GOTTLIEB HAUNTED DESKTOP

As a kid, I constantly longed to be wherever video games were, be it the lobby of the grocery store, the local arcade, or ideally, gamer havens like Showbiz Pizza. Even after my supply of quarters was diminished I didn't want to leave the comfort of those warm, buzzing monolith-like machines. I often found myself among them with nothing to do but study their demo screens and cabinet art (and finger the little garage-like coin return slots for stray quarters.)

One of the most inviting, most intriguing images I ever encountered among those electronic wonders was the backglass for Gottieb's 1982 masterwork of pinball, Haunted House. Its stunning rendition of the classic Victorian haunted abode was illustrated by Terry Doerzaph (who also did cabinet graphics for Q*bert). The typeface is gorgeous, the color choices are unexpected, and the entire piece has a flawless quality. And how amazing is that cluster of floating skulls in the window? The answer is very.

I was recently overjoyed to find a beautiful, high-res scan of the art on this site. Of course my first move was to use it as desktop wallpaper. I started with the entire thing (as seen above) and later I cropped it for a closer view (see below). I invite you to click on either of the images (for larger versions) and grab it as well. It's such a welcoming sight every time I sit down for some good ol' computing.

More images of the machine are here and here. See also this screenprint by Sam Chivers inspired by the piece.

CRAZY 4 CULT 3-D

Awesome illustration by Dave Perillo

One big reason it's been so quiet around here this month is that I've been hard workin' on a new set of cult film family portraits for this year's Crazy 4 Cult show! I'll reveal the set right here in conjunction with the show's opening on July 16th. I'm also happy to report that prints of one of my pieces from last year, The Torrances, are currently in production thanks to Gallery 1988. Naturally I'll post more on that as soon as they're ready. In the meantime I must...keep...drawing...

THE SIGNTIST

This is impossibly cool– Secret Fun Blog reader Kevin Anetsberger has lovingly translated some vintage signage that has previously appeared on this blog into its pure, beautiful, vectorized form.

The pizza-approving gentlemen seen above came from a photo from my trip to Pizza Parlour in Fort Smith, Arkansas....


Kevin also adapted their amazing logo...



Wow, it's such a joy to see those letters dance on the screen.

Additionaly, he immortalized the type from this doomed sign for a local strip mall...



Ahhhhhh, just the sight of those pristine characters takes me to design-geek nirvana. His timing couldn't be better because the original sign was sadly replaced with a heinous revision just this month. But thanks to Kevin it shall be preserved for generations of web surfers.

Mr. Anetsberger also serves the world by offering vintage record albums on his blog and retouching album artwork for Kiddie Records Weekly.

Thanks Kevin for restoring these obscure masterworks of typhography to their full glory!

COLLECT ALL 21!

I'd like to point out Collect All 21!- Memoirs of a Star Wars Geek by John Booth for two reasons. One is to simply show off the cover that I re-designed for it. When I saw his original cover I was instantly enamored by his decision to cleverly utilize the classic Kenner proof of purchase as a design element. It's a brilliant move because it serves as a litmus test of its potential readers. Put simply, if you recognize it then the book is for you.

These little discs were printed on the blister cards of each Star Wars action figure, and they proved more valuable than money to Star Wars-collecting kids because a pile of them could be exchanged for exclusive mail away offers. (One of which granted early access to the infamous fan favorite, Boba Fett.) If you're not among the book's target audience it's just a blue and white circle containing some wonky font choices. But even in that case, the image hints at an appropriate planet-like orb.

More important than all that is the fact that this book is highly entertaining and well written. And here's the truly amazing thing about it— it's full of all of your own memories. Really! I spend half the time reading, and the other half experiencing long-forgotten Star Wars flashbacks. It has sent pulses into my brain that are reawakening moments and stories that have been dormant for decades. And when you enjoy visiting the past as often as I do, that's no small feat. As an added bonus, in many cases these thoughts are triggering non-Lucasfilm related retrospection too. A few pages can send me into a warm bath of childhood wonder.

So if you've ever used scissors on your Star Wars toy packaging then you may just want to order yourself a copy.

SECRET FUN INTERVIEW

Me (at age 4) and my uncle Cliff after a successful trip to the Disney World magic shop.

To celebrate the induction of my Life of the Party book into the Archie McPhee catalog, I did an interview for their Slightly Less Disappointing Blog. In it, I trace my obsession with toy and prank collecting back to its origins and I plot my infiltration of the S.S. Adams company.

If you care to hear me ramble on about some of the most pointless aspects of life on yet another site then definitely check it out!

PARTY AT ARCHIE'S!

There are two reasons why I'm very excited...

1. Life of the Party, the visual history book I created for S.S. Adams Prank and Magic company, is now available at Archie McPhee! If you're wondering, McPhee is the name of one of the greatest novelty outlets on this particular planet. They preserve the heritage of our nation's novelty biz while advancing it further all at once. So I'm thrilled to know my book is residing in the same room as the Mighty Monkey and the Frogmen versus the Radioactive Octopus set.

2. They are selling the book at its lowest price ever! Since it came out three years ago it's never gone for less than forty-five bucks— but now it's $23.95!
This means that you no longer have to be magician David Copperfield to own this book!

See what J.J. Abrams was clamoring about in this months Wired Magazine!
Order your copy today! Bring Life of the Party to a party and become the life of the party. Make life a party! Now you too can literally bring extra life to any party. Get more out of life and parties! (Hey, I'm like one of those Ad Wizards!)

APRIL OF FOOLS: FAKE PUKE

The inevitable conclusion to a solid month of gags.

I hope you enjoyed the binge!

APRIL OF FOOLS: FAKE MEAT

Who knew that "rollschinken" was German for "rolled ham?" And who knew that "imitation" was German for "imitation?"

See, pranks can make you more smarter.

APRIL OF FOOLS: FAKE FOOD

"See the dismay and then the joyous discovery that it's only a joke!"
So to prank someone is to ultimately bring them joy. This is the sort of rationale that saves us pranksters from a magnitude of guilt.

APRIL OF FOOLS: HAND BUZZER

Potentially the most socially damaging gag known to man.

APRIL OF FOOLS: SQUIRT CIGAR

Observations on the Trick Squirt Cigar...

-The header card depicts a real cigar. (An effort to remind the consumer how cigars are traditionally used?)

-The illustrated smoke is disrupted by the pricing circle. (This is sort of awesome.)

-Its capability to deceive is nonexistent. There are only two possible scenarios:
1. A kid with a cigar in his mouth (chance of deception= 0%)
2. An adult with an unlit piece of plastic awkwardly positioned between his teeth, trying to look natural as he awaits the moment when he can finally bite down and expel the liquid. (chance of deception= 0%)

Maybe that's why it comes in a two-pack.

APRIL OF FOOLS: THE OUT-HOUSE

There are two basic types of pranks. There's the kind that attempts to seamlessly blend in with the environment, then there's the kind that lures its potential victims with that which is purely unusual. Unfortunately, the latter creates a world laden with small plastic outhouses populated by urinating simpletons.

APRIL OF FOOLS: TRICK FLIES

APRIL OF FOOLS: BANG GUN

I purchased this classic Bang Gun during my one and only visit to the M. Gordon Novelty shop in Manhattan. Sadly, it is now among the many dearly departed retailers of its kind.

Photo by Runs With Scissors

When I first approached the building a black and white Wolfman poster hanging in a window high above the entrance assured me that I had arrived at the best possible place.

The feeling I got when I walked in is difficult to put into words. The air inside was different. The sense of history and mystery was intensely palpable. Beyond the front door there was a vinyl rope blocking the passage to the cramped shop floor. I stood behind it confused until the clerk nodded me in. I still don't get it. Is this some big city technique? Does it deter shoplifting? Or does it simply contain the mystical forces inside the shop?

One of the walls was lined with hinged panels that you could flip through, you know, like the ones that display posters. Only these were smaller and ancient, and they were brimming with gags that had been stapled on haphazardly. And they were really old ones. I immediately inquired about a couple of the most exciting items- a rubber monster and a pack of fake cigarettes.

"We don't sell those anymore."

"What about the giant squirting flower?"

"Naw."

Again I was confused, yet quite thankful that they were doing the world the service of publicly displaying these joke relics. However, my gratitude couldn't cover the pain I felt in my gut as I perused the unobtainable items.

"Do you sell the gun with the flag?"

"Um, yeah. I think I've got some of those."

Forever later the guy emerged from the back with my pistol.

Ah, "the back." The mere thought of the back of M. Gordon Novelty sends bittersweet waves over me. It really existed. With a front like that, what must the back have been like? There must have been corners and crevices and buried boxes that hadn't been cracked open for decades. Judging from the layout of the building, it had to be ten times the size of the front. It must have been a wonderland.

As I continued to browse it became obvious that the clerk was in the process of doing inventory. He was not the glimmer-eyed little old man I might have hoped for, rather he was an oafish, no-nonsense loudmouth who didn't seem too keen on offering his service to the customers.

"Ya got any more monocles back there?!"
he yelled to an invisible co-worker.

"WHAT?"
he shouted as he left his perch annoyed. He returned with a huge box of costume monocles. He plopped them down, picked up a clipboard and seemed to struggle to incorporate the find into his existing monocle calculation.

I will always savor the moment when he finally looked up from his note pad. His face was flushed and he appeared genuinely perplexed as he calmly spoke with his heavy Brooklyn accent to nobody in particular,

"Jeeeeeeez. We showa do have a LOT of monocles."

APRIL OF FOOLS: SQUIRT CAMERA

J.J. ABRAMS, S.S. ADAMS, WIRED MAGAZINE AND ME

The latest issue of Wired Magazine is fantastic.

Okay, 47% of my motivation for saying that is because J.J. Abrams happened to mention my design work and my S.S. Adams book in this month's Wired Playlist!

But the other 53% of my intent is purely inspired by the fact that this issue is phenomenal. Unexplained phenomenon that is. Abrams guest edited the whole thing, and he's managed to create something abnormal– which is to say, something not normally found on the magazine rack. First off, the entire issue is a puzzle. But for those of us lacking that sort of mind power there's stuff about Art Bell, Mystery Spots, secret codes, magic tricks, a Chris Ware comic, and a great essay penned by J.J. regarding the nature of Spoilers. The cover features Abrams' gorgeous Mystery Box as discussed in his TED talk. They even let him hijack the logo with a wonderful vintage-inspired typeface. Or is it hand-lettered? Another mystery.

Thanks again for the magic Mr. Abrams.

APRIL OF FOOLS: FAKE GORE

It's okay if you need to vomit.

APRIL OF FOOLS: FLOOR PENNY (WITH BONUS WORM!)

The Floor Penny alone just wasn't doing it for me. Then it occurred to me to add the Worm to this post. Ah, sweet perfection. You've done it again Demarais.

APRIL OF FOOLS: BROKEN GLASS

The Window Smashers are a set of four pieces of sheet metal that sound surprisingly similar to shattering glass when dropped.

The Cracked TV Tube is a decal that looks nothing like a crack in a TV tube.

Don't trust the floating pixie head, as it will lead you astray half of the time.

APRIL OF FOOLS: BLACK EYE TUBE

Here's a great way to hinder promiscuity before it even has a chance to develop. Just leave this tube out where a curious young man will find it. The tube says...

"Photo view of artists models. For men only. For best view hold close to the eye and revolve slowly."

Wait for the guilty pleasure-seeker to come along and really stain up his eye socket. When the moment is right, go ahead and emerge from your hiding place as you loudly inquire "What are you trying to see, huh?" (It's even more effective if the boy's mother is in tow.) For best results bring in a young girl (as seen in photo) to reveal to the victim that he's dirtied his face (not to mention his heart). Congratulations, you've just made a public shaming! The effect will last for decades. Even as an adult this fellow will grow uneasy during Three's Company reruns.