April 16, 2009
APRIL OF FOOLS: JUMPING CANDY
Are you a portly bald man who's fed up with the office tease? Let's face it, you don't stand a chance with her. So why not return a portion of the suffering that this insensitive broad has caused, all while earning the esteem of others at her expense? Don't worry, the act will be entirely socially acceptable– celebrated even.
The moment that piece of "candy" leaps from her sweaty paws maybe she'll finally begin to understand what it's like to have a tempting delight dangled before you, only to watch it spring out of your grasp right when you think it's yours for the savoring. And as the roar of laughter fills the room, and as your victim begins to shrink, you can take a step back with a grin and whisper to yourself "All of this is my doing."
"Can be used over and over." Perfect. Because there are so many others who require the same lesson. And you are just the man to teach it. Have fun!