"PAPERCRAFT" MINI FREAKIES BOX

Here's an idea.. print, cut out, and put together a "papercraft" version of the mini Freakies cereal box shown above. Povided below is all you need to make a scale replica of an empty box that was originally included in a set of miniature toy food from the 1980s. Oddly enough, these sets were sold years after Freakies were made unavailable.

You can get the flattened box by clicking the thumbnail image above, or right click and "save as.." on this link. Don't forget to print it out at 'high" quality. And it's best if you use a heavier paper stock. (Also, it may be unclear that you must cut a slit to the left of the "wearables" order form. This is where you slide the tab that is located to the right of the prizes.) Update: I uploaded a new image file that has more accurate color compared to the real box.

What's that? You say you want to hear the story behind the box this was scanned from, and the way it relates to my life? Well, Ok...

Freakies is my favorite cereal in the history of the world. Oh, not because they tasted good, but for the graphics and the characters on the box. As a tyke I admired those funny, little, monstery oddballs and wished to visit their tree hangout under blue skies. Believe it or not, my young mind even appreciated the friendly yellow typeface. The entire box was a work of art. And the prizes were simply the best. They were Freakie-themed as opposed to some generic toy, or a heartless movie promotion. Premiums like the Freakie cars, boats, and figures had play-value that lasted months, or even years after the cereal had been devoured. And how many cereals offered six distinctly different prizes at once?

I was still pretty young when the cherished cereal was discontinued. I missed it, and as I entered middle childhood I continued to talk about it, but none of my friends could remember Freakies. As the years passed I actually started to question whether they ever existed. With no remaining evidence, and nobody to validate my memories I wondered if they were something I had imagined or encountered in a dream.

One day my younger sister and her friend were taking part in an annoyingly loud session of 'play kitchen' while I was trying to watch my after school television lineup. As usual, I aggressively intervened and expressed my irritation. At once I was distracted by a tiny Freakies box no more than two inches high! I struggled to hide my interest, knowing that if the girls sensed my weakness for the item, it would be exploited. It required all the control I could muster, but I successfully appeared unaware of the treasure. I anxiously waited for their game to fizzle, and after they had moved on to the next imaginary realm I had some precious one-on-one time with the box. Not only was it a glorious memento of Saturday mornings past, but it was proof that my sucker friends couldn't remember themselves out of a paper bag.

I immediately constructed my plot to own the box. It involved a 'cooling off' period that allowed my sister to lose interest, followed by a bargain. I don't recall what I swapped for the prize, but I'm sure it was something ridiculously stupid and meaningless which was either immediately eaten or quickly cast aside by my sis. To the contrary, I walked away with the sweetest of spoils.. a trophy which I would preserve for decades. And now with the aid of the internet my master plan will come to fruition as I unleash the box and watch it multiply throughout the world. Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!