AMAZING MONSTER MAZES

I may have failed at getting a daily Halloween countdown together this year, but to me this is as good as a whole spooky months worth of posts because of the personal triumph it represents. After more than two decades of want, this weekend I've reclaimed the book Amazing Monster Mazes (1977, Hallmark) as my own.

It started in October of '77 when mom and I made a routine visit to the downtown Bible Book Store. Beyond the expected Bibles and books, the store carried a wondrous assortment of novelty gifts, jigsaw puzzles, chick tracts, posters, and endless bins of plastic trinkets intended as Sunday School rewards. The floor boasted a thick, green shag carpet perfect for plopping down upon, so as to examine their wares at length. They were also the most extensive Hallmark dealership in our little town, so once a year the whole place turned orange and black with the brand new line of Hallmark Halloween offerings. (Mind you, this was before American church culture mysteriously and collectively turned on Halloween a decade or so later.) Having deliberated over all of my possible purchases— greeting cards, wall decorations, centerpieces and party favors, it was a booklet that ultimately won my fancy.

(all pictures super size when clicked)

The 24 page volume is indeed a maze book, but to me it functioned more like a text book considering the hours of daily study I invested in its pages. In my pre-Where's Waldo world, few of my kiddie books served up this kind of detail, and I devoured it. I questioned the motives of every beast and I was frightfully intrigued by the consequences that met any careless maze traveler. I grew genuinely chilled at the thought of accidentally wandering into an open grave, or unintentionally awaking a sleeping ghoul.



One of my few memories of preschool is submitting this book when it was my turn to pick out the story to be read aloud in class. All morning I'd been anticipating the moment my teacher would share the mysteries of the monster mazes to my classmates, undoubtedly earning me their pure gratitude. I sat grinning as my teacher held it up and read the title. But then she hesitated and flipped through the book before announcing that maze books were unreadable. This sent me into an uncharacteristic outburst of tears, and I fled the room.
Later, after I'd choked down the replacement story with a damp face and raw eyes, the instructor took pity on me and revisited Monster Mazes, doing her best to describe each maze as cross legged students squinted to see the pictures. Her gracious actions had a healing effect.




The book fell apart, yet remained a favorite of mine for a number of years. And then it vanished. There are family theories surrounding its fate, the most plausible being a box of books that were unintentionally sold in a garage sale. No matter, it was gone; and I actively missed the booklet throughout my remaining childhood.



When I discovered ebay in 1998, recovering this treasure was among my first intentions. But its rarity (it was purely ephemeral, meant to be a value add crammed behind a greeting card, and discarded at seasons end), and the fact that I didn't know the official title (I always just called it my monster maze book, and there are tons of monster maze books) delayed my crusade. Until now.




Recently, a series of book related memories triggered me to scour ebay once again. When I saw that forgotten cover pop up (the very last entry of the last page of results, of course) I made an involuntary guttural sound and my heart started to pound. Four Buy-it-now dollars (plus shipping), and a week later it showed up in my mailbox.




So now that I posses it once again, what have I learned?
-It's still fantastic. The illustrations have aged extremely well, and it has lost none of its appeal in my eyes.
-Though they are uncredited on the cover, the book is written by Edward Cunningham, designed by Rick Cusick, and masterfully Illustrated by Tim Kirk. I've learned that Mr. Kirk started as a Hugo award winning fan artist...


...and after a seven year stint at Hallmark he became a Disney Imagineer.

-I've also learned that the imagery from this book never stopped rattling around my subconscious, and has influenced me artistically. Case in point: an illustration that I did right after college...


My (inferior) piece not only echoes the detail and scope of Monster Mazes, but it shares similar elements such as the starry sky, the hilly skyline, and the haunted house with the following maze (which happens to be my favorite)...

Notice how the placement of my rollercoaster echos the maze's path.  I drew a road leading into a cop's mouth while the original features a road running into the jaws of a monster mountain.

The tell tale orange cyclops cinches my theory...

Also note the vehicles near both of them.

And later when I translated the drawing into a Flash animation I even shuffled the cyclops into the upper left corner where he belongs...


I did the initial drawing at least 15 years after my last contact with Monster Mazes and I hadn't recalled Mr. Kirk's one-eyed creature until I saw it again yesterday. It's as though my mind was desperately trying to recreate the missing book without my knowledge. Awesome.

VIEW FROM THE ROAD

Here are a handful of roadside sights that I witnessed over the past year; most of which were snapped on semi-local day trips...

Springdale, AR

This is one of those signs I've passed a thousand times, and every time I think, "I need to take a picture of that." Now that I've invested the 30 seconds that it took to pull in and snap the thing, I must say that I feel surprisingly accomplished.

Van Buren, AR

I cupped my eyes and peered through the glass to see what sad fate had befallen upon Emmert's Domino Room and so help me, I witnessed a room of old men crowded around tables, playing dominoes on a Thursday morning. It seems that our world is not entirely broken.

A monument to tragic decision making, the outcome of which is an off-the-strip freestanding Segway rental shop amid Branson, Missouri. I'm guessing investors figured that the Segway would provide a welcome alternative to gridlocked highway 76. In reality the majority of Branson tourists seem to prefer to "feel the excitement" from the comfort of a Golden Years tour bus.

Another Branson venture gone awry. The angular rock structure set against the treelined hillside is quite appealing to me. Are we to assume the musical ducks swam in the silver fountain? Now I'm sort of wishing I'd stayed there and found out.


When booking a room at the Branson Welk Resort (as in Lawrence Welk), one might expect to be greeted with lavish interiors bathed in thousands of bubbles. Well, I did and I was sorely disappointed. I've seen more glamorous Best Westerns, no exhaggeration. They really missed out on some major decorating opportunities. One of the few measly attempts at Welk-ness is the statue seen above.
However, I will give kudos to the staff for not batting an eye when we requested clubs, balls, and scorecards at 3 AM for use on their on-campus miniature golf course.
(And I was thinking the same thing, but no, the statue does not come to life in the middle of the night.)


Tulsa, Oklahoma is still a good town for the modern roadside enthusiast. Thanks to the oil industry, it seems to be one of the few places in the Midwest that had enough cash to really boom in the mid nineteen hundreds, and a good deal of mid-century aesthetic remains. Plus, old Route 66 runs directly through the city. The famous Blue Whale (above) of nearby Catoosa is a worthy landmark of the Mother Road and it's very well kept and totally free. Swimming is no longer allowed (note the slide going out the side), but it's a great place for a picnic.


The giant Golden Driller guards the fairgrounds which is appropriate being that it is the most valuable part of Tulsa. (okay, to me anyway.)


Miss Jackson's of Utica Square is the only thing on earth that makes me actually wish I were a rich older lady. Petty's Fine Foods, located on the same block, is where I would shop for cold cuts for my weekly Bridge club. Visit during December for pure retro Christmas magic.

Another Tulsan beauty.

More lovely googie signage in Huntsville, Arkansas.

And skipping all the way to San Diego, California we find this hodge podge of a sign that I liked looking at.


Dear Joy Motel of Eureka Springs, Arkansas: please never change. Seriously, don't.

Also in Eureka Springs we find the grand Crescent Hotel, ablaze in the afternoon sun. Those tree shadows on the wall are so great.


Well, I think I've definitely proven one thing: if you take a picture it really does last you longer.

MAGICAL WALLPAPER

Computers are sort of like magicians' top hats, capable of producing magical wonders galore. Aren't they? Sort of? If you agree with this statement, then it makes perfect sense to put this magic themed desktop wallpaper to use. Click on the above image to grab the widescreen 1600 x 1000 version, or see below for 1024 x 768. Ta-da!

PROUD OF MY CAR HOLE

Just showing off the new paint job on my workbench and storage area in my garage. As long as we've owned the place the entire thing has been coated with a displeasing red brick-like color (which can still be seen on the door at the top). My friend Jon and I utilized leftover paint from a half dozen other projects and ended up with what you see here. I was happy that it turned out so fun and even a bit mid-century-ish.


As you may have noticed, it's also a haven for my ancient electronics. I think that every garage could use a beat up old radio, a tv that picks up two channels (at least until everything goes digital next year), and a turntable for playing flea market LPs. So I've got the cool workspace; now I just need to learn how to fix something.

CRAZY 4 CULT 2: OPENING NIGHT

Reality finally set in again when I arrived home to discover that lightning had struck my computer. Oh, wait, that should have been the last line of this post. Well, at least it explains why I've been silent for so many weeks, and why I'm wallowing in old news here. But I'm back on the grid now, and it's high time for some hardcore blogging...

As I mentioned in my last post, I had four pieces of colored pencil art in my first art show, Crazy 4 Cult: 2. The show was, to quote Wil Wheaton of all people, "Fuh. Nuh. Muh. Nul!" But I need to rewind a bit because the good times started 24 hours before the event.

One of the great side effects of my visit to Los Angeles was that I got to stay with my friend Henry whom I've known since preschool. This was my first chance to observe him in his Californian habitat, and I was delighted to discover that his house is like a living Shag painting...



He led me to wonderful pizza and we inevitably talked until an unhealthy hour of the night. Throughout the evening I had the distinct feeling that we were existing in the future we had pondered so many times during our youth. We sat there as heads of our own households, surrounded with miraculous technology, discussing our web based careers (he works for Google, but his building isn't the one with the slide or tiki bar). Amazingly, this future turned out just as we might have jokingly fantasized in high school. "...yeah Hen, someday you'll be living in a swank retro pad up on a hillside in LA, and I'll come out to visit when my work is in some art gallery."

His place was a pleasant jaunt from Ventura Boulevard, so the next morning I strolled on down, absentmindedly singing that one line about vampires from the Tom Petty song Free Fallin'. As I hoofed down the avenue, I recognized the Sheman Oaks Galleria Mall from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I got a gander at Mel's Drive-in from American Graffitti fame...


That afternoon I had the pleasure of hanging out in the home of fellow contributing C4C artist and Mr. Toast creator, Dan Goodsell. I've been an admirer of his since the mid 1990s when he contributed to a vintage cereal zine called Freakie Magnet. It felt like some sort of life achievement to have somehow made it into his living room. Speaking of which, he and his wife surround themselves with some really fun stuff...

I immediately recognized "Birdopolis" from the early days of Dan's Imaginary World web site.

Yes, that's the very computer where it all happens!

The stuff on the left makes the stuff on the right.

As the evening crept up we ventured to Gallery 1988 where we encountered a line of hundreds of art admirers stretching down the sidewalk and out of sight. By the end of the evening the gallery would see a record 3,000 visitors.


This was my big chance to do like in the movies and stroll past the suckers standing in line and smugly announce my name to the bouncer who would smile and motion me through the door after checking his clipboard of destiny.
"Not on the list." turned out to be his exact words. I found consolation in the fact that Dan, a real artist, was absent from the list as well. But before things got ugly (like it does in the movies) we were vouched for by the kindly wife of Oldmanmusing's webmaster, Andrew Speers.

Two guys who made the evening even better: Dan Goodsell and Andrew "Savage" Speers

I stepped inside the muggy building and nearly bumped into Superbad's Jonah Hill, but before I could produce my camera Andrew pointed out Wil Wheaton who was attempting to exit the show with his wife. I annoyingly asked him if he would permit a snapshot and he graciously suggested that we forge our way back to a painting that featured him. I only wish my photography had turned out worthy of such a task...


With this, the show had already gone from zero to awesome. Nary a month prior I was grabbing the beloved Stand by Me from the Wal-Mart DVD shelf, and somehow here I had found myself chatting with former Gordie Lachance, the kid who pointed a gun a Kiefer Sutherland and survived leeches in his underpants.

After our Kodak moment Andrew, who seemed completely at home, stepped in and introduced me as the "family portraits" guy. (The fact that Wheaton was already willing to interrupt his exit for an anonymous schmoe with a camera reveals genuine super coolness.) This is when Wil said some wonderful things about the Griswolds piece and told me that he'd even tried to get there early to buy my Torrances piece, but both of them had already sold! This double whammy of info kicked me into a euphoric stupor. Not only did this mean that I could pay off my plane ticket, but with a single Wil Wheaton-uttered sentence this self-proclaimed "artist" can no longer be preceded by the word "amateur."


Locating my work in the gallery seemed like the next logical step. I spotted it across the room in a sweet position right next to the excellent handiwork of Scott Campbell. I squeezed in for a closer look and noticed a line of text printed on the respective title cards of my pieces— "Print set to be released on Crazy4cult.com soon!" I hadn't even permitted my mind to dream about the possibility of being picked for prints (only a handful of works are selected from each show) so this news left me absolutely stunned; literally, my face could not even produce a grin for a short time. Unbelievable. (And in case you're wondering, the prints should be available in 3-4 months. Believe me, I'll announce it here when they go up for sale.)

About that time, Andrew made another introduction; this time it was Plasticgod, an artist who's work I've enjoyed since I saw it at my first ever Comic Con. This was my one big artist-to-artist moment of the evening, in which he brought up how it's harder to recreate likenesses of lesser known celebrities. Most of his work is pop culture centric, like this lineup of Johnny Depp incarnations...

After calling my wife and reporting this series of thrills I calmed down and got a chance to settle in and soak up the atmosphere. Here's how it worked: the line came in through the front door and snaked around the gallery in a nearly fixed pattern...

(Note the banner that announced that Weird Al is going to be hosting next year!)

Then after patrons got their fill, they either went to the sales desk...

Gallery owner Jensen Karp (right) and his girlfriend Chrissy (middle) take care of business.

or they pushed through the exit and headed into Golden Apple Comics next door...


...where they wove through the aisles and made their way out the back door...


...which emptied into a parking lot where they sold drinks and projected old Japanese Sci-Fi films onto the wall...


After I stood by myself in that crowd for a while, I figured it was time to do some looking at art. (Oh, while I was out there someone approached me and asked if I was Lost writer, Damon Lindelof.) The majority of work was truly amazing, and if I would have had the cash these would have got my money...

Kiersten Essenpreis
"After the Fire"
One of my favorite movies and probably my fave piece of the whole show. I love how odd the subject is when taken out of context, and how it makes a really funny movie moment appear so sullen.

Camilla D'Errico
"The Little Dress Up Doll"
Just gorgeous. It sold quick.

Casey Weldon
"Zissou Route"
Great concept; I like it when art can almost automatically get a chuckle out of viewers.

Dennis Larkins
"The Nine Plans of Outer Space"
Really nice execution on this Ed Wood tribute. It's even more impressive in real life because it's made up of 3-D layers.

Brandon Bird
"I Am the Night"

This one caught me off guard in a great way.

So what else? Let's see. When you hang out at any party long enough Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy is bound to show up...


I've always enjoyed it when people lean in real tight while their picture is taken but as the shot turns out, there's actually tons of room left in the frame.

Anyway, things finally started winding down as the clock neared 10 PM which was about the time my pal Henry showed up having just got off work (Google, remember?). On our last lap of the show Jensen stopped me and revealed who bought what of my work...

Michael Rapaport will be able to place the Torrances on his fireplace mantel, and...


Jonah Hill is the new owner of the Griswolds!

I certainly think it's awesome that these Hollywood inspired works were enveloped by Hollywood. Suddenly I am like the toenail of a cultural beast that is eating itself.

So yeah, the experience was simply off-the-charts phenomenal; a surreal blessing beyond what I even dared to imagine a few months ago as I sweat over those waxy portraits, covered in pencil shavings, hunched in front of my screen door at four in the morning on a weeknight. Reality finally set in again when I arrived home to discover that lightning had struck my computer.

Being an artist, I make it a personal rule to only appear in black and white photos.

(If you'd like to see more of the show I recommend Oldmanmusing's teriffic coverage.)

Or here's a nice video piece from G4...

COUNTDOWNLESS

Hey folks! I'm sad to report that I've opted out of doing a Halloween countdown this year. If you like excuses I've got: computer woes that I'm recovering from, and a desire to soak in this season of spooks as opposed to the usual frenzy of October bloggery. But there's no call to completely abandon the Fun Blog this month as I do have a number of better-than-average posts in the hopper that I'm hoping to roll out soon. So despite this undoubtedly devastating news, I still wish you all the happiest of Halloweens!