HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #9

Era: 1960s or 70s Probably 80s or later
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Cain and Abel
Rib Count: Unknown
Celebrity Look-alike: The Ghost of Christmas Future
Description: Boy, there's a lot that's already been written about this guy. It's hard to think of anything new to add. You're probably better off just reading this.
Additional Info: Part of the MPC monster series.
Cause of Death: Himself
Rating: 1.7 (I'm cheating death)

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #10

Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Ebay
Rib Count: 0
Celebrity Look-alike: Pokemon Charlie Brown
Description: Does a hollow plastic skull wedged into a vinyl bag really constitute a skeleton? Of course it does. Who would even ask such a question?
Ok, it's a pretty weak entry, but it does get a few points for its refreshing (albeit cheap) approach, the strong Japanese-influenced face, and for just being relatively old.
Additional Info: Part of a gaggle of "Halloween party puppets" from the 60s...


Cause of Death: Partied too hearty
Rating: 4.2

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #11

Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Bell's Amusement Park Tulsa, OK
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: The melting guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark
Description: This is the one that started it all. My very first rubber skeleton. My head is full of memories that involve admiring, studying, drawing, playing with, traveling with, and even speaking to this very figure. And now I look upon this dear toy and wonder how it is even possible that my young mind completely failed to notice his unsettling, um.. disfigurement.
Additional Info: They say you don't truly appreciate a possession unless you have earned it yourself. This old adage certainly holds true in this case, for this skeleton was my compensation for a momentous ski-ball game that was expertly played.
As an homage, I included this fellow in the background of the souvenir shop in this Flip web toon.
Cause of Death: Humiliation
Rating: 6.0

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #12+

Era: Unknown
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Hong Kong
Rib Count: 32 (between the two of them)
Celebrity Look-alike: Homer Simpson
Description: Witness a portrait of two skeletal kinfolk who belong to a family of millions. Their oldest sibling was born near half a century ago while the youngest was probably born about 10 seconds ago and currently travels along a warm conveyor belt amid a series of industrial machines. As you study the photo above, do you detect a hint of rivalry in their body language? I do.

Though the left brother is honorably "mint in bag," close examination reveals that his body is less detailed and is plagued with the dreaded flaps of excess plastic. He's an umpteenth generation facsimile who bitterly resents his counterpart's purer lineage. He does his best to act disinterested as his emancipated brother recounts tales of glorious Halloween parties of yesteryear and madcap Trick or Treating shenanigans, but his heart (so to speak) is covetous.

And yet the brother on the right is all the while envious of his uncirculated kin. For his rival displays an unflinching pride in his personal identity as well as his homeland. Plus, an incidental benefit of his "header card" is that it almost fully obscures his "hangin' loop." (the loose brother is secretly shameful of his own.) His virgin brother has never known the taste of dust or the stench of dried Halloween mask sweat. These thoughts leave him stewing in his own jealously.

So they both exist.. unhappy in their own skin, (so to speak) so they live (so to speak) under a self-imposed curse of discontentment. You see it coming so do I have to say it?... Don't be like the skeletons.

Additional Info: These two have been separated all of their lives (so to speak) until just a couple weeks ago when one (formerly a Missouri resident) caught wind of the greatest skeleton gathering of all time, prompting him to say goodbye to his many friends and climb into a stamped envelope. In total darkness he travelled on a series of trucks until he reached the Natural State (a.k.a. Arkansas). He emerged to see his long lost brother and at least thirty-one new bony buddies. Who was the skeleton's original owner? None other than Todd from the Neatocoolville blog. And that's the rest of the story. (Thanks Todd- the skeleton is neato and you are cool! um, ville.)
Cause of Death: Suffocation/Polluted air
Rating: 5/5

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #13

Era: 2000s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Bag of party favors
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: At the request of this skeleton I shan't compare him to a celebrity.
Description: This novelty skeleton, rest his soul, bears a message of hope for all of us living in these topsy-turvy times. Read it loud and clear..the Skeleton Making Powers that be still have what it takes to make a proper rubber skeleton! Take comfort in the fact that some things never change. He's only a year old but he's the real deal.. tried and true.. time tested. Even in your gigabitten ipod world with your MTV video games and your myspace races there's still room for a classic, darn it!
He's basic white, he's rubber, he's got two eyes, arms and legs, and a hangin' hoop.. and he dangles, by golly he can dangle with the best of them. And nobody can take that away! Not the shifty-eyed politicians or the back-stabbing attorneys or the corporate fat cats. He may not be "fancy" and he may not be "politically correct" or even "pleasant to look at" but he's the one that will take you out for a game of pool the day after that so-called "skeleton of your dreams" has left you high and dry. Take him or leave him, love him or leave him, what you see is what you get, see my pinkie boy you're stinky. And if you don't like it you'll have to pry this cold rubber skeleton out of my cold dead skeleton hands!
Additional Info: Don't get me started.
Cause of Death: Martyrdom
Rating: 7.8

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #14

Era: Unknown (presumably 1970s or earlier)
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Granny Jo Anne's Joke and Magic Shop
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: Bill Murray in What About Bob (first time sailing scene)
Description: I have only admiration for this rubber skeleton. From his accurate and detailed sculpt to his chilling expression of both shock and agony.. you're looking at an upstanding example of the human frame. And if his color is getting in the way of your appreciation for him then maybe you'd do well to take some time and reexamine your own values. Sheesh.
Additional Info: Click HERE to read the full "story" behind this acquisition.
Cause of Death: Giant wires stuck in back
Rating: 9.5

HALLOWEEN MYSTERY MUSIC

I interrupt this countdown to seek council from you folks out there in internetland. In 1997 I bought one of those cheapie Halloween sound effects CDs at Wal-Mart for like, three bucks. As you can see below it's simply called 55 Minute Horror Sounds and it was produced by Fun World Electronics.

Ninety-nine percent of it is indeed environmental "horror sounds," (which are pretty good actually) but the CD opens with an eerie little synthesizer melody that I've adored since the first time I heard it. You can hear it HERE. (1 meg, right click and 'Save as' to download.)

If you listen closely it sounds like it's been edited at the 35 second mark. Which naturally causes me to wonder if it's from a larger piece of existing music. And so I pose the questions...

Do you recognize this music? (Perhaps as an adaptation of another piece of music, or from some other sound effects/spooky music album, or maybe even a film or TV show.)

I emailed Fun World years ago and got no response. A couple Halloweens ago I heard an even shorter version of the exact same recording on an electronic Jack-O-Lantern. It played as a mechanical ghost popped out of the head. (I don't know if Fun World made it or not.)

Any info would be greatly appreciated. It may be that some intern hammered it out in the Fun World office during his lunch hour, but my hope is that it's from a grand and lengthy opus that I've yet to discover and that's readily downloadable for free.

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #15

We've reached the halfway point of this roller coaster ride of a countdown. Between now and number one there's a commendable line-up of skeletons awaiting to haunt you. No filler, just calcium enriched goodness. But first, lets take a moment to dip into the mailbag.
This letter comes all the way from Livingston, Texas. It says..

Dear Casey,
When I was a boy my father and I traveled our great nation with a small carnival. We ran a portable dark ride called the "Geisterhaus" which means something like "Ghost House" in Germany. It folded neatly into a tractor trailer that was driven by our good pal Mickey. The ride scared those teenage punks to death, and we all know they deserved it for crying out loud.
My pop didn't have a lot of cash for babbysitters or nothing so he'd just put me in our spook ride for hours and hours every night. It was real scary at first but I got real brave over time. I didn't have no friends so I ended up becoming best buds with this skeleton that I named Gordon. He wore a ratty cloak, and we were closer than brothers. (we even fought sometimes just like brothers)
Well, my pop has come on hard times lately and he had to sell that old Ghost House along with Gordon too. Some ******* teenager got out of his carriage and got shocked and he sued my father for all he had. So anyway I'd like to dedicate one of your skeletons to my dear old dad. His name is Monty. And it would be extra special if you had one that wore a cloak or something.

By the way, I'm writing this from prison.

Chris Wulliman
Inmate #55170-054
Polunsky Prison
Livingston, Texas

You got it Chris! Moving up the charts to the number fifteen slot, it's... skeleton number fifteen!
Monty, this one's for you!

Era: 1970s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Technically yes- his head is a flashlight
Place of Origin: Toys "R" Us
Rib Count: Unknown (covered in shrouds)
Celebrity Look-alike: Zippy the pinhead
Description: You read it correctly, his head is equipped with a light bulb. Why, you ask? Because there's an ink pen pointing out of his skull, and the light enables you to write in the dark!! Please take a moment to wrap your mind around it all.

So one might assume this fact would grant him "ultimate skeleton" status in my mind. In truth, his existence only places ideas in my head concerning the unmet potential of toy skeletons in general. For instance, why didn't they at least embed a digital clock in his chest? Why doesn't he play MP3s? Why don't his hands contain vaccine for minor diseases?
Additional Info: A word to both current and future parents.. if you and your spouse ever drop the kids off at their grandma's on your way to an exciting day trip in Tulsa and later return to find that your son is irritable, angry and making accusations of abandonment.. the above item is guaranteed to eliminate any bitterness harbored by the youngster.
Cause of Death: Dead battery
Rating: 8.6

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #16

Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes (barely)
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 16
Celebrity Look-alike: Donkey Kong
Description: Here's yet another entry that I would classify as a "throw away" skeleton. A funny name for it because we all know I couldn't possibly bring myself to trash even the trashiest one. This guy is flat and crude, but I've got to hand it to him for being the most translucent member of the countdown. And someone, bless their soul, was once employed to paint his eyes, and they did a better job than this piece deserves. I suppose I should also force myself to appreciate the artistic achievement that's displayed here. It certainly required an imaginative sculptor to dream up that face. Speaking of artistic liberties, why is he wearing a neckerchief?
Additional Info: Once again I haven't a notion of how I became the owner of this "collectible." Mind you I'm usually quite aware of the stories behind my junk. I know I like to joke around about magic skeletons, and I often "nyuck it up" with talk of magic skeleton powers and all that jazz, but if I may be serious for a moment.. this is a clear cut case of skeleton magic.
Cause of Death: Toes caught in an escalator
Rating: 2.9

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #17

Era: 1960s or 70s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Archie Mcphee's, Seattle WA
Rib Count: 22
Celebrity Look-alike: Sandy Duncan
Description: The giant hoop on his head was probably your first clue that this is one of those plastic miniature "charms." When I was a kid it seemed like 90% of the trinkets that came out of gumball machines sported a hoop. My mom informed me that the stuff was intended for use with charm bracelets. I never made one so I always felt a little guilty thinking that I was misusing my vending machine toys. Maybe that's why I always bit the hoops off.
Anyway, this one's a pretty decent skeleton with the exception of the claw-like feet.
And Fun Blog reader Gugon commented:
"I work in the injection molded plastics field and sometimes it gives me a different perspective on toys. For example, do you see that little circle in the middle of the chest? That's the ejector pin mark. The ejector pin is what pushes the part out of the mold. Usually these are located in a discreet location. For example, on the BACK of the skeleton.
In the highly competitive plastic skeleton industry, there is no excuse for the ejector pin to be located in the middle of the chest. For me, this skeleton loses points for that."
Additional Info: One of the cool things about the Archie Mcphee shop is that they sell lots of kooky, vintage store stock. They had big vats of the trinkets I so loved as a kid, and it was worth it to pay a little more since you can actually choose the ones you want without having to deal with unwanted doubles, gumballs, or toy jewelry. More info at Mcphee.com
Cause of Death: Citrus poisoning
Rating: 5.2

UPDATE: Special thanks to Fun Spot reader Travis for researching the following...
"I had to check Sandy Duncan's face again, after your blog entry this
morning, and sure enough- it's her! Proof is attached."

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #18

Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Bag of party favors from Wal-Mart
Rib Count: 20
Celebrity Look-alike: Alley Oop
Description: Allow me to say what everyone is thinking... What is up with those lower ribs? This is the only skeleton I own whose arms are usually trapped inside his own rib cage. The design is baffling. I'm also not a fan of the sternum growing out from the chin. Looks too much like a long braided beard. But this guy has one super power and that is.. he's blacklight sensitive. Now anything that glows-in-the-dark is automatically blacklight sensitive, but this fellow achieves a neon-like radiance that will make anyone's time in the blacklight more special. Also note that he has both a built-in hanging chord (which goes into the skull and is secured by a knot) and a rubber hanging hoop. This is something you only see on luxury models.
Additional Info: MADE IN CHINA
Cause of Death: Radiation Alien Chestburster
Rating: 5.6

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #19

Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 14
Celebrity Look-alike: Jack Nicholson
Description: In an effort to further educate the public in the art of 'metal ring' skeleton construction, I offer this final example. I'm certain you'll agree that he makes a striking impression. Unlike Skeleton #20, this one has rings that are of suitable proportions. This skeleton is undoubtedly an inspired piece of work (as opposed to Skeleton #20 which I suspect was "inspired" by this design, which is putting it nicely). This model excels in many ways.. from the carefully detailed sculpt to the remarkably true-to-life bone tone. But possibly his greatest quality (though difficult to see in this photo) is his "jeweled" eyes of imitation blue topaz. As a rule, jeweled eyes are the badge of a quality skeleton. Remember that.
Additional Info: This one is also a keychain. There's no telling how many lives he's saved.
Cause of Death: Fell on a pile of sharp jewels
Rating: 7.7

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #20

Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 10
Celebrity Look-alike: A member of the Star Wars Cantina Band Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank
Description: Would you like a skeleton to go with that pile of linking rings?
I suppose it's not something I should make light of.. I guess I'm just trying to ease the blow. As you may remember, I touched on the topic of 'metal ring' skeleton construction early in the countdown. After some careful thought I decided it was finally time that you understand what can happen when it's handled all wrong. I'm very sorry you had to see this.

On top of that, it's a "key fob" (which is just a fancy word for 'keychain' that I thought might be fun to use.) Now, in the past I've been known to eagerly promote skeleton keychains among drivers of all ages. Because until recently I've been a firm believer that the sobering message they send is certain to make people mindful of the consequences of bad driving habits. However, this "skeleton" is so absurdly long and unwieldy I fear that it's bound to get tangled around gas pedals, thus causing more accidents than it would prevent. Consider this a consumer advisory.
Additional Info: I think this was a gift.
Cause of Death: Dismemberment
Rating: 3.0

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #21

Let's continue to get some of the lesser skeletons out of the way so that the second half of the countdown will be a better experience, shall we? Here's another lackluster entry...

Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Unknown
Rib Count: 12
Celebrity Look-alike: One of those guys from Sesame Street that goes "yip, yip, yip, uh-huh."
Description: I would tell you that he's the second to smallest skeleton in the countdown, but if I get into all that then where will it ever end? What? Next do you want me to start reporting things like 'this one ranks number 28 in weight and 7th in white-ness?' I can't.. I just can't go there!!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just that seeing this skeleton's smug face just makes me so darn mad. It's that cocky head-tilt and the way he crosses his legs all nonchalant-like. And what could he possibly be so proud of? He doesn't even have a nose hole! Well.. there is one thing I suppose. He knows what it's like "on the other side." And that really gets my goat. I try to put him in his place with cheap shots like "Your hands look like unearthed tree roots!" or "My, that's some real nice unsightly excess plastic you've got hanging off your ribs there." But after about a half-hour of this I wipe the sweat from my brow only to I realize that as long as I'm alive I can never be as easygoing as he is, and he just smiles back as if to say.. "Gotcha again, big guy."
Additional Info: This is yet another mysterious stowaway in my collection. I have no recollection of his entrance into my life, I just know I've had him since I was a kid.
Cause of Death: Maxing and relaxing
Rating: 4.4

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #22

Era: 1990s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Hobby Lobby
Rib Count: 4
Celebrity Look-alike: Ron Howard's brother Clint
Description: 10 problems I have with this skeleton..
1. Its meaningless markings on the forehead
2. Its overly cartoonish appearance
3. Its beady yellow eyes
4. Its "turtleneck" rib cage
5. That shade of violet paint
6. The fact that it looks like a child
7. The 'm' on its pelvis
8. Its pelvis
9. Its chubby cheeks
10. It almost caused me to be late with my October 10th posting.
Additional Info: He's another "bendy," big whoop.
Cause of Death: Who cares
Rating: 3.1

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #23

Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Box of Cap'n Crunch
Rib Count: 12
Celebrity Look-alike: Take your pick of the famous pirates with one eye and one leg.
Description: This skeleton taught me a valuable life lesson. The year was 1998, and the world was naive.. stupid even. Geri Halliwell shocked civilization when she announced her departure from the Spice Girls, optimistic Star Wars fans waited hours as the first Episode I trailer downloaded on dial-up internet, and President Clinton answered the age old question.. "What would happen if an Arkansan took the oval office?"

I'd been hearing a term thrown around the toy shows.. "bla bla bla sold it on ebay." And as fate would have it, a position I'd recently accepted came with fresh internet access and a personal email account. Soon I found this so-called ebay and I put it to the test. Suddenly dozens of my various collections were reaching completion, materialistic childhood dreams were coming true left and right, and I even obtained my holy grail.. the Weebles Haunted House (see future post.)

One day I was scanning my brain for lost relics of my youth when I remembered one of my favorite cereal prizes of all time... that's right, a glow-in-the-dark, snap-together skeleton puzzle that came out of Cap'n Crunch. I typed in a few keywords and like magic, an auction popped up.. "Cap'n Crunch Premium/Prize Glow Pirate Skeleton Puzzle." There was nothing that my new powers could not accomplish. I bid. I won. And then in the longstanding tradition of mail order goods I became confused when I received an envelope instead of a box (see also Life-Size Frankenstein, or 101 Toy Soldiers.) Here's what I got...


There was no false advertising about it. This was a Cap'n Crunch Premium/Prize Glow Pirate Skeleton Puzzle indeed. If you turn out the lights you see a pirate skeleton standing in that blank doorway. Why wasn't this discrepancy obvious to me from the picture? There was no picture. As you may recall, in the early days any photos on ebay were extremely rare. Users who could accomplish such a feat were looked upon with great awe. At the time, I thought that plucking an image out of reality and getting it onto a computer monitor was only possible with the aid of one of those lasers from Tron. In fact, I considered such an ability to be of the "black arts." Well, the seller was not to blame and I clearly had no choice but to accept the item. Thus was my first in a continuing series of "ebay wounds."

A couple years later fate stepped in once again and while attending a then-endangered Toy Show I saw the elusive prize, the 'real' one, Mint In Package in a glass display case for a mere two bucks. And that's the story behind skeleton #23. So what valuable lesson did I learn? Neither the cardboard skeleton puzzle nor the plastic one was capable of putting an end to all of life's problems.
Additional Info: "Great transaction...fast payment...highly recommended...A+++"
Cause of Death: Scurvy
Rating: 7.7

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #24

Era: 1980s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: No
Place of Origin: Hobby Shop
Rib Count: 12
Celebrity Look-alike: Rory Calhoun
Description: This well crafted skeleton is the tiniest of them all at less than two inches tall. His design and pose are top notch and he's even able to stand on his own. I shall refrain from cheapening this entry with petty quips and rambling joke-ish remarks, for this skeleton demands respect!
Additional Info: I found this fellow when I was a kid tagging along with my mom as she shopped for doll house furniture. Thankfully, skeleton makers have continued to utilize this mold. I've most recently seen him embedded in bars of soap.
Cause of Death: I said no jokes!
Rating: 9.0

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: SKELETON #25

Era: 1960s
Glow-in-the-Dark?: Yes
Place of Origin: Unsold store stock
Rib Count: 18
Celebrity Look-alike: David Letterman
Description: This is one of three "bendy" skeletons in the countdown, meaning that it's fully posable due to a series of inner wires. It's like a skeleton within a skeleton. Try pondering that during your next mountaintop meditation. (You'd just better hope you have a strong soul.)
Dating back half a century, this guy is a true classic. He helped show the world what a novelty skeleton can be. I'll bet this model turned up at some of the most fun places and events of the mid century including carnivals, dime stores, state fairs, magic shops, amusement parks, and possibly an occasional cotillion.
The only thing that disqualifies this one as a perfect specimen is his grossly elongated lower spine. It's two thirds the length of his rib cage. But oddly enough this deformity is practically undetectable in the photo I took. Is this illusion because of the angle, or is it yet another case of skeleton magic? If so.. how annoying.
Additional Info: I purchased this chap less than a week ago in Salem, MA. He's been stored in boxes for five decades just waiting for his moment to shine. This is his moment. However this means that I had to boot another skeleton from the countdown. Oh, why did I invite skeletal warfare into my home?
Cause of Death: Old age
Rating: 9.8