April 09, 2009
APRIL OF FOOLS: MERRY WIDOW HANKY
My hypothesis: Merry Widow Hanky possesses one of the lowest success rates in the history of commercial pranking. Not in sales, but in the number of times that it's been successfully executed.
The gag's functionality is entirely dependent upon a lengthy list of factors...
1. You must be in an environment where a jacket is appropriate.
2. The ruffles on your handkerchief must be noticed.
3. The ruffles must be noticed by a woman. ( If another male gets a look, you're in for years of ribbing and nicknames from your fellow lodge members.)
4. The ruffles must be perceived as a questionable and uncharacteristic fashion decision.
And here's the big one...
5. The "victim" must be so aghast at the sight that they choose to grab it from your coat pocket. The reaction mustn't be a point and laugh, or a friendly nudge, or a curious touch— they must feel compelled to just yank it out of there.
6. After the grab, the "victim" must examine the item.
7. Upon examination, they must recognize that the hanky is a replica of ladies underwear.
Oh, and most importantly...
8. The year must be 1954.
Now imagine that all of those elements were to somehow align due to some cosmic anomaly. Once the pathetic trap is sprung, the payoff is minuscule.
Is the sight of miniature knickers enough to merit a blush?
More likely, you have just given everyone in the room the impression that you've been toting around a tiny pair of baby doll panties.