October 01, 2006


Welcome to the official Secret Fun Blog Halloween countdown 2006! We'll be showcasing the top 31 rubber and plastic skeletons in the nation during the entire month of October. Let's get on with the countdown shall we? Just barely charting at number 31 it's... this skeleton!

Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Vending machine
Rib Count: At least 26
Celebrity Look-alike: That man who set the worlds record for smoking the most cigarettes at once.
Description: We're really starting at the bottom here as this specimen is, in a word: deplorable. It's hard to know where to begin to criticize this disaster. For one, it scarcely occupies all three dimensions with it's flat, unrendered backside. The legs will eternally bend to one direction. The hands look like veiny sunflower seeds and the feet resemble misshapen polo mallets. But the totally inexcusable feature has got to be its mouthful of senseless protrusions. Were these somehow necessary to the manufacturing process? I have thirty more skeletons that prove otherwise. What, are you supposed to use him as a rubber toothbrush? I'm going to be sick.
Additional Info: I can't remember exactly how I wound up with this wreck, but it's crook suggests a great deal of time in a vending capsule. I've always found this trinket hard to look at, but its sheer skeleton-ness has saved it from the rubbish heap.
Cause of Death: Embarrassment
Rating: 2.6


HarveyMidnight said...

"I can't remember exactly how I wound up with this wreck, but it's crook suggests a great deal of time in a vending capsule.".

Maybe this one was the last of its kind still in the vending machine-- and you really wanted the next item that was right behind it?

Das Brick said...

This is going to be the best Halloween ever! I can't wait to find out what tomorrow will bring!!

Travis said...

I've searched high & low on the net for a copy of that cigarette-smoking guy from the Guiness Books I used to covet when I was a kid. A few photos stood out as iconic for me, like the cigarette guy, the fattest twins on their motorcycles, and the small waist lady.

I noticed this poor chap also has no identifable elbows. Just sinewy strands of what could only be muscle tissue- quite astonishing for a skeleton. Lucky for him, his arms seem to be attached to his hips.

gentle_dissident said...

yes, i have owned one of the best rubber skeletons ever made! i have a pic to prove it. i'll let you know when you feature it

Todd Franklin said...

Comedians have their rubber chickens, but us monster fans have our rubber skeletons! Can’t wait to see them all!

chuckbaris said...

pretty embarrasing

Kirk D. said...

harvey- I like your theory!

das- tomorrow brings another skeleton. how comforting.

travis- funny, I had difficulty finding a pic of him too. What does it all mean?

gentle- I'll have to see how your best skeleton compares to my best skeleton.
may the best skeleton win.

todd- hmmm. there should be a war between the rubber chickens and skeletons. I'd like to see that.

chuck- yes