October 20, 2006
HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #12+
Place of Origin: Hong Kong
Rib Count: 32 (between the two of them)
Celebrity Look-alike: Homer Simpson
Description: Witness a portrait of two skeletal kinfolk who belong to a family of millions. Their oldest sibling was born near half a century ago while the youngest was probably born about 10 seconds ago and currently travels along a warm conveyor belt amid a series of industrial machines. As you study the photo above, do you detect a hint of rivalry in their body language? I do.
Though the left brother is honorably "mint in bag," close examination reveals that his body is less detailed and is plagued with the dreaded flaps of excess plastic. He's an umpteenth generation facsimile who bitterly resents his counterpart's purer lineage. He does his best to act disinterested as his emancipated brother recounts tales of glorious Halloween parties of yesteryear and madcap Trick or Treating shenanigans, but his heart (so to speak) is covetous.
And yet the brother on the right is all the while envious of his uncirculated kin. For his rival displays an unflinching pride in his personal identity as well as his homeland. Plus, an incidental benefit of his "header card" is that it almost fully obscures his "hangin' loop." (the loose brother is secretly shameful of his own.) His virgin brother has never known the taste of dust or the stench of dried Halloween mask sweat. These thoughts leave him stewing in his own jealously.
So they both exist.. unhappy in their own skin, (so to speak) so they live (so to speak) under a self-imposed curse of discontentment. You see it coming so do I have to say it?... Don't be like the skeletons.
Additional Info: These two have been separated all of their lives (so to speak) until just a couple weeks ago when one (formerly a Missouri resident) caught wind of the greatest skeleton gathering of all time, prompting him to say goodbye to his many friends and climb into a stamped envelope. In total darkness he travelled on a series of trucks until he reached the Natural State (a.k.a. Arkansas). He emerged to see his long lost brother and at least thirty-one new bony buddies. Who was the skeleton's original owner? None other than Todd from the Neatocoolville blog. And that's the rest of the story. (Thanks Todd- the skeleton is neato and you are cool! um, ville.)
Cause of Death: Suffocation/Polluted air