October 09, 2006


Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Box of Cap'n Crunch
Rib Count: 12
Celebrity Look-alike: Take your pick of the famous pirates with one eye and one leg.
Description: This skeleton taught me a valuable life lesson. The year was 1998, and the world was naive.. stupid even. Geri Halliwell shocked civilization when she announced her departure from the Spice Girls, optimistic Star Wars fans waited hours as the first Episode I trailer downloaded on dial-up internet, and President Clinton answered the age old question.. "What would happen if an Arkansan took the oval office?"

I'd been hearing a term thrown around the toy shows.. "bla bla bla sold it on ebay." And as fate would have it, a position I'd recently accepted came with fresh internet access and a personal email account. Soon I found this so-called ebay and I put it to the test. Suddenly dozens of my various collections were reaching completion, materialistic childhood dreams were coming true left and right, and I even obtained my holy grail.. the Weebles Haunted House (see future post.)

One day I was scanning my brain for lost relics of my youth when I remembered one of my favorite cereal prizes of all time... that's right, a glow-in-the-dark, snap-together skeleton puzzle that came out of Cap'n Crunch. I typed in a few keywords and like magic, an auction popped up.. "Cap'n Crunch Premium/Prize Glow Pirate Skeleton Puzzle." There was nothing that my new powers could not accomplish. I bid. I won. And then in the longstanding tradition of mail order goods I became confused when I received an envelope instead of a box (see also Life-Size Frankenstein, or 101 Toy Soldiers.) Here's what I got...

There was no false advertising about it. This was a Cap'n Crunch Premium/Prize Glow Pirate Skeleton Puzzle indeed. If you turn out the lights you see a pirate skeleton standing in that blank doorway. Why wasn't this discrepancy obvious to me from the picture? There was no picture. As you may recall, in the early days any photos on ebay were extremely rare. Users who could accomplish such a feat were looked upon with great awe. At the time, I thought that plucking an image out of reality and getting it onto a computer monitor was only possible with the aid of one of those lasers from Tron. In fact, I considered such an ability to be of the "black arts." Well, the seller was not to blame and I clearly had no choice but to accept the item. Thus was my first in a continuing series of "ebay wounds."

A couple years later fate stepped in once again and while attending a then-endangered Toy Show I saw the elusive prize, the 'real' one, Mint In Package in a glass display case for a mere two bucks. And that's the story behind skeleton #23. So what valuable lesson did I learn? Neither the cardboard skeleton puzzle nor the plastic one was capable of putting an end to all of life's problems.
Additional Info: "Great transaction...fast payment...highly recommended...A+++"
Cause of Death: Scurvy
Rating: 7.7


Jason said...

This whole series has been fantastic -- your obsessive qualities are to be highly commended sir.

Rozum said...

Another life lesson about the internet, is that it exposes you to things that you didn't know you had to have, such as this cool pirate skeleton.

Off to ebay, now...

chuckbaris said...

Do they still have that toy show up at the expo center in tulsa? I remember only going twice, the first time was amazing, the second one not so much. I would like to go to more, is there a website or something that I can check the status on these things?

Kevin P. Edgecomb said...

Arrr! I was hoping to see this one in your list. I've got two of him (one missing the befooted leg), plucked from the boxes of Cap'n Crunch by my own youthful hands so long ago.

Todd Franklin said...

I'm not sure you can top this skeleton and he's my favorite of the bunch so far.

The one from my childhood was confiscated by my 6th Grade teacher. A friend and I got in trouble since were laughing and making the pirate do silly things during study time. So unfortunately the pirate skeleton was taken prisoner and never returned!

Kirk D. said...

Jason- Ha! ha! I thank you deeply.

Rozum- Maybe if you're nice to kevin he'll sell you his one legged version. :)

chuck- You can check here...
I haven't known tham to have a toy show proper in a while.

kevin- you are rich in Cap'N Crunch skeletons! I can't imagine owning two of these. Well, that's not true I just did.

Todd- considering your memory related to this guy I probably won't be able to
do any better in your eyes. Darn that teacher! I'll bet he or she is playing with your skeleton (secretly behind their teacher's desk) right now!

Kevin P. Edgecomb said...

Another one I have from the same series is kind of a skeletonesque bird or pterodactyl or something like that. It's in the same flat style. That and my one-legged pirate are hanging from a mobile of childhood goodies (some special shells, rocks, game pieces, etc) I made. Groovy!

Kirk D. said...

kevin, that bird rings a bell. Man you must have eaten a lot of Cap'N crunch.
How cool that you made it into a lasting piece of art!

1992 said...

This is interesting how you said it came from a box of Capin Crunch. I had this skeleton and I loved it! I expecially enjoyed how it would "animate" when you would jiggle it up and down. Just this past xmas my mother bought me a box of Christmas Crunch as a joke. She claims I loved Capin Crunch as a kid but I don't remember this at all. Now you mention that that pirat skeleton came from Capin Crunch.. Well that explains that mystery.

Kirk D. said...

Once again the skeleton countdown solves one of life's great mysteries.