LAIR OF THE ZOMBIE

I've always enjoyed observing the way people set up and decorate their dwellings, whether it be dorm room, apartment, classroom, cubicle, or house. So much is revealed about a person and the culture they live in.. plus I just get a kick outta seeing peoples' stuff. Therefore shows like MTV's Cribs are very appealing to me.

Honestly, I don't usually envy the excessive estates that are showcased. Most of these mansions feel pretty sterile and impersonal. However, when I first laid eyes on Rob Zombie's digs I felt some strong covetous urges. Not only is his place full of fun, spooky, one-of-a-kind relics.. it seems very livable..even cozy. I recently rented a Cribs DVD just to get another look at Mr. Zombie's plunder. Have a look at some screenshots...

My favorite piece is this crazy unofficial Creature from the Black Lagoon that he first saw standing in front of a sombrero shop in Tijuana when he was a kid.

This is one of three breathtaking Basil Gogos paintings which hang above the fireplace.

The "pirate bar" with life-size pirate included

The actual polar bear prop from the Addams Family TV show
Update: Looks like this isn't the original.

A close-up of his Munsters collection. I've always wanted a Woof-Woof doll.

I sure wish they would have given a better look at the rest of his toy collection.

Vintage horror posters everywhere

The walk-in "all horror" video collection

Say what you will about his art.. the man is a true "monster kid" at heart.

UPDATE: You can watch the whole segment here.

AT THE DRIVE-IN

In a brilliant move, the nearby drive-in theater which doesn't typically show "first run" movies started showing Cars during it's second week in release. It must have done them well because it's been "held over" ever since.

Watching a movie about cars from inside a car is a novelty that I couldn't pass up. We thought we'd "play it safe" by arriving thirty minutes before showtime. But just as we exited the interstate, we encountered a shocking scene...

(Click to enlarge)

The vehicles awaiting entry into the Drive-In not only filled up the lengthy driveway to the ticket booth, but spilled onto the highway for about a half mile in both directions. In the past I've never had to wait for more than a couple cars before getting my ticket. At first I was disappointed because I figured that the place would sell out at any moment. Once I got past my annoyance it dawned on me that this was truly a wonderful sight. Our little drive-in theater, whose future I've often questioned, was absolutely bustling in this year of 2006! When I thought about it, all the right factors were at work.. it's a highly anticipated, family-friendly movie, still relatively new, shown on a holiday weekend, and the subject matter couldn't be more suitable to the venue. I crossed my fingers and got in line. I figured that even if things didn't go our way it would be kind of cool to get turned away from a sold-out drive-in movie.

After reaching the entrance we looked back and noticed that droves of customers had queued up behind us...


The collective enthusiasm made it easy for me imagine what a Saturday night in the 1950s was like. The movie had been playing for ten minutes when we pulled up to the ticket booth, but I was thrilled to see that there was still room for us at this popular event.


Surprisingly, there was a parking space for everyone who waited. And I was shocked to discover prime spots available right up front. I think "walk-in" theaters have trained people to avoid the front rows, but at this drive-in, parking in the back makes the movie appear about the size of a QuickTime window on your computer monitor.

Pixar did so well at giving human characteristics to the onscreen cars that as I looked around the lot it felt as if the vehicles themselves were the ones being entertained by the movie. At one point I noted that the cars at the drive-in were watching a movie depicting cars at a drive-in watching movies about cars.

I couldn't write an accurate review of Cars if I had to. It was merely one contributing factor to the fun evening we had. The movie was what tied together the moments of fiddling with the volume knob, studying the other patrons, hunting spilled Junior Mints, showing my son around, commenting on different scenes, wiping down the windshield, navigating my way to the concession stand, and repeatedly taking in the starry sky. It was great, but watching it on DVD will be a completely different experience.

A strong message in Cars is that unless folks take time to enjoy those diversions that are off the beaten path.. they will vanish. I find it extremely interesting that the movie itself is prolonging the life of one of these very establishments.

Next thing I knew, it was my favorite time of the evening... Intermission Time! Thankfully, our drive-in uses an intermission countdown from the 1950s as well as a nice collection of vintage advertisements. (Even M&M ads from the 1980s can generate a surprising dose of nostalgia.) By the time they're over one cannot resist the urge for "piping hot coffee that puts a man on his feet again" or "freshly popped corn covered in rich, creamery butter."

The second feature, The Shaggy Dog afforded me plenty of time for snapping photos. Click any one to enlarge it...

The ticket booth from afar

Proud members of the "Commonwealth"

Like a beacon in the night, the concession stand is ready to serve

Concession stand entrance (just before closing time)

Chilly Dilly Pickles have been a drive-in staple for half a century.

The orange and turquoise color scheme, the crisscrossed windows, the colorful signs, the stained glass lights, the tile on the walls.. so many fun visuals at work.

Wonderful signage

Though it would be quite at home in the 1960s, I think this place was actually built more recently.

The "out" door

The man on the moon takes in another free movie

If I may slap a moral on this tale.. while attending your favorite drive-in take the advice of the singing food and visit the snack bar. It's so tempting to pack a huge cooler of goodies for the night, but most theaters (drive-in and otherwise) are almost entirely dependent on concession sales.

I left the pleasant evening hoping that I'd get to attend another overcrowded drive-in feature someday. Looks like my dream may come true because showing this weekend is a double feature... Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Cars.

SEE ROCK CITY

One of the predominant themes of childhood consumerism (and of this blog) is "hopeful expectation vs. painful reality." So for a change, I thought I'd focus on a place that consistently managed to surpass my youthful hopes... Rock City Gardens in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

If you've traveled on highways that lead anyplace near Chattanooga you have seen a multitude of roadside advertisements urging you to "See Rock City." Rock City is in that family of American attractions that are akin to using extreme repetition to wear down, and lure in interstate travelers. (Other examples are Wall Drug, South of the Border, and Stuckey's.) Not only is this advertising technique effective, I consider the gauntlet of billboards to be a considerable part of the Rock City experience. After being subject to so many ads, passing by the Rock City exit can be downright painful. However, if you know Rock City to be your destination then the billboards can gradually ramp up your car's collective anticipation until the thought of arrival becomes all-consuming, and the level of excitement is almost agonizing. You can become so dependent upon seeing the next sign, that you start to feel as though you're being toyed with. A maddening twenty mile dry spell can suddenly erupt into a feast of four-in-a-row signs causing your brain to swell with pleasure-inducing dopamine.

The pleas to "See Rock City" come in several unique forms. Most notable are the old wooden barns that are painted up as billboards. Long ago, a Rock City rep named Clark Byers traveled surrounding areas offering free paint jobs to any farmer who didn't mind proclaiming Rock City's marketing message.


In the spirit of these barns, I once painted my own shed with the Rock City advert (see below).


Bird houses are another unconventional method of promoting the attraction.


Most common are the standard billboards. Prior to the 1990s the volume of these signs was far greater. I remember counting well over a hundred between Little Rock and Chattanooga. I must admit that I liked the ads better when they featured Rocky the gnome. Although I understand that Rock City's efforts to change with the times is one of the reasons it is still around.


The climax of the journey to the city of rock is the ascent up Lookout Mountain. The road is twisty, steep, and beautiful. And the streets are named after fictional characters like Peter Pan and Red Riding Hood. The magic kicks in well before you even see the Rock City parking lot.

Soon after you reach the glorious moment of arrival, a banjo-pickin, animatronic gnome greets you in front of the main building. After a pass through aisles of souvenirs, a ticket gains you access through the back door to the winding pathway of delights. Unlike other garden attractions, Rock City has many distinct points of interest. There are rock formations, overlooks, bridges, passages, and even a group of white deer. Each feature has a mystical name like "Goblin's Overpass" and "Eye of the Needle." Colorful ceramic gnomes hide throughout the park giving the kiddies something to do while the grown ups debate the types of foliage. Here are "artists renderings" of some of the highlights that were taken from a vintage book of postcards...

Lovers Leap


The 1,000-ton balanced rock.

The experience culminates at the Fairyland Caverns, a man-made "cave" full of blacklight-sensitive 3-D dioramas of popular nursery rhymes. I remember my folks commenting that something so artificial was out of place and anticlimactic in relation to the natural wonders. But when I was little it was the perfect topper to an already amazing experience.

After encircling one final, dazzling Farilyland display the tour comes to an end. But the day isn't over yet! There's one more opportunity to scour the gift shop for ways to bring home some magic. Here are a couple mementos that I have...

The miraculous penny in a bottle.

In the midst of the self-guided tour there is a booth where you can sit while a lady cuts out a custom silhouette profile from black construction paper. This was supposed to be me in 1977.

Here's an old window decal

Rocky adorns the sack that contains your precious new souvenirs.
But don't let him boss you around regarding your next stop. It's your vacation.

By now, you might suspect that I'm some sort of Rock City shill, but really I'm just a long-time patron who's happy that such a place exists and thankful that it has withstood the post-Disney tourism slump and continues to thrive. So please, by all means... See Rock City.

For more information visit the official Rock City web site.

FROM GAYLA TO GALAGA

The "Baby Bat" kite from Gayla is the quintessential kite design in my mind. It was around before my time, and it's still available to the kids of today. Although, while I had my fair share of kites, and I admired the monster-like nature of this one, I never actually chose to purchase "the bat." The reason is laughable now, but while I was growing up I thought that bloodshot eyes were gross. Just looking at them made me squint and turn away.

Anyway, I saw one of these kites on ebay recently and as I studied the alluring display card I noticed something for the first time. Those oh, so repulsive blood vessels in the eyes actually spell out the manufacturer's name "Gayla." Now that is cool.

Another trivial thought occurred as I studied the design.. the logo for the video game Galaga sure looks similar to Gayla's; it even has the stars flying around it. So there you have it...Believe it or NOT!

"PAPERCRAFT" MINI FREAKIES BOX

Here's an idea.. print, cut out, and put together a "papercraft" version of the mini Freakies cereal box shown above. Povided below is all you need to make a scale replica of an empty box that was originally included in a set of miniature toy food from the 1980s. Oddly enough, these sets were sold years after Freakies were made unavailable.

You can get the flattened box by clicking the thumbnail image above, or right click and "save as.." on this link. Don't forget to print it out at 'high" quality. And it's best if you use a heavier paper stock. (Also, it may be unclear that you must cut a slit to the left of the "wearables" order form. This is where you slide the tab that is located to the right of the prizes.) Update: I uploaded a new image file that has more accurate color compared to the real box.

What's that? You say you want to hear the story behind the box this was scanned from, and the way it relates to my life? Well, Ok...

Freakies is my favorite cereal in the history of the world. Oh, not because they tasted good, but for the graphics and the characters on the box. As a tyke I admired those funny, little, monstery oddballs and wished to visit their tree hangout under blue skies. Believe it or not, my young mind even appreciated the friendly yellow typeface. The entire box was a work of art. And the prizes were simply the best. They were Freakie-themed as opposed to some generic toy, or a heartless movie promotion. Premiums like the Freakie cars, boats, and figures had play-value that lasted months, or even years after the cereal had been devoured. And how many cereals offered six distinctly different prizes at once?

I was still pretty young when the cherished cereal was discontinued. I missed it, and as I entered middle childhood I continued to talk about it, but none of my friends could remember Freakies. As the years passed I actually started to question whether they ever existed. With no remaining evidence, and nobody to validate my memories I wondered if they were something I had imagined or encountered in a dream.

One day my younger sister and her friend were taking part in an annoyingly loud session of 'play kitchen' while I was trying to watch my after school television lineup. As usual, I aggressively intervened and expressed my irritation. At once I was distracted by a tiny Freakies box no more than two inches high! I struggled to hide my interest, knowing that if the girls sensed my weakness for the item, it would be exploited. It required all the control I could muster, but I successfully appeared unaware of the treasure. I anxiously waited for their game to fizzle, and after they had moved on to the next imaginary realm I had some precious one-on-one time with the box. Not only was it a glorious memento of Saturday mornings past, but it was proof that my sucker friends couldn't remember themselves out of a paper bag.

I immediately constructed my plot to own the box. It involved a 'cooling off' period that allowed my sister to lose interest, followed by a bargain. I don't recall what I swapped for the prize, but I'm sure it was something ridiculously stupid and meaningless which was either immediately eaten or quickly cast aside by my sis. To the contrary, I walked away with the sweetest of spoils.. a trophy which I would preserve for decades. And now with the aid of the internet my master plan will come to fruition as I unleash the box and watch it multiply throughout the world. Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

THE THING... WHAT IS IT?

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity." -Albert Einstein

Maybe it's not as grand as all that, but here is today's mystery for you. What's in this box?...



Unless you've seen one before, or you worked for an oriental novelty factory in the 1940s, there's no possible way to know what "the thing" inside is. There's no logical conclusion to be drawn. And that's why this item is so wonderful. My friend Scott found this little gem at a flea market and graciously gifted it to me. The graphics are obviously incredible and mysteriously spooky to boot. I think the current contents are what originally came inside, but I can't be certain. It would be equally great if they're not. (I wonder if different items were included in different boxes. That sure would've been a clever way for the manufacturers to liquidate unwanted inventory.)

Ok, the wait is over. I now present... The Thing.


I'm not really sure what to say.
Those ghosts were pretty misleading, huh?
My only theory is that the fellow in the middle is Joseph Stalin, which would make it a piece of plastic political satire. See the resemblance?...


Anyone have any other theories? Was The Thing box created to boost sales of the failed "Three Of A Kind" statue? Or was it all a carefully calculated "box gag?" The near-perfect fit suggests that they were made to go together. And the statue has an open back which could mean that it was intended to remain in the box. Or was the original "thing" replaced with this farce?

Well, now you know what The Thing is, but as with all good mysteries.. the answer only raises more questions.

_______________

It all reminds me of an equally baffling roadside attraction in Dragoon, Arizona that bears the same name The Thing (a.k.a. The Mystery of the Desert)...


Approaching interstate traffic must face endless miles of road signs that repeatedly pose the same two-word question.."The Thing?" I've never witnessed the Arizona "Thing" in person, but I've been intrigued by the conundrum for years. My curiosity finally drove me to spoil the puzzle for myself by way of the internet. If you get as desperate as I was, the The Thing is exposed here.

Fact is, attractions that utilize enigmatic words in their names have always been extra-appealing to me. The Trees of Mystery, Secret Caverns, Mystery Hill, Cosmos Mystery Area, Forbidden Caverns, The Winchester Mystery House, Museum of Wonder, The Mystery Spot, The Wonder Spot, and The Mystery Hole are all examples of real attractions that can instantly bewilder me with the flash of a single billboard. I think they're so effective because they suggest that there are still mysteries of the road that remain unraveled. And speaking of revelations.. now you know why I called my web site the Secret Fun Spot.

FLAP JACK

Last decade, a fellow named Mike Becker created a company that he aptly named Funko. He started by selling vinyl figures of the Shoney's Big Boy out of his garage, and went on to peddle millions of 'bobble head' versions of some of the century's greatest pop culture icons, inspiring a resurgence in 'head nodder' collecting (and fun) across the globe.


I was thrilled when I started seeing his "Wacky Wobblers" in the novelty shops. I was shocked to see dear, forgotten characters like Rat Fink, Frankenberry, Sea Monkeys and Bazooka Joe available in the modern marketplace. And they were done right.. everything from the design, to the colors, to the packaging. I knew that whoever was behind them was "in love" with the subject matter. I followed Funko closely and looked forward to their latest offerings.

While my friends and I were filming Flip I decided that once it was complete, I would send a copy to Funko because I knew that they would appreciate it. Imagine my surprise when I saw an email in my inbox from "Chairman of Fun," Mike Becker.. before I contacted them. He had discovered the Secret Fun Spot and wanted to chat about our similar interests. Naturally, we had a lot to discuss, and a friendship rapidly developed.

So months later when Mike told me he was considering "early retirement" I was surprised at first, but on second thought I realized how attractive such a notion is to most everyone. Next thing I knew he had sold Funko. But as I had suspected it wasn't long before he realized how much he missed creating the fun. It seemed like every time we talked he had new ideas for characters and packaging. Soon the ideas turned into prototypes, and before I knew it he was heading up a new company.

I'm sharing all of this now because the time has come for the official world wide unveiling of Mike's new outlet for fun stuff.. Flap Jack Toys. You can check out their hot, buttery web site here.

To my delight, Mike's products are now spookier than ever. He turned to Rat Fink, Weird-Oh's, Groovie Goolies, and Marvin Glass for inspiration and the new stuff is frightfully fun. Flap Jack kicks off with two different lines of goodies. The Spooky Kookys are a group of skeletons with distinct personalities, and the Symptoms are scary personifications of various ailments that are packaged in giant pill bottles!

I was happy to make a small contribution to the Flap Jack legacy in the form of a pointless little animation. You can find it on their site under the "Coffee Break" section on the "Spooky Kookys" doughnut. Or it might just be easier to watch it here.

It sure is great to see retro-influenced, frightening plastic on the market. Flap Jack, I wish you all the gloomy best!

LIFE OF THE PARTY

If you ever wondered why I went nine months without updating the Secret Fun Spot, here's the reason... I'm thrilled to announce a new "visual history book" about the S.S. Adams Prank and Magic Company.. written, photographed, and designed by yours truly. It just finished printing in Korea and we're hoping to have it in hand by mid July.

For the benefit of those who are unfamiliar, S.S. Adams (a.k.a Adams) is the world's first and oldest mass-manufacturer of pranks and magic tricks. Adams is responsible for timeless classics like The Joy Buzzer, The Dribble Glass and The Snake Nut Can. They basically pioneered the American "joker's novelty" industry.

I've been doing design work for the Adams company for a couple of years now, and in early 2005 they approached me about creating a book in celebration of their 100th anniversary. This was literally a dream come true, as I'd been talking for years about putting together a book on pranks and magic.

The first thing I did was visit the Adams factory in Neptune, New Jersey and raided the place for artwork, discontinued stock, old photos, promotional stuff..everything I could find. I made discoveries like the original art(!) for the Money Maker and Mystic Smoke that you've seen a hundred million times in comic book ads. The experience was truly phenomenal.

The book consists of 200 full color, large-format pages of prankster's eye candy. I included items and artwork from every decade of the last century. Miraculously, Chris Ware of Jimmy Corrigan and Acme Novelty Library fame wrote the foreword. Just as you'd expect, it's as painful as it is hilarious.

Anyway, you can preview a half dozen pages, and even order it over at S.S. Adams website. Please spread the word if you know of anyone who might be interested. It's a relatively tiny print run, and we've got no real marketing budget, but it's a true labor of love and some of you are going to greatly enjoy it.

As if the experience wasn't already great enough, my design hero Chip Kidd gave me a blurb to die for...
"This book? This book is a JOKE. When I opened it, it played a trick on me: instead of a breezy light-hearted look at novelties, it buzzed in my head and revealed itself as the heartbreaking secret history of twentieth century America that it actually is. Oh, and it's gorgeous too. Tricked again."
-Chip Kidd, author of The Cheese Monkeys, and Batman Collected