HALLOWEEN 2018

Greetings internet traveler! I just want to commemorate this Halloween season with a rundown of how things have played out this year. It's been a different type of season for me because this is the first Halloween in nine years that I've had a full time, day-to-day job as opposed to a precarious freelance lifestyle. This has created the classic time vs. money conundrum. Last year I was able to review a different vintage Halloween cassette every single day in October, while this year work-related time constraints kept me from crossing off several major items from my annual list of Halloween goals. (I discovered a couple years ago that lists can help keep the Halloween magic from slipping through my fingers.)  Here's how it went...

1. Decorate house for Halloween 

    Done

 

2. Go on October trip to Toronto

3. Go to Chicago toy show

    Both were not prudent given my work situation  

4. Go to a Halloween event

    See below

5. See a horror movie in the theater
    Saw Halloween (2018)

6. Make my Halloween mood table

    No, but my house evokes a strong Halloween mood this year

7. Drive to a nearby town and go Halloween shopping

    Went to several

8. Play a Halloween themed video game
    I started playing Fortnite to bond with my son earlier this year. Then I kept playing. This October it became Halloween themed

9. Read an 80s horror paperback

   Didn't make the time 

10. Watch my pre-selected Halloween movie pile
Got through almost all of it. It included things like: WNUF Halloween Special, Trick 'r Treat, Hereditary, Channel Zero: Candlestick Cove, Ghost Stories, Ghost Story, Return of the Living Dead, Mandy, The Town that Dreaded Sundown, Phantasm III and more

11. Have friends over to watch scary things 

   Yes, two friends came over on two different nights and watched IT (2017), and Carrie respectively

  

12. Create something with a Halloween theme

    See Below

13. Make a Halloween blog post

    Work in progress

14. Celebrate Halloween with my family

    Still to come 

It was a work-related errand that kicked off my "pre-Halloween" back in September. I wandered into Lowe's on a Wednesday morning and lit up when I saw a fresh display spooks sitting on hay bales. I picked up my very first life-size plastic skeleton, the kind that GLOWS IN THE DARK. The Lowe's manager lady gave a triumphant shout across the store and declared that I had bought the first Halloween item of the year. Other customers chuckled when I laid him on the floor in front of the cash register. In the parking lot yet another lady made a joke as I was putting him into the passenger seat of the truck. With expert timing I retorted, "Now I have someone to talk to." and a group of shoppers all laughed. It felt like I was in a movie where the happy-go-lucky character has the perfect skeleton buying experience while the opening credits pop on and off the screen.

A week later the skeleton was accompanied by a plastic light-up Jack-o-lantern. I found it at the Tulsa flea market and it has all sorts of sentimental value for me. First, my uncle stored his Matchbox cars and plastic toys in a treat bucket of this very same design. So I would dump out this pumpkin head during nearly every childhood visit to my grandmother's house. It also still has its $1.47 Woolco price tag stuck to it...


  

And best of all, the man who sold it to me said it was a classroom decoration for years. It has a masking taped label on the bottom that says "[Something] Boys & Girls, Salina, KS" I think Woolos (Wootos?) may be a teacher's name, and it's dated Oct. 26, 1975.
  
I was about to pay for it when I saw this on the floor under the table...




It's the Kay Lande and Wade Denning Halloween classroom record! It includes the song "Halloween" that we sang in grade school Music class, and was the official theme song for the holiday in my mind. The digital version of this has been my go-to every year since I discovered it on the legendary Scar Stuff blog. It's a great, not-too-scary album that I could play for my son when he was very little.

It's quite possible that this record was stored alongside the jack-o-lantern, only to emerge once a year into a room of lucky children. Those pumpkin eyes probably saw costumed kids dancing to the record on chilly Kansas mornings year after year. Sigh.


September also found me on the ebay, searching for collectible reminders of forgotten Halloween memories. This cloaked skeleton figure popped up...

 

It's not a toy, or a decoration per se, but more of a craft item for the doll collecting set. I closed the tab and moved on. Yet, obviously I own it now, so what happened? Well, it popped up in another one of my search results and I started thinking about it. It's from 1987, and it reminds me of the sort of thing that might have caught my attention when I was a kid on shopping days when my mom would drag me from store to store. Her stores catered to moms of course, so sometimes anything distantly toy-like was all there was to focus on during the endless visits. Halloween expanded the possibilities. It could be something like a stuffed black cat, or a felt monster, or a witch cake decoration. But I liked this concept of Halloween fun for moms and grandmas.

It still has a tag on it that mentions the Virginian sisters who made it. That caused me to imagine their whole brainstorming session behind the skeleton man. Two sisters sitting in Virginia in 1987 (or '86 if they had a lot of lead time) discussing their upcoming collectible Halloween dolls. This delights me. Then I wondered what I was doing on that day. I also wonder who bought it, and why it reeks of cigarette smoke and perfume.

I was also struck by his little flannel shirt sleeves. This clearly isn't a grim reaper, but an adult wearing a handmade costume of his own design. The bones look hastily painted on the smock, and I can't tell who's craftsmanship that reflects, the doll maker or the doll's. This flannel-and-jeans wearing guy was probably working the 1987 jaycee's haunted house. This portrayal of a homemade haunter also stuck with me. All of these thoughts motivated me to bid, and when I finally did, I grew terrified that I'd lose the auction. (Turns out I had no competition.)

A couple weeks later I got a call from good ol' Mike Becker of Funko fame. He said he was planning a Halloween fundraiser called Monster Mask-O-Raid, and he was seeking vintage Halloween photos, as well as artwork for the show. Thanks to my new job I have access to screen printing equipment, which is an art form that has eluded me all my life. In a moment of revelation, I decided to combine my desire to screen print with this art opportunity, and the spark of inspiration was none other than the flannel shirt-wearing grim reaper.

I spent a couple weeks brainstorming, sketching, and finalizing my design which turned into a series of die cut-style Halloween decorations featuring the skeleton man and his decorated neighborhood.
The night before my shipping deadline I bribed a college student with a pizza dinner in exchange for supervising me as I attempted to ink my first designs. (I had already called in other favors earlier in the week to get assistance with printing the transparent film and burning the screens.) The first batch was a success! My goal was to make a series of 25 sets of three.

After my pizza-fed student teacher left I started having trouble with the black ink. My sets dwindled as the ink bled and dried in all the wrong places. Feeling defeated, I decided to stop before I ruined all my orange prints. Then it dawned on me that if I could salvage just one of each design I could submit a single complete set of three. That's what I did, and here's how they turned out...

The mask on the kid is based on a real mask that I saw on one of my old blog posts about a Traveler's Novelty Catalog. (Bottom left)

Just like this Halloween season itself, I didn't live up to my own grand plan, but I'm still very happy with the outcome.

One thing that did turn out right was number four on my list...

4. Go to a Halloween event

There's a cave in Missouri that's been showing spooky movies inside it around Halloween. (In previous years they've put on a spook house in the cave, which also sounds neat.) Their sign is good too...

  

The exterior is pretty well decorated which gave us a jolt of Halloween magic...

 

I took my son to see Beetlejuice, which was his first time to see it. When it was over he looked around and said, "Oh, yeah, I forgot we were in a cave." It was a uniquely surreal experience. Water from the ceiling dripped on me several times. Maybe next year I'll see a horror show there. They screen The Descent (2005) on Halloween night.

Yesterday was another Halloween-ish time spent at a corn maze and pumpkin patch...




Those were my most notable events this month. The weather was super hot in early October, then it turned crazy cold and rainy a couple weeks ago. There were quite a few nice and gloomy days. These offered plenty of smile-inducing moments like picking up my pizza order at the gas station and seeing this guy hanging in the window. (Yes, I eat gas station pizza. Casey's tastes like a childhood pizza party.)






I also got my most popular ever Twitter post with this video and the caption:
"The Halloween decoration I hung outside my own window has legitimately terrified me three times now."
which is very true...

There was also a lot of shopping. Flea markets...




And Target, where you can find an official Mego Frankenstein action figure in the year 2018!..




Last year the big challenge was finding the plastic Skeleton Army that was being sold in some Dollar General stores. My twitter feed was full of boastful people lording them over me. I went to a half dozen locations before I was finally able to track them down in the next town over.  This year they followed with a Mummy Army and I was poised for another hunt, but apparently the success of the skeletons convinced them to put the mummies in nearly every location.

But most of my shopping was online. Like this amazing skeleton from Boss Fight Studio that I found thanks to a tip from a twitter pal, The Pathologist...

 

 

And this British import of the mini Stretch X-Ray! Thanks to a tip from another Twitter pal.

 

And yet another Twitter pal, Andy Nyman, sent me this superb dime store "Lochness Monster," also from the UK!

There's also these (which came from a store, now that I think about it.)

I couldn't resist the amazingly ridiculous, ridiculously amazing Savage World horror figures from Funko...

And light-up Halloween III pins from Camera Viscera...

 

But my favorite of all Halloween products this year is this perfect Beistle skeleton blanket from Creepy Company.

Welp, it's late and I should post this so I can get back to work. I'll leave you with some pics of graveyards and moons from this season.  Happy Halloween!

 

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #31: The Hallmark Halloween Tapes

Hallmark put out four different Halloween cassettes between 1986 and '89 during the peak of the Halloween cassette trend. The tapes were part of their annual Halloween promotions. For example, if you spent five dollars, you could get a tape for $1.95 (Which really wasn't less than most Halloween cassettes at the time.) The first three releases share a great deal of content (see specifics below) while the '89 release was an all new recording. I have many questions about these tapes, and perhaps the answers rest deep in the Hallmark archives, but for now I'll happily rely on pure speculation.

Title: The Haunting Sounds of Halloween
Manufacturer: Hallmark
Year: 1986
Also popular from Hallmark that year: Black cat and witch Merry Miniatures

Total Runtime: around 60 Min
Repeats on both sides: Yes
Stories: No
Music: Cinematic music, some synth, and some pipe organ music
Narration: No 
Distinct Audio: "Aren't you a little big to be trick or treating?" and other lines of dialogue 
Review: Hallmark has always presented a grandma-friendly version of Halloween that complimented the discount store blood and disfigured monster masks. It often found its way onto teachers' desks and store clerk smocks, and I always welcomed the sight of it. Naturally, their Halloween cassettes follow the same whimsical aesthetic.

Rather than a harrowing soundscape, the Hallmark effects come at you methodically, and with a bit too much dead air in between each noise for my taste. The mood stays tongue-in-cheek as a handful of actors speak comical lines. Most are written to work with a trick or treat porch scenario like: "My, what an ugly costume." and, "Didn't the other kids tell you not to come here?" The effects in between are death-free; instead they focus on things like door hinges and cats.

The Haunting Sounds of Halloween is the rarest of the four Hallmark releases. It was seemingly replaced the same year it came out with The Sounds of Halloween (see below). The assortment of sound effects are almost identical and presented in the same order. The difference is that Haunting Sounds repeatedly plays John Williams' theme to the 1979 version of "Dracula." There's also a synth track that I can't identify (and neither can the Shazam app) which doesn't necessarily sound scary. It reminds me of the beginning of an '80s movie. My sense of wild speculation tells me that the tape was pulled and replaced due to a lack of legal clearance on the music. (The credits only list Paul Whitehead after Music Production.) Was it supposed to be placeholder music, or was this intentional thievery, or just a misunderstanding? The answer to all of those questions is "yes."

Legal or not, The Haunting Sounds of Halloween is well produced and creates an amusing, spooky atmosphere without traumatizing youngsters.
Rating: 4 of 5

 

Title: The Sounds of Halloween
Manufacturer: Hallmark
Year: 1986
Total Runtime: 37 Min 
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: "Toccata and Fugue in D-Minor," and a bunch of Halloween friendly pop covers. 
Narration: No 
Distinct Audio: See previous review
Review: As mentioned above, the sound effects side of this recording is virtually the same as The Haunting Sounds of Halloween, but without the music (except for good ol' "Toccata and Fugue in D-Minor.") There are also added flourishes to existing sounds (like reverb) and a few added extras, like a monster roar after some dialogue, as well as some general shuffling around. Unfortunately, the edits take a significant bite out of the runtime.

In what may be an effort to make up for this loss, side two is now full of  Halloween party staples: "Ghostbusters," "Monster Mash," "Thriller," "Purple People Eater" and another dose of  Bach. This was probably convenient in the mixtape era, but the downside is that the cover songs are a hollow shell of the original recordings. But that can be entertaining in its own way. The Vincent Price stand-in is delightfully droll, and completely loses track of the rhythm. They made the wise decision not to use a Michael Jackson impersonator, and opted for a female vocalist instead.  Paul Whitehead is once again the music producer so it's nice to know he didn't lose his job after the first album.

Sounds of Halloween suffered a loss after the previous release, but there's some new fun to be had. It's kind of a yin yang situation.
Rating: 3 of 5

Here's the closet that I can find to streaming audio...




 

Title: Howl-o-ween Sounds
Manufacturer: Hallmark
Year: 1987
Also popular from Hallmark that year: Lapel Pins
 
Total Runtime: 45 Min
Repeats on both sides: Yes 
Stories: No 
Music: "Toccata and Fugue in D-Minor"
Narration: No 
Distinct Audio: See previous releases 
Review: Howl-o-ween Sounds is easily the worst of the bunch because it includes the neutered effects of The Haunting Sounds of Halloween repeated on both sides. So there's no music at all except of course "Toccata and Fugue in D-Minor " which is a basic human right at this point.

They released it a second time with a different cover, possibly to fill their Halloween tape void in 1988.

 

Howl-o-ween Sounds wouldn't be so bad if we didn't know what we were missing—but we do.

Rating: 2 of 5




Title: Spooky Sounds
Manufacturer: Hallmark
Year: 1989
Also popular from Hallmark that year: Woodland Merry Miniatures

Total Runtime: 60 Min 
Repeats on both sides: No 
Stories: No 
Music: Incidental music and a collection of spooky pop tracks 
Narration: No 
Distinct Audio: New wacky dialogue 
Review: Three years after their foray into Halloween audio Hallmark must have realized that they had gotten all the mileage they could from The Sounds of Halloween. In 1989 they put together an all new album that follows their well established format of non-threatening sounds paired with kooky dialogue. Some of it is featured in this entertaining video...



They also went back to the half effects/half music model and filled side two with a set of newly recorded cover tunes that include: "The Munsters," "Monster Mash," "The Addams Family," "Ghostbusters," "Twilight Zone," "Dark Shadows," and an original called "Haunting Melody."

With a fresh new tape under their belt they also released a fresh new promotion...




Spooky Sounds is a strong effort that proves that experience, and an ability to learn from one's mistakes can lead to new heights.
Rating: 4 of 5


HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #30: Alfred Hitchcock Ghost Stories

Title: Alfred Hitchcock Ghost Stories 
(AKA Alfred Hitchcock Presents Ghost Stories for Young People)
Manufacturer: Wonderland Golden Records 
Year: Cassette 1988, original recording 1962 
Total Runtime: 44 Min 
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: Six different ones
Music: "The Funeral March of a Marionette" written by Charles Gounod (The Theme to "Alfred Hitchcock Presents") also some incidental music
Narration: All narration by John Allen
Distinct Audio: N/A
Review: This less-than-official-looking version of Alfred Hitchcock Presents Ghost Stories for Young People seems to be a legitimate reissue of  the 1962 album which was also produced by Wonderland Golden Records. The decision to revisit the title in 1988 may have been due to the newfound popularity of cheap Halloween tapes, or it may have been an attempt to profit from the mid-80s version of the "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" TV series.

Alfred himself provides a 'wrap around' for the six stories. They are expertly narrated by John Allen, and enhanced with an effective soundtrack. The tales come from all different sources, and some may be familiar to those already interested in the genre. "The Haunted and the Haunters" seems to be a loose interpretation of Edward Bulwer-Lytton's 1859 short story of the same name. Its tone is a bit more dire than the rest, which are rarely frightening. "Johnny Takes A Dare (The More The Merrier)" is very similar to "Wait 'Til Martin Comes Home" as it appears on Scary Spooky Stories (1973).

"The Helpful Hitchhiker" is the same urban legend that inspired Red Sovine's "Phantom 309," and the Large Marge scene in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (1985)." "The Open Window" by Saki was first published in 1914, and a different recording of it appears on Troll Records' Thrillers and Chillers (1973). "Jimmy Takes Vanishing Lessons" was first published as a Childrens book in 1950.

Though the source material isn't always the strongest, it's fun to light up a room with the spooky sounds of yesteryear. It's also three hundred times better if you listen to it with a kid.

Rating: 4 of 5

 

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #29: Chiller by the Cincinnati Pops

 

Title: Chiller by the Cincinnati Pops conducted by Erich Kunzel
Manufacturer: Telarc
Year: 1989
Total Runtime: 59 Min
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: Mostly music with a few sound effects vignettes
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: The "dangerous" sound effects. See below
Review: Back in high school, discussions about audio fidelity came up often because most of my friends were finally making the leap to compact discs, one Christmas and birthday at a time. My friend's audiophile dad taught us about the SPARS code, a three letter sequence printed on the discs that told you "how digital" an album was. So "AAD," the least desirable in our eyes, meant that an album was recorded in Analog, mixed in Analog, and Digitized for CD. Of course the ultimate was pure "DDD" because nothing sounds better than digital, right? ...Right?

I raced home and examined my collection of about ten CDs. (Thank you Columbia House music club.) Not a single triple D in the bunch. What was the point of even buying CDs?! (Aside from sound quality, durability, instant access to individual tracks, and so on.) This feature suddenly rose to the top of my list of things to look for in a compact disc, ranking slightly above the recording artist and album. What a classic case of ruining something I vastly enjoyed just because the grass seemed greener elsewhere. It's more ridiculous when you consider that my "sound system" came from JCPenny and had three inch speakers.

At the time I didn't understand how rare DDD recordings were. The only one I'd ever heard was my friend's copy of Nothing Like the Sun by Sting. Occasionally I'd find one in the record store, but nothing I wanted to spend two weeks of allowance on. That changed one evening in the Soundtrack CD section of Sound Warehouse. (I'm ashamed to admit how self-satisfied I became when I finally had "the right" to shop in the CD department.) I grabbed a CD with a beautifully illustrated haunted house on the cover. I perked up when I saw things like "Night on Bald Mountain," "Twilight Zone," and "Poltergeist" on the track listing. Then my eyes zeroed in on the SPARS code (bottom left)...



Triple D PURE DIGITAL! The cherry on top was a mysterious "Digital Sound Effects" warning for certain tracks. In the parking lot I tore open the booklet and read that these three tracks should not be played at high volume at the risk of damaging you speakers because the sweet digital fidelity is so powerful! I couldn't get home quick enough.

The first time I played Chiller I cautiously kept the volume dial around the "one" mark. I could hear a burst of lightning. I re-listened a few more times inching up the volume with each play. It's true, the warning tracks are incredibly loud, though I don't think my portable boom box was in any danger. But on a large system that thunderclap could give everyone in the room a heart attack.

On the other hand, I wasn't used to music that could get so quiet. There's such a dynamic range that the soft parts are nearly inaudible on low volume. But this has a great affect on songs like "Funeral March of a Marionette" when the first burst of percussion can give you a true jump scare.

I realize all of this has nothing to do with the cassette. I got the tape in a lot of unopened Halloween audio, and I don't plan on breaking the seal because I still have that delicious digi-clean DDD compact disc.

I didn't recognize a lot of the music titles when I bought it, but upon listening they were instantly familiar thanks to TV shows and movies. I discovered that "Danse Macabre" is the basis for the Halloween song I learned in school. I love about three fourths of this album. Chillers only loses me when some of the selections veer out of spooky territory. (Now I'm eager to check out the sequel they made in 2002 that isn't afraid to wallow in less Classical pop culture.)

Chiller is more than just a well recorded album. It's a collection of seminal Horror music in the hands of experts. Also, the letters on the cover glow-in-the-dark!
Rating: DDD

I can't find a streaming link, but it's on Pandora and itunes.

(Here's a detailed track by track review that I enjoyed.)

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #28: Halloween Horrors

Title: Halloween Horrors
Manufacturer: A&M Records
Year: 1977
Total Runtime: 30 Min
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: Side one is a single story
Music: No
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: "My baby! Have you seen my baby?"
Review: It seems that A&M Records took note of a sales trend that started with the massively successful Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House (1968) and continued with albums like Sounds to Make You Shiver (1974) and Ghostly Sounds (1975). Their response was Halloween Horrors. This seems to be the only Halloween album released by a major record label (if you don't count Disney). It's also the only one I know of that uses the genuine Dolby "B" noise reduction system. Printing a blurry Dolby logo on the back of the sleeve doesn't count; sorry Night in a Graveyard and Haunted House.

It's also likely that Halloween Horrors had one of the all-time biggest Halloween album budgets (which isn't saying much). This would explain why their search for voice talent was not limited to people who happened to be sitting in the office that day. They employed actors Michael Bell, and Peter Cullen who are probably best known for their work on G.I. Joe and Transformers cartoons of the '80s. The spectacular cover illustration comes from Gary Meyer who also did movie posters for "Jaws 3," The Deep,""The Exterminator 2,""Jason and the Argonauts," and more. His artwork is best experienced on the vinyl edition. Not only is the cassette insert tiny, it omits the wonderful back cover that is seen and discussed here on Branded in the 80s.

Side one features a fifteen minute "Story of Halloween Horror" that follows a young man visiting his newly inherited haunted estate. He recounts several legends surrounding the house during his drive over, and his visit confirms the tragic history.

I first heard this at a dinner party when I was in fifth grade. Shortly after meeting the two brothers of the household they dragged me into their bedroom and insisted that I ignore their room full of exciting new toys, and give my full attention to their mysterious cassette tape. As the story progressed I was afraid that I was hearing something that I shouldn't have been. I wondered if their parents even knew what they'd gotten their hands on. During the climactic ghostly encounter the distress in the young man's voice and the distorted cries of the apparition struck me at my core. My parents had no idea why I was acting strangely for the rest of the night.

Side two features "The Sounds of Halloween and other useful effects." These certainly proved useful for the countless record companies who strip-mined the record for some easy cash. For people like me who are tired of hearing all the thieves and imitators it's a treat to tap into the source material.

Halloween Horrors set the standard for Halloween records and it remains a true classic.

Rating: 5 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #27: Chillers by the Folktellers

Title: Chillers, by The Folktellers
Manufacturer: Mama-T Artists
Year: 1983
Total Runtime: 39 Min
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: Yes, seven of them
Music: No
Narration: N/A
Distinct Audio: N/A
Review: Connie Regan and Barbara Freeman are the storytelling duo known as the Folktellers. Chillers captures their 1983 Halloween night performance for a live audience. The receptive crowd is treated to seven eerie tales and poems that consist of both original and borrowed material.

This type of event reminds me of the sort of thing that would take place at our small town fine arts center. Something the English teacher would talk up for weeks, and even give you extra credit for attending. I can imagine my young self going to please my teachers, getting thrilled during the show, and leaving the auditorium to discover that the world is colder and more dangerous than I remembered.

The Chillers packaging feels educational. A gold sticker marks its status as an American Library Association notable record, and the cover illustration on heavy, textured paper somehow reminds me of art class. Maybe that's why it's surprising when the stories strike such a dark, and genuinely eerie tone.

Please indulge me here, but this album unlocks a floodgate of memories, and reminds me of the role that school played in making Halloween special. It started when I was a first grader going about my business when my teacher, so casual and unannounced, stuck a life-size Dracula on the wall. It didn't seem possible. It seemed like something she could get in trouble for.

As a kid you have so little control of your daily routine, and all of the sudden you find that your curriculum is sprinkled with spooky events that you didn't even have to ask for. Bats, ghosts, and pumpkins magically appear in the halls. The library display is full of books you didn't know they had: Alfred Hitchcock short stories, books on monster makeup, Halloween craft ideas and more. The school book orders suddenly rival the Christmas Wishbook.

In music class we were required to learn the Halloween song and Ghost of John. We were graded on our ability to be a creepy kids chorus! Our parents' tax dollars went towards teaching us to make proper skeletons and Jack-o-lanterns in art class. Everyone got marched to the library for a surprise screening of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," just thrown into a Wednesday afternoon!

October 31st wasn't even close to a normal school day. After blowing off the morning, the costumes went on and we were systematically paraded through other classrooms to be admired. Exotic students from older grades were brought to our hall for the mutual show-off session. Everything culminated with a personal desktop full of orange and black sweets. The plastic cupcake toppers were worthy decorations in their own right. Three decades later I still have some of them.

After a satisfying night of trick or treating we returned to school for... the Halloween carnival. The building was hard to recognize with all the streamers and balloons and costumed crowds. Classrooms were midway games, the cafeteria was a festive town square cloaked in the scent of popcorn. The sixth grade locker corridor that we passed through every day had become a walkthrough haunted house! Behind massive sheets of black vinyl were hidden student council members, bloodied up and waiting to scream at us. The fact that it all happened in the school setting made it incredibly surreal. Only Halloween had this much transformative power.

Sorry, where was I now? Ah, yes, the record.
A week ago we played through Chillers as we sat around my backyard fire pit under the October moon. It was ideal. The Folktellers, true to their name, use their charming accents and seasoned storytelling to tap into the fireside tradition. Their rural nightmares could have happened last year or last century. It's Halloween listening at it's best.

(By the way, the copy of Chillers that I bought on ebay was listed as "written on by previous owners." In fact, it's signed by both Connie and Barbara— the Folktellers themselves!)

Rating: 5 of 5

I can't find a source for easy streaming, but the album is out there if you know where to look.

Connie Regan still performs, and two of these tracks can be found on a CD called Chilling Ghost Stories: Haunting Tales for Adults & Teens, available on her web store...
http://storywindow.com/store/

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #26: Elvira Fright Sound Tape

Title: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Fright Sound Tape
Manufacturer: Imagineering Inc.
Year: 1987
Total Runtime: 60 Min
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: No
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Creepy muffled funeral eulogy
Review: Elvira's Fright Sound Tape marks an historic team-up between two Halloween institutions in their prime. Imagineering founder, Larry Liff invented hinged vampire teeth, and produced Halloween products with some of the all-time greatest package design that feature the wonderful art of Gordon Viges (whose son once left a comment on this very blog!)

Of course Elvira needs no introduction. Thanks to her we have the only Halloween recording with a celebrity endorsement. She followed the product from inception to completion, hand-picking the individual sound effects, and providing constant input during the engineering process. Not really. But she did record a one minute introduction.

According to an article on Dinosaur Dracula, a store called McCrory's was selling the Elvira tape in 1988 for $2.99 while Topstone's Horror Sounds of the Night was a dollar less. This could be due to Elvira's licensing fee. Or maybe it's because Topstone could charge less since all of their content was stolen.

 


Fright Sound Tape comes from a line of Elvira products that also included costume accessories and makeup. Most of it looks like existing products that were rebranded with the awesome exception of Elvira's official snake earrings.




So does the tape live up to its iconic heritage? Side one has a good variety of effects that are inherently spooky; antagonists and victims as opposed to stock thunder and slamming doors. Wind is overused but it ties everything together. It's like sitting on your porch on the windiest night of the year, and all this crazy, monstrous stuff just keeps happening for a solid half hour.

The second half hour, side two, has a very different vibe. I wouldn't be surprised if it came from another source entirely.  It's dominated by a man with a distinctive laugh who occasionally says "Come here." and, "Come to the Haunted House." He gets tiresome, but there's something about his maniacal yet casual tone that draws me in. It's like he wants to kill me, but he's a little too sleepy.

Unlike side one, I recognized a lot of the effects: cats, monsters, and the "Lonesome Ghosts" scream (that I discussed in this review).  What ruins side two for me are the unrelenting bursts of reverberating noise. It sounds like bits of reel-to-reel recordings that are sped up and processed to death. It's definitely unique, but it makes me miss the constant wind from side one, and I rarely miss wind.

All in all, I think the tape is better than average, but it doesn't reflect the remarkable entities behind it. Although, as a horror hostess, Elvira can't be held accountable for the content. Her job is to present the world with the spooky fun stuff, and it's our job to have spooky fun with it.

Rating: Side one- 4 of 5, Side two- 2 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #25: Halloween Horror Tape

Title: Halloween Horror Tape
Manufacturer: Traveler Trading Co.
Year: 1987
Total Runtime: 60 Min
Repeats on both sides: ?
Stories: ?
Music: ?
Narration: ?
Distinct Audio: ?
Review: As you can see, I have this tape in its wonderful packaging. I refuse to open it, and I can't find the audio online. So if you have it, then please let me know how it is.
Rating: ?

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #24: A Spooky Night in Disney's Haunted Mansion

Title: A Spooky Night in Disney's Haunted Mansion
Manufacturer: Walt Disney Records
Year: 1998
Total Runtime: 25 Min
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: One long story
Music: "Grim Grinning Ghosts" can be heard during the story
Narration: Yes
Distinct Audio: N/A
Review:  A Spooky Night in Disney's Haunted Mansion is an adaptation of the Haunted Mansion ride as seen through the eyes of two original characters, Mike and Karen (played by Ron Howard and Robie Lester). Originally released in 1969 on LP as The Story and Song from The Haunted Mansion, Disney made the odd decision to reissue this remastered version exclusively on cassette in 1998, though the format was already passe. The CD didn't come out for another eleven years.

No matter which version, this album is a dream come true for Haunted Mansion fans, especially those disappointed that Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House (1964) has no connection to the ride. Paul Frees' original narration from the dark ride has been split into two parts on the album: the Narrator performed by the legendary Thurl Ravenscroft, and the Ghost Host voiced by Pete Reneday. I miss Frees, but I can't pretend that Reneday's Ghost Host isn't more genuinely chilling than the original. He's got a cold, morose quality that caused me to switch off the album when I was a kid hearing it for the first time. (Only to return to the self-torture soon after.)

I listened to an abridged version of the story (on a Donald Duck record called Trick or Treat) for many years before I grew the courage to experience the attraction. My intimate knowledge of the record only enhanced my first ride. It was like visiting an exotic land after studying it for a lifetime.

I can't objectively talk about A Spooky Night in Disney's Haunted Mansion. To me it is a warm, swirling stew of childhood, history, and horror.


Rating: 5 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #23: Chamber of Horrors "NEW"

Title: Chamber of Horrors "NEW"
Manufacturer: Tony (U.S.A.) Inc.
Year: 1990
Total Runtime: 25 Min
Repeats on both sides: Not exactly, but a loop repeats multiple times on both sides
Stories: No
Music: Ongoing synth music
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Attempted jump scare using a yell
Review: I've established that the 1988 release of Chamber of Horrors is insane. I like to imagine that sometime in 1989 one of the higher-ups at Tony Incorporated finally heard the tape and shouted, "THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN SELLING?!!"

He immediately discovered that nobody else in the office had ever listened to it either. A recall was ruled out after a quick cost analysis. With no other options, the decision to produce a new tape was finalized.
Once an emergency assembly had gathered, the board demanded to meet with the man responsible for the 1988 edition. The product development manager stood before his colleagues, shouting on the phone,
"What do you mean he's not here?! When will he be back?
...
Defeated, he announced to the room,
"They said he was fired last year because he failed his drug test."
______

The 1990 version of Chamber of Horrors is a commendable effort that effectively paves over the past sins of the company. The effects sound fresh, the production value is good, and there's decent aural variety. A lot of attention was given to the music. What I assume to be an original score, gives Chamber of Horrors (1990) a distinctive voice in the Halloween tape pantheon. Most importantly, its existence demonstrates a message that we need to hear today: rational thinking, truth and love can triumph over chaos, and the mistakes of the past.

Rating: 4 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE #22: Sounds of Halloween

Title: Sounds of Halloween
Manufacturer: Madacy Entertainment
Year: 1994
Total Runtime: 1 Hour
Repeats on both sides: Yes
Stories: No
Music: Opening theme (the same library music from the 1950s that appears on Night in a Graveyard) and some other ambient music throughout
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Backward music and effects
Review: All this reviewing makes me think about music critics. The blight of their job is all the unoriginal material they have to sift through. But imagine if they had to review albums that are literally two or three existing records spliced together. Okay, you could argue that this happens all the time with so much sampling going on, and mashup artists like Avalanches, Danger Mouse, and Girl Talk. Then imagine reviewing five different albums with five different titles that are all exactly the same recording. Sounds of Halloween is a mix of two or three records slapped together, and it's been released under at least five different titles.

About half of the effects can be heard on Night in a Graveyard, and the rest sounds like Scary Sounds of Halloween.  Who knows if Sounds of Halloween stole the material straight off of those records, or if they stole from the same records that those stole from.

The audio has been repackaged numerous times according to the Scary Sounds of Halloween blog.
These are all the same album...



Speaking of unoriginal content, I've yet to talk about the "Lonesome Ghosts" scream sequence that shows up on about forty percent of all my Halloween albums. The ghostly yawn can be heard at the beginning of Disney's 1937 animated short, and it was featured on the track Screams and Groans from Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House preceded by some shrieks. Knowing Disney's reputation for legally protecting their content, it's surprising that the sound has been used so much. Further proof that nobody pays attention to what's actually on Halloween records.

Sounds of Halloween is still making Halloween memories thanks to a YouTube video (see below) that's received nearly a million views since 2011. It's unavoidable. It's like the standard government issue of Halloween records.

It obviously gets the job done year after year, but in my eyes Sounds of Halloween has no honor.

Rating: 2 of 5