may remember, I touched on the topic of 'metal ring' skeleton construction early in the countdown. After some careful thought I decided it was finally time that you understand what can happen when it's handled all wrong. I'm very sorry you had to see this.

On top of that, it's a "key fob" (which is just a fancy word for 'keychain' that I thought might be fun to use.) Now, in the past I've been known to eagerly promote skeleton keychains among drivers of all ages. Because until recently I've been a firm believer that the sobering message they send is certain to make people mindful of the consequences of bad driving habits. However, this "skeleton" is so absurdly long and unwieldy I fear that it's bound to get tangled around gas pedals, thus causing more accidents than it would prevent. Consider this a consumer advisory.
Additional Info: I think this was a gift.
Cause of Death: Dismemberment
Rating: 3.0

October 11, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #21


Let's continue to get some of the lesser skeletons out of the way so that the second half of the countdown will be a better experience, shall we? Here's another lackluster entry...

Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 12
Celebrity Look-alike: One of those guys from Sesame Street that goes "yip, yip, yip, uh-huh."
Description: I would tell you that he's the second to smallest skeleton in the countdown, but if I get into all that then where will it ever end? What? Next do you want me to start reporting things like 'this one ranks number 28 in weight and 7th in white-ness?' I can't.. I just can't go there!!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just that seeing this skeleton's smug face just makes me so darn mad. It's that cocky head-tilt and the way he crosses his legs all nonchalant-like. And what could he possibly be so proud of? He doesn't even have a nose hole! Well.. there is one thing I suppose. He knows what it's like "on the other side." And that really gets my goat. I try to put him in his place with cheap shots like "Your hands look like unearthed tree roots!" or "My, that's some real nice unsightly excess plastic you've got hanging off your ribs there." But after about a half-hour of this I wipe the sweat from my brow only to I realize that as long as I'm alive I can never be as easygoing as he is, and he just smiles back as if to say.. "Gotcha again, big guy."
Additional Info: This is yet another mysterious stowaway in my collection. I have no recollection of his entrance into my life, I just know I've had him since I was a kid.
Cause of Death: Maxing and relaxing
Rating: 4.4

October 10, 2006

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #22


Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Hobby Lobby
Rib Count: 4
Celebrity Look-alike: Ron Howard's brother Clint
Description: 10 problems I have with this skeleton..
1. Its meaningless markings on the forehead
2. Its overly cartoonish appearance
3. Its beady yellow eyes
4. Its "turtleneck" rib cage
5. That shade of violet paint
6. The fact that it looks like a child
7. The 'm' on its pelvis
8. Its pelvis
9. Its chubby cheeks
10. It almost caused me to be late with my October 10th posting.
Additional Info: He's another "bendy," big whoop.
Cause of Death: Who cares
Rating: 3.1