April 01, 2009


In these modern times of ours lapel flowers seem to be limited to wedding boutonnières and the occasional boxcar hobo attempting to present himself as being "good natured." And yet the old squirting flower is still in production to this day.

One wonders how this gag can remain in the pranksters vernacular despite being almost entirely obsolete. The answer is children. There are three primary factors that can enable this classic ruse to work in the hands of a kid...

Stupid Kids- The elementary schools are full of suckers who don't think twice when their classmate declares his decision to wear a plastic rose on his winter coat. A rose with a protruding rubber tube traveling down into his front pocket. These kids should consider the blast of tap water into their nostrils a valuable life lesson.

Pity- Parents and even grandparents have been known to willingly put their faces in front of these water cannons as some sort of act of tenderness. Then with a dripping smile they say something like. "Oooh, did Johnny play a trick on Grandma? Would you like to do it again?"

Speed- There exists a crop of youngsters among the squirting flower set who choose to toss aside subtle deception in favor of swiftly lunging at their victims and emptying the contents of the flower before a single word can be spoken.

What? You say two of the photos are Snake Flowers? Well that's a shame because this post is already over.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"the smeller will get a shower"