SCHOOL SUPPLY BOX

School supply boxes seem to be a forgotten source of nostalgia. I've rarely seen them for sale on the "secondary market," and yet practically every kid I knew got a new one each year. I imagine that's just the problem, by the end of the school year there wasn't much left of those little cardboard containers. Just as it was with lunchboxes, the art on school boxes inevitably got embedded in my psyche due to the frequent daily use. I remember designs like jungle safari, United States map, and my friend's vintage astronaut box. Oddly enough, I don't remember any licensed characters on these things. (Well, maybe a foggy memory of Snoopy.)

Anyway, the one pictured above is mine from fourth or fifth grade. To be honest, I was never crazy about the art on it. I chose it on my post-Star Wars "anything outer space" principle. But it's served me well by holding a batch of my childhood memorabilia for all these years.

One of my personal lost treasures was a school supply box that sported sky-themed artwork. The clouds had faces and I remember one of them wore black rimmed glasses. (I tried to draw those guys all the time.) Each side pictured different cartoonish flying machines.. planes, birds, hot air balloons, etc.

When I was in college I noticed a box with this very design locked behind glass in an old cabinet in my Biology lab. It was stored among the jars of animal corpses and formaldehyde so who knows what it housed inside. I almost approached the professor about seeing the box until I realized how odd my request would have seemed. Boy, would I love to see that thing again.

PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES- 1947

On Thursday July 17, 1947 Mrs. S. B. Jackson caught a train to New York City where she stayed five days before flying to Amarillo. She spent one night there and then took a bus further into Texas. Who is Mrs. Jackson and why did she make this journey? I don't know. A few years ago I found a small bundle of keepsakes from this particular trip at a flea market. I thought I'd share these things with you because this little stack of paper goods provides a great look at typical traveler's ephemera from the days before SkyMall. And I love the fact that these items represent a real trip that was taken by some lucky lady of the 40s.

Her adventure began with a thirty dollar train ticket. There's no indication of where she departed from, but according to the note scribed on this envelope she expected to "arrive 5:30 New York, Thursday P.M." I sure wouldn't mind spending some hours cruising the landscape in the train pictured on this envelope. I see that she was on Track 13. So apparently they didn't skip over 13th tracks like they did the 13th floors in buildings.


After a five day stint in the Big Apple (I'll bet that was fun) it was time to hitch a plane to Texasland. Mrs. Jackson was destined to experience the new Lockheed Constellation aircraft (which had just started delivering passengers in November of 1945.. less than two years earlier.) I can't help thinking of the scene from The Aviator in which Howard Hughes discusses the Constellation's fabric swatches and window coverings with his competition over a fancy meal.

Being one of the early passengers, Mrs. Jackson received this Constellation "first reader" booklet...

The pocket-sized edition is full of facts about the plane, whimsical rhymes, and cool cartoon illustrations that were designed to exalt the aircraft while easing potential fears of even the most dim-witted passenger.


The prize of this collection is this strikingly illustrated portfolio which TWA issued to help their customers organize flight related paperwork...

Front view (click to enlarge)

Back view (also click to enlarge)

The next time you find yourself annoyed by an airport video terminal, imagine flipping through a thick, finely-printed flight schedule, attempting to locate your flight among hundreds of others...

In the cut-throat world of mid-century air travel, making customers happy was paramount. Therefore all patrons were given a pre-paid comment card.

Once the exciting flight was behind her, and she'd gotten a good night's rest in Amarillo it was time for Mrs. Jackson to kick back and let a lush Greyhound bus carry her down the "happy way" to her final destination..wherever that was.


This glimpse into the glory days of American travel was brought to you in part by..
Southern Railway System- "The Southern Serves the South"
by Trans World Airline- "Still Finest, Fastest Coast to Coast!"
by Greyhound- "Make Highways Happy Ways."
And by my ability to romanticize a trip that I know nothing about. For all I know, she could have been on her way to a funeral.

INSTANT VENTRILOQUISM

It is my distinct pleasure to present you with the Jimmy Nelson's Instant Ventriloquism LP in its entirety. This is the record that is responsible for spawning the latest craze of slick ventriloquist jet setters that are currently dominating every facet of the entertainment industry.

Like Kung-Fu and Hypnosis, ventriloquism is one of the many super powers that was offered by Johnson Smith & Co. to allowance earners everywhere...


So how does this item rate on the "Johnson Smith disappointment scale?" Aside from being one of the flimsiest records that I own, and the lackluster spot-colored packaging, and the steep price tag (that's four 1972 dollars), I'd say this product actually delivers. If one were to follow the instructions and put in the mind numbing hours of necessary practice, it provides a solid basis from which any young boy or girl could kick off a "career" in ventriloquism.

Not only does the record provide lessons on how to master every letter of the alphabet, it includes a pre-written routine that you can perform right along with the voices of Danny O'Day and Farfel the dog. What makes it even more fun is that I don't have the script that originally came with the LP so you hear the characters taking part in one half of a completely senseless conversation.

UPDATE: Gracious Fun Blog reader Dan Rodden has contributed the missing script! (and some audio tracks with improved sound!)

Download the album with the script here

What are you waiting for? Take your life to the next level—become a ventriloquist!

LAIR OF THE ZOMBIE

I've always enjoyed observing the way people set up and decorate their dwellings, whether it be dorm room, apartment, classroom, cubicle, or house. So much is revealed about a person and the culture they live in.. plus I just get a kick outta seeing peoples' stuff. Therefore shows like MTV's Cribs are very appealing to me.

Honestly, I don't usually envy the excessive estates that are showcased. Most of these mansions feel pretty sterile and impersonal. However, when I first laid eyes on Rob Zombie's digs I felt some strong covetous urges. Not only is his place full of fun, spooky, one-of-a-kind relics.. it seems very livable..even cozy. I recently rented a Cribs DVD just to get another look at Mr. Zombie's plunder. Have a look at some screenshots...

My favorite piece is this crazy unofficial Creature from the Black Lagoon that he first saw standing in front of a sombrero shop in Tijuana when he was a kid.

This is one of three breathtaking Basil Gogos paintings which hang above the fireplace.

The "pirate bar" with life-size pirate included

The actual polar bear prop from the Addams Family TV show
Update: Looks like this isn't the original.

A close-up of his Munsters collection. I've always wanted a Woof-Woof doll.

I sure wish they would have given a better look at the rest of his toy collection.

Vintage horror posters everywhere

The walk-in "all horror" video collection

Say what you will about his art.. the man is a true "monster kid" at heart.

UPDATE: You can watch the whole segment here.

AT THE DRIVE-IN

In a brilliant move, the nearby drive-in theater which doesn't typically show "first run" movies started showing Cars during it's second week in release. It must have done them well because it's been "held over" ever since.

Watching a movie about cars from inside a car is a novelty that I couldn't pass up. We thought we'd "play it safe" by arriving thirty minutes before showtime. But just as we exited the interstate, we encountered a shocking scene...

(Click to enlarge)

The vehicles awaiting entry into the Drive-In not only filled up the lengthy driveway to the ticket booth, but spilled onto the highway for about a half mile in both directions. In the past I've never had to wait for more than a couple cars before getting my ticket. At first I was disappointed because I figured that the place would sell out at any moment. Once I got past my annoyance it dawned on me that this was truly a wonderful sight. Our little drive-in theater, whose future I've often questioned, was absolutely bustling in this year of 2006! When I thought about it, all the right factors were at work.. it's a highly anticipated, family-friendly movie, still relatively new, shown on a holiday weekend, and the subject matter couldn't be more suitable to the venue. I crossed my fingers and got in line. I figured that even if things didn't go our way it would be kind of cool to get turned away from a sold-out drive-in movie.

After reaching the entrance we looked back and noticed that droves of customers had queued up behind us...


The collective enthusiasm made it easy for me imagine what a Saturday night in the 1950s was like. The movie had been playing for ten minutes when we pulled up to the ticket booth, but I was thrilled to see that there was still room for us at this popular event.


Surprisingly, there was a parking space for everyone who waited. And I was shocked to discover prime spots available right up front. I think "walk-in" theaters have trained people to avoid the front rows, but at this drive-in, parking in the back makes the movie appear about the size of a QuickTime window on your computer monitor.

Pixar did so well at giving human characteristics to the onscreen cars that as I looked around the lot it felt as if the vehicles themselves were the ones being entertained by the movie. At one point I noted that the cars at the drive-in were watching a movie depicting cars at a drive-in watching movies about cars.

I couldn't write an accurate review of Cars if I had to. It was merely one contributing factor to the fun evening we had. The movie was what tied together the moments of fiddling with the volume knob, studying the other patrons, hunting spilled Junior Mints, showing my son around, commenting on different scenes, wiping down the windshield, navigating my way to the concession stand, and repeatedly taking in the starry sky. It was great, but watching it on DVD will be a completely different experience.

A strong message in Cars is that unless folks take time to enjoy those diversions that are off the beaten path.. they will vanish. I find it extremely interesting that the movie itself is prolonging the life of one of these very establishments.

Next thing I knew, it was my favorite time of the evening... Intermission Time! Thankfully, our drive-in uses an intermission countdown from the 1950s as well as a nice collection of vintage advertisements. (Even M&M ads from the 1980s can generate a surprising dose of nostalgia.) By the time they're over one cannot resist the urge for "piping hot coffee that puts a man on his feet again" or "freshly popped corn covered in rich, creamery butter."

The second feature, The Shaggy Dog afforded me plenty of time for snapping photos. Click any one to enlarge it...

The ticket booth from afar

Proud members of the "Commonwealth"

Like a beacon in the night, the concession stand is ready to serve

Concession stand entrance (just before closing time)

Chilly Dilly Pickles have been a drive-in staple for half a century.

The orange and turquoise color scheme, the crisscrossed windows, the colorful signs, the stained glass lights, the tile on the walls.. so many fun visuals at work.

Wonderful signage

Though it would be quite at home in the 1960s, I think this place was actually built more recently.

The "out" door

The man on the moon takes in another free movie

If I may slap a moral on this tale.. while attending your favorite drive-in take the advice of the singing food and visit the snack bar. It's so tempting to pack a huge cooler of goodies for the night, but most theaters (drive-in and otherwise) are almost entirely dependent on concession sales.

I left the pleasant evening hoping that I'd get to attend another overcrowded drive-in feature someday. Looks like my dream may come true because showing this weekend is a double feature... Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Cars.

SEE ROCK CITY

One of the predominant themes of childhood consumerism (and of this blog) is "hopeful expectation vs. painful reality." So for a change, I thought I'd focus on a place that consistently managed to surpass my youthful hopes... Rock City Gardens in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

If you've traveled on highways that lead anyplace near Chattanooga you have seen a multitude of roadside advertisements urging you to "See Rock City." Rock City is in that family of American attractions that are akin to using extreme repetition to wear down, and lure in interstate travelers. (Other examples are Wall Drug, South of the Border, and Stuckey's.) Not only is this advertising technique effective, I consider the gauntlet of billboards to be a considerable part of the Rock City experience. After being subject to so many ads, passing by the Rock City exit can be downright painful. However, if you know Rock City to be your destination then the billboards can gradually ramp up your car's collective anticipation until the thought of arrival becomes all-consuming, and the level of excitement is almost agonizing. You can become so dependent upon seeing the next sign, that you start to feel as though you're being toyed with. A maddening twenty mile dry spell can suddenly erupt into a feast of four-in-a-row signs causing your brain to swell with pleasure-inducing dopamine.

The pleas to "See Rock City" come in several unique forms. Most notable are the old wooden barns that are painted up as billboards. Long ago, a Rock City rep named Clark Byers traveled surrounding areas offering free paint jobs to any farmer who didn't mind proclaiming Rock City's marketing message.


In the spirit of these barns, I once painted my own shed with the Rock City advert (see below).


Bird houses are another unconventional method of promoting the attraction.


Most common are the standard billboards. Prior to the 1990s the volume of these signs was far greater. I remember counting well over a hundred between Little Rock and Chattanooga. I must admit that I liked the ads better when they featured Rocky the gnome. Although I understand that Rock City's efforts to change with the times is one of the reasons it is still around.


The climax of the journey to the city of rock is the ascent up Lookout Mountain. The road is twisty, steep, and beautiful. And the streets are named after fictional characters like Peter Pan and Red Riding Hood. The magic kicks in well before you even see the Rock City parking lot.

Soon after you reach the glorious moment of arrival, a banjo-pickin, animatronic gnome greets you in front of the main building. After a pass through aisles of souvenirs, a ticket gains you access through the back door to the winding pathway of delights. Unlike other garden attractions, Rock City has many distinct points of interest. There are rock formations, overlooks, bridges, passages, and even a group of white deer. Each feature has a mystical name like "Goblin's Overpass" and "Eye of the Needle." Colorful ceramic gnomes hide throughout the park giving the kiddies something to do while the grown ups debate the types of foliage. Here are "artists renderings" of some of the highlights that were taken from a vintage book of postcards...

Lovers Leap


The 1,000-ton balanced rock.

The experience culminates at the Fairyland Caverns, a man-made "cave" full of blacklight-sensitive 3-D dioramas of popular nursery rhymes. I remember my folks commenting that something so artificial was out of place and anticlimactic in relation to the natural wonders. But when I was little it was the perfect topper to an already amazing experience.

After encircling one final, dazzling Farilyland display the tour comes to an end. But the day isn't over yet! There's one more opportunity to scour the gift shop for ways to bring home some magic. Here are a couple mementos that I have...

The miraculous penny in a bottle.

In the midst of the self-guided tour there is a booth where you can sit while a lady cuts out a custom silhouette profile from black construction paper. This was supposed to be me in 1977.

Here's an old window decal

Rocky adorns the sack that contains your precious new souvenirs.
But don't let him boss you around regarding your next stop. It's your vacation.

By now, you might suspect that I'm some sort of Rock City shill, but really I'm just a long-time patron who's happy that such a place exists and thankful that it has withstood the post-Disney tourism slump and continues to thrive. So please, by all means... See Rock City.

For more information visit the official Rock City web site.

FROM GAYLA TO GALAGA

The "Baby Bat" kite from Gayla is the quintessential kite design in my mind. It was around before my time, and it's still available to the kids of today. Although, while I had my fair share of kites, and I admired the monster-like nature of this one, I never actually chose to purchase "the bat." The reason is laughable now, but while I was growing up I thought that bloodshot eyes were gross. Just looking at them made me squint and turn away.

Anyway, I saw one of these kites on ebay recently and as I studied the alluring display card I noticed something for the first time. Those oh, so repulsive blood vessels in the eyes actually spell out the manufacturer's name "Gayla." Now that is cool.

Another trivial thought occurred as I studied the design.. the logo for the video game Galaga sure looks similar to Gayla's; it even has the stars flying around it. So there you have it...Believe it or NOT!