October 01, 2006
HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #31
Welcome to the official Secret Fun Blog Halloween countdown 2006! We'll be showcasing the top 31 rubber and plastic skeletons in the nation during the entire month of October. Let's get on with the countdown shall we? Just barely charting at number 31 it's... this skeleton!
Place of Origin: Vending machine
Rib Count: At least 26
Celebrity Look-alike: That man who set the worlds record for smoking the most cigarettes at once.
Description: We're really starting at the bottom here as this specimen is, in a word: deplorable. It's hard to know where to begin to criticize this disaster. For one, it scarcely occupies all three dimensions with it's flat, unrendered backside. The legs will eternally bend to one direction. The hands look like veiny sunflower seeds and the feet resemble misshapen polo mallets. But the totally inexcusable feature has got to be its mouthful of senseless protrusions. Were these somehow necessary to the manufacturing process? I have thirty more skeletons that prove otherwise. What, are you supposed to use him as a rubber toothbrush? I'm going to be sick.
Additional Info: I can't remember exactly how I wound up with this wreck, but it's crook suggests a great deal of time in a vending capsule. I've always found this trinket hard to look at, but its sheer skeleton-ness has saved it from the rubbish heap.
Cause of Death: Embarrassment