SECRET FUN BLOG

1964 JET ROCKET SPACE SHIP

2012-01-13T15:45:00.000-06:00

Recently, a 1964 Jet Rocket Space Ship by Honor House was offered on ebay for $1500. Like its tank and submarine counterparts, the rocket is made up of cardboard pieces. This is the first time I've seen this particular "checker board" design in real life and it's also the first time I've seen one of these in unused and unassembled. The auction has ended, but I grabbed the photos for posterity.

"GET A LIFE" THE MAIL-ORDER SUB EPISODE

2012-01-13T15:09:00.000-06:00

Several folks have pointed out this episode of "Get A Life" which centers around a mail-order submarine that arrives decades after it was first ordered in 1971.

COMIC AD PARODIES

2012-01-13T14:56:00.005-06:00

A couple of professional comic ad parodies via Bully's Comics...

From What The--? #5 (July 1989), by Marc Siry and Russ Heath (who illustrated the original 132 Roman Soldiers ad)

From Avengers 1½ (December 1999)

I also just discovered this Mad Magazine parody of a Johnson Smith and Co. Catalog via Doug Gliford's Mad Cover Site, click to enlarge...

THE JOKE'S ON PEE-WEE

2011-12-17T01:21:00.000-06:00

Here's the latest in my unending effort to document the appearances of S.S. Adams brand pranks in television and film. (previous sightings here and here.) This time I've spotted some gems adorning the walls of the hallowed Pee-Wee's Playhouse. A more appropriate home there could not be.

As you are well aware, Pee-Wee ends each episode by opening a hidden panel that conceals his beloved scooter before embarking on a world-wide road trip. If one were to take a screenshot of the eclectic decor covering the secret door it might look like this...

Hidden among the vintage ephemera, the jumbo plastic scissors, the Wacky Wall Walker, the plastic skull, the black fuzzy dice, the rubber face puppet, and the J.R. Bob Dobbs are a few items I'd like to point out.

Note the magenta-colored package in the upper right corner...

That's none other than a genuine 1960's era S.S. Adams Smokie Mule, seen in lung-filling action here...

For those consumers who found the notion of a smoking mule offensive Adams offered a smoking dog...

And if you don't mind moving your eyeballs slightly to the left and following the arrows...

You'll witness the Adams coin changer trick, mint in original stretch-pak. (Note my sophisticated collectors' jargon.)

It's not Adams brand, but the other item is this classic "Hanging Skeleton" from an era when hanging skeletons didn't need trendy brand names determined by extensive market research.

And the red item centered on the right...

...is an early package of "Whoops" brand fake vomit by the H. Fishlove Company.

Hats off to Pee-Wee and Gary Panter (who did the show's set design) for understanding the greatness of these classic items and using them to further enhance our Saturday mornings.

Boy, wouldn't it be great to see annotated photos of the entire playhouse? Please Mr. Internet, make it so.

MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES E-BOOK NOW AVAILABLE

2011-12-16T23:40:00.004-06:00

Hi everybody! If lack of shelf space has been keeping you from ordering Mail-Order Mysteries then you may be interested to know that it's now available as an e-book on the iTunes iBook iStore, just iClick here. It's currently nineteen bucks.

The book has continued to exceed my wildest hopes. It ranked #9 in "Hardcover Humor" on the Wall Street Journal bestsellers list. It was one of USA Today's best graphic novels of 2011 and has gotten sweet coverage on LA Times, The Onion AV Club, Laughing Squid, Superpunch, Bookgasm, Strange Kids Club and Forces of Geek to name a handful. Also Tom Scharpling of The Best Show on WFMU, a cultural hero of mine, tweeted that it was Legitimately fascinating and fun.

Lastly, Steve Shive of "Steve Likes to Curse" made a really wonderful video review. His is the reaction I was hoping to get. (And by the way Steve, the way you pronounce my last name is totally accurate in its country of origin, however the Americanized version rhymes with "embarrass.")

THE "LOST" MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES

2011-12-06T08:00:00.003-06:00

As I worked on the layouts for my book Mail-Order Mysteries, the limited number of pages quickly became my enemy. In fact, early in the process Kevin Toyama, my amazing editor, was granted a request to bump up the page count to better accommodate all the goodies. But even with the added space there were a number of items that didn't make it. Some never even appeared in the rough layouts and some kept getting shifted around before finally getting cut at the last minute. But thanks to the internet these images needn't go unseen, actually you will be looking at them in just a few seconds!
I should clarify that none of the deleted products would have received a write-up, rather they were going to serve as little extras throughout the book.

12 Ivory Elephants in a Bean- Of all the omissions this one is probably the most heartbreaking for me. It's such an awesomely bizarre product and I've talked to a number of people who are very enthusiastic about them. They were available apart from comic advertising, and I think they're actually still being produced. As you see the "elephants" are nothing more than rectangular flecks of ivory with a few slits in them for appendages. Now that I think of it I'm not sure why I didn't make these a full page entry to begin with. Stupid, stupid!!

Fully Furnished Doll House- This is another regrettable cut mainly because it was a pretty popular ad and it exemplifies the "it's actually made of cardboard" principle. It actually came with a little packet of seeds for growing a real "lawn." This belongs to my friend Eddie of HouseOfTheUnusual.com who supplied a lot of the rarest stuff in the book.

Whack Jack Tension Reliever- This is a fun item but the poor guy already looks so world-weary that it doesn't feel right to smash him. I remember these being sold in my mom's catalogs like Lillian Vernon and Harriet Carter.

Spook Hand- I love the great illustrations and the spooky approach. These were available in monster magazines as well as comics. The Spook Hand was a product of H. Fishlove, makers of fake vomit and jumbo sunglasses. This was a part of a really cool "party prank" kit that I demonstrated here.

Franco American's Shock Book- A classic item, but I'd already covered plenty of pranks. Unlike the Joy Buzzer which simply vibrates, the Shock Book really gives a mild electric shock. (courtesy of Eddie at HouseOfTheUnusual.com)

The Secret Agent Periscope- It's cool but I'd already included the Secret Spy Scope which was a comic book staple for years. Plus, this ad didn't appear very often. It works better than the Spy Scope and seems a bit more practical especially considering the Spy Scope's weak magnification. However the mirror in mine has been dislodged so I don't spend nearly as much time at my neighbor's privacy fence.

Moto-Bot- Being from 1985 this is the most recent Mail-Order Mystery but that's the main reason it didn't quite gel with the rest of the stuff in the book.
Do I even have to mention that it's a cheap GoBots/Transformers knock-off? Oops, too late. I did make certain to find the exact model that's pictured in the ad, a fact I'm both proud and ashamed of. Say, I'll bet I could secure the Moto-Bots film rights for a song.

Martial Arts Patches- These garden variety patches are the kind of thing I would have worn thinking it would scare off adversaries, only to discover they create a bully-tempting effect.

Flipit Frankenstein- I've always liked this thing because for one it's Frankenstein, and it's also sort of a hybrid of a couple types of comic book novelties. Giant monsters in comic offers were always either balloons or two dimensional images and this is both. But the Flipits are to be commended for their forthright advertising and use of officially licensed characters.

These guys are wonderful but I didn't have a full ad for them. The illustration above shows up as a design element on a full page advert for an outfit called the "House of Laffs." I've seen them available in novelty distribution catalogs but never direct-to-consumer. You may wonder why this matters. I have no idea. Incidentally, the devil head is very similar to the one that appears on The Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner and the Mystic Seer fortune telling machine.

Bleeding Skull Candle- As it is, the book is populated with quite a lot of skulls but one really shouldn't put a limit on such a thing. (a skull-cap... brilliant!) I bought one of these only to discover that it was slightly misshapen so I used a heat-based skull re-shaping treatment that I developed myself. I ended up ruining it. So months later I found another one at an almost decent price and there he is. Add those up (plus shipping) and that's over fifty bucks I spent for what turned out to be a nice blog decoration. I don't mean to sound bitter but that's roughly twice my annual skull candle budget.

150 Civil War Soldiers- This is a nifty set with a great ad, but in the soldier section the book already covers WWII Army men, Revolutionary Soldiers, Roman Soldiers, Knights in armor, and Pirates. For some reason these have the honor of being even flimsier and more poorly crafted than any of the others.

Abracadabra catalog- Funny how the illustration in the ad looks oversimplified when actually it's almost photo-realistic aside from the exaggerated colors. (courtesy of Eddie at HouseOfTheUnusual.com)

250 Magic Tricks- Yup, it's a magic book much like the one in the picture. I must say that swami guy in the ad sure looks amazing.

The Apple Worm Bank- This one is missed because it rings familiar with many people. The fact that it was widely available is actually one of the reasons I didn't give it full coverage, and I already included a couple other coin banks. Photography-wise I was quite pleased with my chalkboard/school desk backdrop, smug even. Thus the adage "pride comes before the fall."

And here's a photograph that there just wasn't a place for. In the early 1990s my pal Eddie (yes, of the House of the Unusual) revived a mail-order company called the Fun Factory. Their ads appeared in DC comics and Eddie tore open envelopes stuffed with change and fulfilled the orders with classic funmakers. This was the last time many of these things would ever be found in the pages of comic books. Anyway, the photo is a stack of actual coupons that were mailed in from kids all over the country.

This seems like an appropriate place to share a few behind the scenes photos too. Here's a shot of one of my state of the art photography studios...

And here's the picture I took which does appear in the book...

Here's my portable set up that I hauled up to New Jersey where my friend Eddie lives (he runs some web site, I'll have to look that up.) Those utility lamps cost upwards of six dollars (or one fifth the price of a vintage skull candle).

The setup consists of a light tent, a laptop, a power strip, extension chords and a scanner, everything you need to give the TSA cause to search you at every opportunity. When I arrived home the scanner had magically transformed into a plastic box full of glass shards.

Here's me in my kitchen setting up a shot of "floating" magic tricks...

After some photoshopping, here's the result...

For the shot of the "Smokie Pet," a plastic dog that smokes fake cigarettes that you really light, I thought it would be funny to photograph him standing on a bed of ashes in front of a raging fire (Get it? Because kids could burn down their houses.) Here was my solution which took hours to set up...

I managed to snap the photo before that cardboard box ignited and fell out of the fireplace. It didn't cause any damage because I doused it with a precautionary bucket of water. The gallons of ash-water required much effort to clean up, but I got my precious shot...

Lastly, there are another set of items that I consider "lost." As I compiled the products for the book I often asked myself "What am I missing that folks will want to see?" Now that I've heard so much great feedback I can answer that. The most asked-about items that are not covered are the "build your own hovercraft plans" and the "monkey in a tea cup."

I'm well aware of the ad for the do-it-yourself hovercraft but since I already had the remote control hovercraft represented as well as several sets of plans, I didn't include them. I even had access to these very plans. You see, I have this friend named Eddie who owns them.

There were many monkey ads but the tea cup really stuck in the collective memory. These "pets" were indeed real, often causing harm to their new owners when first released. Ideally I hoped to get my hands on a photo of a genuine mail-order monkey but that never happened. I was tempted to use a stock photo of a Rhesus or Squirrel monkey, but I eventually decided that everyone knows what a monkey looks like. (That's the same reason I didn't cover the 411 piece fishing set, one of the hoped-for items of an Amazon reviewer.)

This concludes our tour of the extraneous mail-order mysteries. I hope you had as much fun viewing them as I did researching, buying, photographing and then deleting them.

THE JP SHOW

2011-12-06T07:09:00.000-06:00

And in the "almost too late to be worth mentioning" news there was an excellent art show over the weekend called The JP (Just People) Show. It was curated by the amazing artist Brandon Bird and features a number of artists' depictions of the humans from the Jurassic Park films, no dinosaurs allowed.

It was my honor to participate in the event and I decided to pay tribute to a human who helped contribute to the success of the franchise early on, Chip Kidd....

In addition to being a personal influence and cultural hero of mine, Chip designed the book cover for Michael Crichton's best selling novel which helped establish him as the most revered book cover designer of our time. In Mr. Kidd's live presentations he likes to point out that he traced the famous dinosaur bone profile from an illustration in a book and then simplified it and converted it into silhouette. Thus the title of the piece is "Chip Kidd breaks new ground in the art of book cover design by simply tracing an image from "Vertebrate Paleontology And Evolution" by Robert L. Carroll." Chip was quite surprised when his work became the central image in the film's marketing and merchandising campaign.

Check out more of the work on Brandon's site

WORLD OF THE UNEXPLAINED MUSEUM BROCHURE

2011-12-03T04:47:00.009-06:00

Cryptozoologist Robert Robinson shares with us a rare look at a vintage brochure for the "World of the Unexplained" museum formerly located in Gatlinburg Tennessee...

Yes that is a naked woman. To explain the Unexplained, it's a statue based on a witch named Monique Wilson. Thanks to this paragraph, this post will bring a whole new set of Googler's.

The museum was open from 1972 to 1985 and was owned by Ripley's (as in Believe It or Not). It was originally called the Museum of Witchcraft and Magic but the name was changed to give it wider appeal.

Here's a brochure for their San Francisco location that I grabbed from ebay...

Few things embody "creepy" like gritty 1970s unexplained phenomenon documentaries. Imagine the terror of walking into one.

UPDATE: Robert also shares this great postcard from the museum's witchcraft days...

DARLING PET MUNKEE

2011-12-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

Darling Pet Munkee is a "garage/surf rock supergroup" that's offering a free seven song EP based entirely on comic book mail-order ads.

From their press release...
"Sea-Monkeys, X-Ray Specs, and a necklace full of soil from Dracula’s castle are among the many bizarre items that were sold in comic-book ads of yore. Garage/surf rock supergroup Darling Pet Munkee aims to tell the tales of these lost items in song. For the next 6 months, the band will be releasing one song a month - with accompanying history - examining the bizarre knick-knacks sold via these misleading ads that promised fighting skills, wondrous creatures, and grand journeys."

The songs can be heard and freely downloaded here.
The stories and history behind each song can be found here.

It's great seeing others take creative inspiration from these beloved advertisements. It makes me feel like less of a freak.

MAIL-ORDER MASK OF THE GHOST RIDER

2011-11-09T22:23:00.001-06:00

The proud owner of this mail-away Ghost Rider mask shares with us this nifty photo of his super-rare collectible. This version of Ghost Rider originated with a comics publisher called Magazine Enterprises but after the trademark lapsed Marvel put out their own version of the character which was eventually named Phantom Rider.

Here's the comic book ad which looks to be from the 1950s...

The actual product is simple yet cool looking (aside from the unavoidable KKK comparison). Plus it possesses that perfect, ever-endearing quality— it glows in the dark.

Unfortunately, it seems that I'll be mentally singing Ghost Riders in the Sky for the next week or so.

NEW HAUNTED HOME FOR PHANTASMAGORIA PROPS

2011-11-09T21:52:00.002-06:00

Every time I think the story of my favorite defunct dark ride has come to an end it seems that a new chapter opens up. Recently I reported that several props from the Phantasmagoria were being sold off at the Vintage Tulsa antique show. Many fans came to the event just to see these pieces of Tulsa history one last time. However, I just got word that these spooks aren't dead yet, they're just moving.

About a half dozen gags from the "Phantaz" were purchased by Trimper's amusement park of Ocean City, MD to be installed in their historic Haunted House! Trimper's Haunted House is one of the most beloved dark rides of its kind and one of the last eight surviving attractions designed by spookhouse mastermind Bill Tracy who was also responsible for the Phantasmagoria.

Brandon Seidl, founder of Trimper’s Haunted House Online, tells me that the props which include the "skull cave" and the "coffin skeleton" are expected to be in place by Spring 2012. Trimper's is renowned for the pride they take in their history, and I can't think of a more appropriate location for this collection of scaries. I see a Maryland vacation in my future.

You can take a look at the classic haunted house in this photographic walkthrough or better yet, a video ride-though.

WORLD'S DEADLIEST TATTOO

2011-11-08T02:04:00.005-06:00

An upstanding individual by the name of Jeremy has blown me away with his Count Dante: Deadliest Man Alive tattoo, based on the legendary ad...

Not only is the concept brilliant the artistry is excellent, I can't imagine a better translation from ad to arm. Check out his Flickr Feed for a closer look.

But that's not all, Jeremy has curated what is possibly the most appealing assembly of body art that I have witnessed. Lando Calrissian himself would have made for a fine subject, but this is Kenner action figure Lando!...

...and while you're still reeling from that, BAM! it's Vincent from The Black Hole!

Thank you Jeremy for brightening our day, one limb at a time.

THE HAUNTED MANSION STORY ANIMATED

2011-10-31T02:22:00.001-05:00

Story and Song from the Hanted Mansion from David Witt.

H-A-LL-O-W-EE-N SPELLS HALLOWEEN

2011-10-29T17:40:00.001-05:00

Jason Willis of the legendary Scar Stuff blog among other things, has bestowed on us another celebratory Halloween video inspired by the haunts of yesteryear. This is his stop motion interpretation of Kay Lande and Wade Denning's classic song "Halloween." It does a fantastic job of capturing what is so endearing about this time of year. Read all about his creative process here. And please, PLEASE don't forget to have a happy Halloween!

CSA FLAT FILE

2011-10-29T17:12:00.002-05:00

If you savor the look of vintage ink printed on vintage paper, do yourself a favor and visit CSA Flat File. The site "features current projects from CSA Images, including the daily feature Paper Cuts, a full-bleed source of printed inspiration curated from the millions of images that make up the CSA archives. Paper Cuts span the history of design and preserve the legacy of ink on paper in the digital age"

KEVIN KIDNEY AND JODY DAILY

2011-10-27T00:06:00.003-05:00

For years Kevin Kidney and Jody Daily have created a breathtaking assortment of artifacts for the Disney parks drawing inspiration from yesteryear's best Disney designs. Their body of work is truly phenomenal, placing them high among my personal creative heroes.

If you like to treat your eyes well then I recommend visiting this gallery of nearly all of their creations, as well as Kevin's Portfolio and Blog.
If you need further convincing I invite you to take a hard look at the following delights...

Ceramic replicas of vintage concession packaging...

Paper sculpture that cannot be fully appreciated unless enlarged

original illustrations by Kevin Kidney, Boy and Girl with Disneyland souvenirs

Tin Signs

60 YEARS OF TALKING TEETH

2011-10-27T00:01:00.002-05:00

Collectors Weekly has a nice article about the history of wind-up chattering teeth, the products they inspired, and the historic H. Fishlove novelty company.

KID-CUSTOMIZED FUN HOUSE CATALOG

2011-10-25T17:54:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid I would have gotten along very well with Rick Nagel. When his novelty "Fun Catalog" began to fall apart due to heavy use Ricky, as he was known back then, designed an all-new cover featuring products like the Snake Nut Can, the Hypo-Phony, a Frankenstein mask, and a boomerang.

His filled-in order form still reveals his wish list: a rubber bloody hand, a spud gun and a color-changing handkerchief.

Rick explains why the order remained unsent, "I distinctly remember panicking when I realized I had failed to follow their admonishment to PRINT ORDER CLEARLY. My 12 year old brain convinced me they would not honor my order due to the scribblings and it was never sent."

He did however, obtain a phony hot dog which was met with the standard disappointment.
"When the rubber hot dog finally arrived it was a big, fat, curved, old-fashioned butcher style frankfurter, not the straight skinless ballpark type hot dog Mom always bought. No way Dad was gonna fall for that"

Thanks Rick for sharing this little piece of history. May your days be abundant with rubber bloody hands.

NEW YORK COMIC CON + ME

2011-10-12T21:29:00.006-05:00

Hey folks! I'll be at New York Comic Con this weekend celebrating the release of Mail-Order Mysteries. I'll be signing books on Saturday, Oct. 15 from 1-3 PM at the Insight Editions booth #1939. (Plus I imagine I'll be checking in at the booth throughout the Con.) They'll be giving away the cool pinback buttons that you may have seen pictured on the Secret Fun Blog a few seconds ago.

I like saying hi to people so feel free to come by and say hi.

MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES NOW AVAILABLE!

2011-10-12T01:39:00.004-05:00

After five years of development, and dreaming about it long before that, my new book Mail-Order Mysteries is finally available nationwide in bookstores and online! The delays are over and it's officially in stock on Amazon. That fine lookin' video up there is the official book trailer, I'm incredibly thankful to my friend Scott Kinney for producing it.

I've been blessed with loads of great press and even more to come. It was featured in a story on Huffington Post, it inspired an article in the New York Post, and got a mention on io9.com.

While you're waiting for your copy to arrive, feel free to read the interview I did for WIRED GeekDad, or you can hear me talk about it on BoingBoing.net's Gweek podcast.

And here are some sweet blurbs...

"If childhood disappointment could ever be considered an art form, then Mail-Order Mysteries is a masterpiece. Really. The metaphors for life itself are inescapable, the disillusion heartbreakingly laid bare, the tackiness a drug you just can't quit."
- Chip Kidd, graphic designer and author of Bat-Manga!

“If I could put one thing in a time machine to send back to my eight-year-old self, it would be Mail-Order Mysteries. This book would have saved me dozens of allowances and hundreds of glacial hours spent standing on the porch waiting for the mailman to arrive. I always knew there was something fishy about those ‘Gigantic Dinosaurs!’”
—Mark Waid, writer of Kingdom Come and Irredeemable

“Mail-Order Mysteries reveals the secrets behind those too-good-to-be-true gizmos advertised in the comic books of my youth. What a mind-blower!”
—Mark Frauenfelder, cofounder of Boing Boing

Unlike most of the items it showcases, Mail-Order Mysteries delivers the goods.
—John Booth, WIRED GeekDad

"It is...genius." —NeedCoffee.com

"just as magical and weird as the goods it chronicles."
—Comics Worth Reading

"Anyone who loves old comics both for the comics and the ads will have a great time reading this one."
—Comics Bulliten

What was that Amazon link again? oh, yeah, HERE IT IS!

THE ELECTROSTATIC GENERATOR!

2011-10-12T01:36:00.003-05:00

The Electrostatic Generator is an item that was sold in comic books for decades, yet in all of my years of scouring eBay I've never seen one pop up. In fact I've never been able to find even a single image of one anywhere on the world wide web. Thus it was one of my wish list items for Mail-Order Mysteries that remained a mystery.

...Until now! Thanks to David of the bookmark-deserving Gorillas Don't Blog blog, we the Internet can gaze upon the Electrostatic Generator!...

It's smaller than I originally imagined, of course, but it did indeed light up. David says, "You'd hold it by the bottom brass ball, rub your feet on the carpet, and the touch the ball on the end with the little light bulb. The bulb would issue a faint orange flicker, for fractions of a second." So it's not exactly good for a spare flashlight, but it sounds like enough to keep a kid intrigued for a while.

Thanks for sharing David!

PHANTASMAGORIA, DEARLY DEPARTED

2011-10-12T01:19:00.005-05:00

I've blogged numerous times about the defunct dark ride, the Phantasmagoria, formerly of Bell's Amusement Park in Tulsa, Oklahoma, but this may be my final post. Though a scaled down version of the park recently reopened, the pieces of the beloved dark ride are being sold off.

However, if you happen to be a Phataz enthusiast with money to burn, you have one last chance to own a piece of Tulsa history. Some of the props will be for sale at the Vintage Tulsa Show this weekend at the SpiritBank Event Center. For more information see their web site.

Here are some of the items that will be there...

UPDATE: Here are a couple pics from the show thanks to Kelly Scott...

IMAGINEERING MONSTER MAKE-UP DOCUMENTARY

2011-09-12T19:00:00.000-05:00

Imagineering! from David Hansen-Sturm on Vimeo.

It made the rounds a while ago but somehow I neglected to post this amazing mini-documentary on the Imagineering Halloween make-up company. One of my favorite experiences while researching Mail-Order Mysteries, was talking with Larry Liff the founder of the company and inventor of plastic fangs! Watch the video to hear him discuss the genesis of the company and a time when fake vampire blood was assumed to be deadly.

8-BIT HOUSE OF HORROR

2011-09-12T18:46:00.006-05:00

(click it for hugeness)

Hiya folks! This Friday the Gallery 1988, Venice Beach location is debuting an artistic tribute to old school video games and I was more than happy to contribute. House of Horror is my attempt to merge two of my favorite things: classic arcade games and amusement park dark rides. (Yet again I was influenced by the Phantasmagoria.) I used a dayglo color pallet based on vintage Halloween decorations to tie it all together.

If you're near Santa Monica this weekend please visit the gallery and tell my painting that I already miss it.

Better yet, you could buy the original and talk to it all the time.

MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES PREVIEW!

2011-08-31T03:30:00.010-05:00

Behold one of the few copies of Mail-Order Mysteries that exists in the United States! [UPDATE: IT'S AVAILABLE NOW!] The rest are somewhere on a slow boat from China, but while the noble captain braves the seven seas I invite you to rest your eyes on this exclusive sneak peek at a dozen of the one hundred and fifty-six pages within. Click 'em to see much larger images...

The book covers a variety of toy solders, also known as Comic Book Flats

My pal Eddie Guevara of HouseOfTheUnusual.com online novelty shop supplied the "book safe" as well as some of the rarest items in the volume.

This spread appears in my favorite section of the book,"House of Horrors."

Raymond Castile, monster kid and curator of the Gallery of Monster Toys, photographed his amazing collection of Topstone brand masks for the cause.

Sea-Monkeys are essential, in this book and in life.

This is my interpretation of a bargain "Surprise Package" which were offered by most novelty distributors and usually consisted of discontinued items.

Oh, and one other thing...

!!!

The book should be available everywhere by UPDATE: October 11th so if you pre-order from Amazon now, you can experience a highly appropriate four-to-six week wait, just like a kid ordering from his first comic book ad. But hopefully this mail-order mystery will not disappoint.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF NOVELTIES

2011-08-22T18:42:00.000-05:00

Earlier this year Devlin Thompson directed me by way of AltJapan to the site of a Japanese collector that is one of the great treasures of the internet by my assessment. It features the best and most comprehensive assembly of 1960s and 70s era (they call them Showa Era) novelties that I've ever seen. Much of it is the same stuff Americans got through comic book ads, souvenir shops, and dime stores, and some is even more freaky. The author of the site often includes catalog clippings that look like the Japanese versions of the Johnson Smith Company catalog. Best I can tell, the collector actually owns and photographs all of the items.

As a service to mankind I've provided some handy links to my favorite parts of the site. Since it's written in Japanese all of the following links run through the Google translator. Here we go...

I'm obligated to start with the Home Page, the first few links are galleries of badges which are interesting, but it's the next stuff that I'm crazy about. The "What's that Thing?" collection is a directory of galleries that includes the following amazing subsections...

Novelty and Wind-Up toys
Pranks
Money Banks
Keychains
Useful Gadgets
Souvenirs
Toys and Magic Tricks
Nostalgic Gifts for Children
Toy Memories from the webmaster

There's also
Character Toys
Directory of Plastic Trinkets
and his Blog

To demonstrate the level of incredibleness that I'm talking about I did some willy-nilly image grabbing from all over the site. It's like a massage for the eyes.

MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES, MY NEW BOOK AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER!

2011-08-19T01:03:00.002-05:00

Hi folks! I'd like to finally announce my upcoming book, Mail-Order Mysteries! For over a decade I've been tracking down actual products that were sold in novelty ads from vintage comic books and in this book I compare the wild marketing claims with over 150 of the actual products. The concept is loosely based on a section of the Secret Fun Spot that I put together nearly ten years ago, though much more extensive and polished. Mail-Order Mysteries, is slated for a late September release (the date on Amazon isn't quite correct) by Insight Editions, and can be pre-ordered at Amazon. I'm happy to report that the hardbound, 156-page volume is only $13.57!

If you're in an extra supportive mood, feel free to click the Facebook "Like" button on the Amazon page. I've learned that even something like that (not to mention the pre-orders themselves) can affect the size of Amazon's second order.

In upcoming weeks I'll talk more about its origins and share sneak peeks and a number of entries that didn't make the final cut. Stay tuned!

AZIZ ANSARI CRITIQUES MY ART

2011-08-19T01:00:00.000-05:00

Ha! I just discovered that my Human Giant portrait for "Is This Thing On" is one of several pieces of fan art that actor/comedian Aziz Ansari critiqued on complex.com.
HERE's the brief video.

He says that he doesn't remember being shirtless in a Human Giant sketch, and he is incorrect. This sketch was my source material for his torso (his head came from another). He also claims that he would never say during a portrait shoot, "you know what guys, let me take my shirt off." I say he's wrong again.

SUMMER'S STUFF

2011-08-14T04:55:00.002-05:00

(photo gets huge when you click it)

As a life-long collector I think it's interesting to watch the ebb and flow of my ongoing collections. My interests and my resources teeter totter, and each of the four seasons has an effect on my taste in nostalgia. Winter usually causes cravings for old video games, and Spring reminds me of bike rides to the 1-Stop Mart for Wacky Packages and comic books. This summer I've gone after a few reminders of the open road which is common, and something got me on a premium toy kick early on.

My debilitating geekiness caused me to lay out my bounty from the past few months to see a literal snapshot of the stuff that's come into my possession this Summer, making note of the various means of acquisition, and of course, posting it on the world wide web as a questionable form of entertainment.

So, referring to the above photo, starting clockwise from the upper left corner...

-Greetings from Route 66 book by Voyageur Press- I have my share of Route 66 books but visually, this one's my favorite. It's jammed with beautiful vintage postcards, restaurant menus, and souvenirs. Found it on ebay for five bucks plus shipping.

-The Lincoln Highway book by Michael Wallis and Michael S. Williamson- Having been up and down Route 66 so many times, I'm having fun discovering another vast stretch of American road with its own unique landmarks and attractions. This book will cause me many road trips.

-His and Hers Mod Kooky Komb- A product of Mego, better known for their line of "World's Greatest Super Hero" figures. This item is just nuts even by 1960s standards. My good friend Scott gave me this based on his strong understanding of my needs.

-The Party Survival Kit in a tin can- More about it later in this post.

-Waffle House scary logo plate- I'm not often faced with the temptation to steal, but thanks to this ebay purchase I will no longer have this moral dilemma. I wrote about this here.

-Vintage Stuckey's postcards- I found these three for a dollar in a modern day Stuckey's on I-70 in Indiana. That's like something I would have a dream about.

-Pitfall T-shirt- Happily discovered at Target. I've always loved that cartridge graphic and the way that Activision used the rainbow as a design motif on all of their games.

-Horrible Dog Figurine- Something irresistibly kitschy that one might find in yesteryear's souvenir shop. Formerly covered here.

-Shaky Bacon Wallet (by Dan Goodsell)- An anniversary gift from my lovely wife. So tempted to replace my dilapidated leather wallet with it, but I'm already such a man-child that it might push me into creepy status.

-McWrist Wallet Happy Meal toy- A cheap ebay grab that I've wanted since Jesse French's birthday party in first grade.

-Vintage cereal premiums- All ebay finds, including a Creeping Monster, Fruity Pebbles coin purses, Toucan Sam decoder ring, and the skull pen I detailed here.

-Vintage travel brochures- Flea market finds by my wife who knows me well enough to pick the very best ones.

I will highlight a couple items. First, the Creeping Monster that came in boxes of Honeycomb cereal in 1976. I was too young to know about them at the time, but ever since I gazed into the realm of vintage cereal prizes they've always been high on my want list. I am extremely tempted to open it...

Brandon of the excellent Waffle Whiffer Zone blog has the original box, of course. That art is phenomenal!..

The other item deserving extra attention is this "Party Survival Kit" from 1966, by American Publishing Corp. APC put out a bizarre assortment of gifts which included a bunch of jigsaw puzzles that were also packaged in tin cans, wooden novelty signs, and the Presto Magix rub-off graphic sets (assuming that's the same outfit).

Speaking of graphics, that's what I love about the survival kit, especially the generic party drunk, the off-kilter borders, and those great, happy typefaces one on top of the other.

APC were the go-to folks for canned non-foods, and I love it when companies really reach to come up with new products to fit their format. The can makes it the epitome of a novelty. It also means that if I want to see what's inside I must ruin it. I can hear stuff rattling around in there, although the cargo seems sparse and lightweight. Here's the cleverly worded list of contents...

And here's my interpretation...
Pin the tail on the quail game = ?
20 miniature safety flares = birthday candles
Pneumatic party rouser = party blower
Hors d' oeuvres starter kit = toothpicks
Acetyl of Salicylic acid Tranquilizer = Aspirin

All of it sounds pretty lame, but what about that quail game? And why quail? What if it's a cool poster illustrated by the same person who drew the drunk? This single question is the reason that yet again I'm tormented with the age-old collectors' conundrum... to break the seal or not. Truly one of life's most fruitless mysteries. Although, it is cool to think that also inside is the forty-five year old air from a novelty factory.

I'M A STRANGE KID

2011-08-14T01:00:00.000-05:00

The first time I visited the Strange Kids Club I took one look at the wood paneled background with the collage of posters behind the cool looking puppet and thought.."my people." Inevitably our paths crossed and I recently had the pleasure of doing an interview with Editor-in-Chief, Rondall Scott III. In it I discuss my usual passions: collecting, nostalgia, art, novelties and being a strange kid. Click on this line of text and the contents of your browser will literally change into the page with the interview.

SPOOK SHOW POSTER SHIRTS AT TARGET

2011-08-11T21:57:00.002-05:00

I noticed that Target has a line of T-shirts based on vintage promotional posters for events like concerts, circuses, rodeos, etc. and at least two of them are inspired by Spook Shows, although they are watered down versions of real poster designs. They're still pretty cool. They are available here and here (this one's for boys only.)

This sent me searching online for tees bearing authentic Spook Show imagery and I did find some through Cafe Press and Zazzle like these, however I haven't paid $25 for a t-shirt since that Weezer concert in 1995.

DINOSAUR WORLD GIFT SHOP/RESTAURANT DESTROYED IN FIRE

2011-08-07T15:11:00.006-05:00

Photo by Richard Carlsen

UPDATE: The fire was "likely arson"

Fun Blog reader Becky Koester just shared with me the sad news that the main building on the former grounds of Dinosaur World in Beaver Springs, AR has burned to the ground. Here's the full story, though details are sparse.

The park has been closed since 2005 but many former patrons have held onto hopes that it would be refurbished at some point. The Secret Fun blog has become an internet stop for folks wishing to share updates and memories about the defunct attraction because of a post I wrote in 2008. The comments section is populated with a number of people who are related to the former owners. Here's how the building appeared in 2007...

WAFFLE HOUSE OF HORRORS

2011-08-06T12:20:00.002-05:00

Recently I've been living out a long-time dream. A Waffle House just opened in town! In fact, it's open right now, no matter what time, or what day you may be reading this, even if it's Christmas day. It's the only local dining room that's open past midnight, it's the only restaurant in town that offers breakfast all the time, and it's the only place that serves up that heavenly, ever-consistent Waffle House menu. It's also probably the closest we'll ever get to classic diner culture in these parts.

I've been a Waffle House enthusiast since I discovered it over two decades ago and I finally have one to call my own. In honor of the occasion I purchased some authentic Waffle House plates on ebay (seen above). Don't be confused by the sketchy logo, this plate design is legit, however it's been discontinued. Which brings me to the point of this post, that is, to celebrate this former alternate Waffle House logo that was featured on their second generation china. Could there be a better use of the internet?

By the way, I was able to determine the era thanks to the Waffle House Museum of Avondale, GA...

I guess that puts it in the silver age of Waffle House china.

So go ahead and have a good look at the logo...

How would you describe it? YES, spooky! That's exactly what I love about it. I cannot help but read it in a wavering ghost voice... "Waaaaaaaafffffffle Hooooooouuuussssee! Beeewaaaarrrrre! Weeeeeeooooooo!"

This fascinating logo has always been one of the great Waffle House mysteries to me. I have many questions...

1. Why didn't they use the standard letters-in-boxes logo from their sign?

2. Who drew it? An employee's nephew? I must say, it looks to me like a first try. The letters are of uneven height and spacing, and the line work is inconsistent and unsure. Not to judge, I could say the same thing about my own drawings. And yet this was accepted and reproduced and buried by hashbrowns hundreds of thousands of times. Is it intended to have a primitive charm? Or is it genuinely primitively charming?

3. Why does it look scary like that? My theory is that maybe it's supposed to resemble maple syrup. (While their main logo echos the design on a waffle.) But I don't know, what do you think?

Well I certainly do miss the logo. At least I did before I got my own set of plates. Say, you don't think Waffle House would think it odd if I brought my own plates to the restaurant and transferred the food onto them do you?! Gotta go!

I BOUGHT THE BEST/WORST THING IN BRANSON...

2011-08-05T22:48:00.003-05:00

...and here is it. It cost one dollar. Though she was silent, I could tell that the cashier was desperately trying to understand why this hollow, eerily human-faced canine was the only thing in her vast flea market to catch my eye. I watched with a grin as she took time to carefully wrap the little atrocity in protective newspaper before placing it in a disproportionately large bag. I will love/hate it always.

1978 TRAVELER'S NOVELTY CATALOG

2011-07-31T23:39:00.003-05:00

We see so much cool stuff pass across our screens each day that I'm afraid I'm starting to grow desensitized to awesomeness. But here's one fruit of the internet that I won't soon forget. Last October the über collector known as Toyranch shared a complete set of scans of a 1978 catalog from the Traveler Trading Company. The set got some attention but I think it's worth revisiting since it's full so much eyeball-pleasing stuff.

As you are about to see, Traveler was a novelty distributor that offered a wide array of glorious plastic goodies such as toys, jokes, magic tricks, trinkets, cake decorations, carnival prizes and yes, masks. Many of these very items have found themselves in my own collection.

I find it interesting that my pal and novelty biz royalty, Chris Adams, was actually on the Traveler's payroll for a time before taking the reigns at the S.S. Adams prank and magic company. Traveler reached its final destination in the 1990s and Gary, the man in the werewolf mask, is no longer with us.

The catalog can be viewed on Toyranch's Flickr account, or for the sake of convenience and blog beautification I've placed them below. Furthermore, for anyone like myself who wishes to experience these to the fullest, I've compiled all the high-res pages in this downloadable PDF.

Thank you Toyranch for wrangling up this stampede of joy.

UPDATE: Thanks to Chris Adams, here's a more recent catalog cover that reveals the unmasked face of Gary the proprietor...

THE SKULL PEN

2011-07-29T14:58:00.001-05:00

I remember my dad showing up in the doorway of my bedroom one afternoon with this plastic skull-lidded ink pen that he'd pulled fresh from a cereal box. I'm still unclear as to why I wasn't aware that we possessed a prize bearing pack of cereal. I happily accepted the grinning utensil and proudly placed it on my desk.

Before long it was time to draw something spooky so I grabbed my new treasure and took pleasure in simply handling the skull cap as I removed it. Immediately I was faced with a common case of new pen ink flow blockage. So I tried the old loop de loop scribble technique to free up the ball point, but still no ink. All of my pen revitalizing procedures were fruitless and I was forced to accept that the coolest pen I owned did not function.

Still, I couldn't just throw away such a piece of art. For years I kept it wedged in my mug o' pens on its aesthetic merit alone. Ultimately, in a rare stuff-purging session I decided to toss it.

Recently, for whatever reason, the focus of my nostalgia has turned to old premium items: mail-aways, Happy Meal toys, and cereal prizes. The bony old pen popped up in a routine ebay session and the frustrating memory returned at once. Then I noticed the name of the auction and all became clear, "INVISIBLE INK MONSTER PEN- Post cereal premium."

I had no choice but to "win" the right to pay top dollar and redeem my childhood mistake.

Some further googling lead me to a familiar place, the Flickr stream of Brandon, AKA the Waffle Whiffer, a master of vintage food marketing, and thus the owner of all the Invisible Ink Monster Pens, as well as the Super Sugar Crisp box they originally came in...

It taught me that the invisible ink is revealed when it's wiped down with good old water.

And so, once again I am the owner of the green skeleton head invisible ink pen and best of all...

THE HUXTABLES IMPROVED AGAIN

2011-07-26T19:06:00.000-05:00

Well, well, if it isn't the very latest addition to my unending series of fictitious family portraits. Look familiar? Mighty brash of me to assume that anyone remembers my post from last December (which sadly, is only about five posts ago.) So, to recap... last year I made a custom Huxtables portrait for comedian/actor Nick Kroll but in a new twist he asked me to include the childhood incarnation of his friend (and comedian/SNL writer) John Mulaney. This is what it looked like...

Not long after that, one of my favorite entertainers in the world, Kristen Wiig (!) (of SNL and Bridesmaids fame) saw it and commissioned me to do something quite similar. She asked for the very same Huxtables portrait except with her long time beau, Brian Petsos in boy form. Thus the portrait at the top of this post.

Recreating an earlier piece was an interesting exercise for me. I tried not to use the first one as a reference, and ended up approaching it a bit differently. So somehow I've found myself in this cottage industry of inserting white people as their childhood selves into the Cosby Show family via colored pencil.

Equally crazy is the fact that it's all for the amazing Ms. Wiig. I mean, c'mon! For years I've been professing her genius and the fact that she's on par with all of the most notable SNL alumni. Making art for her was one of the greatest, wackiest honors I've had in my creative life.

MONSTER SIZE SKELETON WALLPAPER

2011-07-25T03:21:00.004-05:00

Hey folks, I just changed my desktop background to something more skeleton-y! If you'd like to do the same then by all means click on the pic and grab the full size image. Then consult a local computer repair service (possibly Best Buy) for instructions on how to apply it to your desktop. Remember, it's not your "screensaver!" Avoid that confusion and save yourself about 15 minutes of phone time right there, which saves you money considering their $85 an hour fee. But it's worth it. At least it was to me. Plus they defragged my hard drive and removed all my unwanted script kiddies, although that required three nights in the shop. : (

Ad courtesy of Todd at Neatocoolville!

CRAZY 4 CULT 5

2011-07-08T03:05:00.004-05:00

None More Black Light Poster
Florescent acrylic on art board

UPDATE: You can get original art from Crazy 4 Cult 5 here, and prints are here.

Once again I'm ever so thankful to get to take part in the annual Crazy 4 Cult art show at L.A.'s Gallery 1988: Melrose. It's my fourth year to participate, but it's the first time that I've deviated from my series of film family portraits to cover a new, equally gimmicky format—the black light poster (as seen above). It's a concept I've had in mind for a very long time and I figured Spinal Tap, the fictitious heavy metal act as well as the stars of one of my very favorite films, has long-deserved this treatment. (This isn't the first time they've inspired my work.)

The image you saw earlier shows it under normal lighting, and this...

... is the way it looks under a black light (which is included with the piece).

In an effort to make it seem even more authentic, and to give it "that extra push over the cliff" I applied black flocking (fuzzy stuff) to some areas...

The show will be on display at the Gallery 1988: Melrose from Friday, July 8th through July 30th.

Speaking of C4C (as I smugly call it) they just released a big, beautiful book filled with selections from the first four years of the show...

Whoops, mine keeps opening to this page for some reason...

The book is available on Amazon and all over the place.

THE HUMAN GIANTS

2011-01-02T22:34:00.000-06:00

(click to make them more gianter)

Just wanted to present the latest in my series of colored pencil family portraits. This is my humble tribute to Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel, and Aziz Ansari of Human Giant. For anyone unfamiliar, Human Giant was a hilarious comedy sketch show that aired on MTV for two seasons back in good old 2007 and '08 when the world was a simpler place. Once they got a taste of the trio, the entertainment industry seemed eager to pluck them from their home on MTV and put them all over screens both big and small.

This is my contribution to Is This Thing On, an art show at LA's Gallery 1988 that's dedicated to funny people awareness. The opening reception is Friday, January 7th, and I will be there to soak up the hilarity.

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION

2011-01-02T22:00:00.005-06:00

It brought be great joy to see Nick Martinolich's perfect reaction as he receives a print of my McFlys family portrait for Christmas. I've never even considered the possibility of such a great response. I'll certainly keep it in mind the next time I'm toiling over another one of these wacky portraits.

It reminds me of a quote I recently read by the legendary street artist Banksy...
"I’ve learnt from experience that a painting isn’t finished when you put down your brush – that’s when it starts."

IN NEED OF NOVELTIES

2010-12-16T01:21:00.014-06:00

UPDATE: This post was made in regards to my book Mail-Order Mysteries. The book is finished but I'd still love to know if you dig up any of these items. Email me at kirkd (at) centurytel.net

My unending fascination with stuff that was sold in old comic book ads has lead me into yet another project based on the topic. I'll be able to go into more detail later but right now there are a handful of mail order novelties that would be nice to include, but I can't seem to track them down. I can offer a gift (and credit) to any fun spotters who can provide high res photos of, or point me to, or lend me any of the following items....

UPDATE: How to Draw Monsters, Pocket Gym, and the original Bag Full O' Laughs have been found! Alas there's more on my wish list...

Frontier Cabin- This "playhouse" is a plastic tablecloth that's big enough to cover a card table. I've heard from folks who had it but nobody kept it. (Which is no surprise.)

Grow 7 Monsters- These are little cardboard things that grow "hair" when you water them. Please tell me you have a box of them in your warehouse.

Like the Johnson Smith horror record this one is a 7-inch that plays at 33rpm. I don't know who the hypnotist is (though it's possibly Melvin Powers) or if it had cover art.

Electrostatic Generator- This silly thing was offered for decades and yet I can't even find a single photo of it online. Did they all break? Do they go by another name? Is this a government cover up?

Motorized Submarine- I've found about a half dozen motorized submarines that look extremely close to this (though many are 12 inches) but I can't locate one that matches this illustration exactly. It was sold in the late 70s, early 80s.

Height Increase Pads- There's a vast supply of shoe lifts old and new, but I'd love to find some from this place, The Liftee Company (Though Liftee may just be the name of the distributor.) These seem like a tough find.

Missile Firing Tank- This is in the same vein as the Polaris Sub and the Jet Rocket which is to say it's a lot of cardboard. Never seen the real thing.

This is not to be confused with the more common Haunted House Mystery Bank that features a little plastic ghost in the doorway. This one is nearly identical except that it has a hand that grabs your money.

I've got the bat but I'd love to assemble the "Horror Outfit" which consists of...
-Flying Creepie [sic] Monster with popping eyes
-Wierd [sic] Skeleton Head
-Dangling Black Widow Spider
-Shrunken Head (I have this)
-Surprise Slimy Creature
Did you ever order one of these? Do you remember what these looked like? I've got lots of goodies that would fit those descriptions, but I want the exact ones that came with the bat.

This is a poster that I can't find.

There are plenty of modern smoke bombs out there but I'd love to find a vintage package of these in particular, though I have no clue what they look like.

Certainly you have this very pair of Weighted Wristlets laying around that I could photograph.

These are monster balloons that I doubt I'll ever find. As I understand it the lower one came with a crude device that makes sound when you run your finger across it, almost like the grooves of a record.

If you have any leads for me on any of these please leave a comment or email me at kirkd at centurytel.net Like I said, if it works out that I use an image of your item (or find one based on your lead) then I'll give you full credit and reward you less-than-handsomely, with a product inspired by this theme (and I would be extremely thankful.)

You can also contact me if you have access to anything similar, or just tell me if there are any old mail order novelties that you were particularly fond of or curious about.

None of these are essential to the project, but I just thought I'd ask. In the future I'll serve up a more satisfying post in which I'll share some of the stuff that I actually have tracked down.

THE HUXTABLES- IMPROVED

2010-12-06T02:40:00.002-06:00

Here's a recent addition to my ongoing series of would-be family portraits done in colored pencil. (Click on it to see a larger version.) This one is a welcome deviation from the rest given that it could be considered a work of fan fiction. The concept was birthed in the mind of comedian/actor/writer Nick Kroll who commissioned the piece. The family newcomer is a childhood version of comedian/writer John Mulaney. Breaking the rules of my own concept felt odd at first, but now I adore it for that very reason. Why did Nick request John in there? I don't suppose that's any of our business, now is it?

WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION (2010 EDITION) PART 2

2010-11-02T03:50:00.001-05:00

Continued from Part I

RAPID CITY, SOUTH DAKOTA (CONTINUED)

The next morning we healed our broken expectations with another surprisingly free attraction in Rapid City– Dinosaur Park!

I think a good road trip can be measured in fake dinosaurs. If you haven't been counting, this was our fifth encounter with prehistoric sculptures. The park offers a wonderful 360 degree view of the city. You can see about five of those degrees in the photo above.

Someone left a water bottle on the podium between these two. I started to move it for the photo and caught myself– it's like they're fighting over bottled water—hilarity! Except that you can't really see the bottled water.

I said before that I like my roadside attractions unchanged, well I found this old slide from the '60s (at this great site) and the only differences are taller trees and a paved street. All five creatures are still present and bearing original colors. No need for time travel this time.

Knowing that I would be sleeping on the ground for the next three nights, I wasn't eager to leave our refuge at the Foothills Inn. They have a modern sign but thankfully they've left the older, cooler version standing (seen above). They're either thoughtful preservationists or extremely lazy. The hotel had clean rooms, a pool, cable TV, air conditioning, and affordable rates. And I'm not just saying that because the South Dakota Office of Tourism commented on part 1 of this post.

Before we left town I snapped what turned out to be my favorite photo of the trip (Oh, um, I mean aside from the ones of my family). The Stardust Motel sign perfectly embodies 1980s, post-Star Wars sci-fi graphics, and I love how the color of the car compliments it. Unfortunately, this complex has become make-shift housing and the scenes on the porches are far from futuristic, unless we're talking dystopian.

STURGIS, SOUTH DAKOTA

You've seen this street plenty of times except that it's usually pictured with thousands of motorcycles crammed everywhere. The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally concluded mere days before we comfortably drove through town. I was frustrated by the timing because this year Pee-Wee Herman, one of my cultural heroes, attended the event where he performed the world's largest Tequila dance. The place is pretty wimpy looking without all those hogs huh, I was the toughest looking guy around and I was driving a minivan.

We crossed into Wyoming and the sky was what I call "vintage postcard blue."

Before long our next directive was in sight— Devils Tower National Monument! Like most folks my age, my first lesson on the Devils Tower was taught by Mr. Steven Spielberg. When we first witnessed the amazing formation in the distance, all the creepiness of Close Encounters came flooding back. Throughout our visit I felt a wonderful surge of mystique every time I laid eyes on it.

Road signs instructed us to tune into some AM station for more information and I'm so glad that I did. A faint, static-ridden message that could have been recorded decades ago filled our car. The disembodied voices of park rangers repeatedly gave me chills.

The mood switched from Sci-fi to Nature Film when we discovered that the surrounding fields are home to literally thousands of prairie dogs...

We arrived at the visitors center to find a group of excited onlookers pointing out several climbers scaling the sides of the monolith. Turns out anyone can do this if they have the wherewithal and register ahead of time. You probably can't see the two dark specs on the lower left side of this photo, but those are people.

We walked the entire diameter of the landmark. It took a very long time, though that could be due to the four-year-old clinging to my neck in a half nelson hold.

I heard a snippet of a talk being given by a park ranger who seemed to take his job very seriously. It went something like this...

"What does Devils Tower mean to you?
Is it just something you saw in a UFO movie?
Or is it just another pit stop on your family vacation?
Well I'll tell you what it means to ME..."

Well, truth is.. YES, to me it's exactly both of those things, but his tone suggested that I should somehow feel guilty for this. How dare my interest derive from a classic film I saw when I was four. Yeah, in fact, I only care about the White House because I saw it get blown up in a Will Smith movie. And what, should I have made this our destination—maybe spent a couple weeks encircling it? Take it easy pal, and let me enjoy this freaky piece of Earth for however long and for whatever reason I choose!

Ahem. Speaking of which I was sorely disappointed with the lack of alien references in the nearby gift shops. I can understand the park downplaying it but it's hard to believe the association with Close Encounters has dried up. The only evidence I saw was a generic alien coloring book and a billboard miles down the road that invited us to have our own "close encounter" with the monument.

I came away with a cool postcard of an old travel poster as well as a cheesy hat pin and a postcard book, both of which may date back to the 1980s. Since our pit stop was over we moved on to...

CODY, WYOMING

I really enjoyed this place. It's the rodeo capital of the world so they have a rodeo every single night throughout the summer.

We set up camp in Bighorn National Forest. The scenery around there surpassed anything I had yet to see. But my photos were such letdowns that I can't bear to post them here.

Speaking of bears, here's a sign near our campsite that kept my wife awake for most of the night...

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, WYOMING

As a rule, whenever people start talking about Yellowstone I tune them out. It's because they always say the same thing— how beautiful everything is. It gets old quick, and the conversation hits a dead end.

Well, everything in Yellowstone is BEAUTIFUL! My eyes simply weren't prepared. To me it was the most gorgeous I've ever seen nature. People like to say that photos don't do it justice (and then they proceed to show your their photos.) Well, photos don't do it justice...

I learned that old looking signage looks even better against phenomenal backdrops.

Yes, it's beautiful, but as long as I'm unpacking my adjectives, the two runners up are "stinky" and "dangerous." For example, I could only be near the sulfuric stench of the mud volcano for a short time, which isn't a bad thing because it could scald me to death or poison me.

Here's the malodorous Dragon's Mouth. It's so hot that boiling waves are constantly blasting from the opening and the noises it produces are certainly demonic...

They said that new killer sinkholes pop up daily and there's no way to predict where. While you're trying to avoid those, and getting lost, and the bear attacks, you also need to beware the Bison...

I photographed this guy from my car, but there were plenty of folks treating the place like a petting zoo just begging for a goring. I guess it did make things more interesting, like watching auto racing and secretly hoping for a wreck.

And you just have to hope you haven't planned your vacation when the supervolcano you're sleeping on inevitably erupts. (Although, it may get us no matter where we are.) The Haunted Mansion has nothing on this place.

I enjoyed the alien-looking landscapes created by the boiling water...

Those were all part of the Mammoth Hot Springs.

Of course we had to check out Old Faithful...

I'm sure I would have forgotten the entire experience by now, were I not reminded daily by my souvenir coin and stretched penny.

Having survived three days it was time to head homeward. I made sure to take a different route to get a fresh set of scenery. Wyoming was crazy-gorgeous and it felt like driving through a Western. In this pic a river, a road and a train track all follow the same path...

What are the odds of a river forming right between a highway and a railroad? [cue rimshot]

On the last night we traded our tent for an Embassy Suite in Denver. Our lack of a real map caused one final vacation mishap when our printed directions to the hotel led us to a maximum security prison; apparently they have similar addresses.

With one last day of driving ahead I had to make a decision— do I travel the fastest route or go hours out of the way to see Dodge City, Kansas for the first time? I've wanted to visit ever since I first saw National Lampoon's Vacation, but I've never traveled anywhere near the place. I tapped into my inner Griswold and decided to go for it.

In the film, Dodge City looks like a county fair on the set of a Wild West flick...

I was hoping to relive the scene in the saloon where Clark says "Hey, Underpants!" to the bartender who responds with a dummy shotgun blast. Billboards for the Boot Hill museum made me wonder if that's where it happened.

DODGE CITY, KANSAS

Let me just save everyone some trouble here. Upon listening to the DVD commentary (after my return) I discovered the Dodge City in Vacation is a back lot at Warner Brothers Studios and the interior is the Strater Hotel of Durango Colorado. It's one of the few times that they didn't shoot at the authentic location. (Cousin Eddie's house isn't really in Coolidge, Kansas either)

Rewind to a time prior to this discovery, I'm standing at the desk of the Boot Hill museum confusing two sixteen-year-old cashiers, one of which thinks she may have heard of a movie called Vacation, but isn't positive. Despite my misunderstanding I took heart in the fact that the experience captured the very spirit of the film. Thank goodness they had a penny squishing machine and cheap tin badges or I might have grown irate and threatened them with a BB gun.

For the record they do have a fake Western town (albeit far less festive looking), however you have to pay ten bucks to see it. Or just stick your camera through a hole in the surrounding fence...

After a brief stop in Greesburg Kansas (which is notable for being mostly demolished by a tornado) we saw our last bit of roadside art...

And suddenly the trip was but a memory, carefully preserved with brain matter, photos, and most importantly, a shelf-full of dazzling clutter.

THE JOHNSON SMITH HORROR RECORD COMES TO LIFE!

2010-10-25T22:32:00.007-05:00

For years Jason Willis freed vintage Halloween records from their rare vinyl cages and unleashed them into the digital realm (via his Scar Stuff blog) where they have spread like a zombie virus. Amid all the sharing Jason was able to reclaim and make available a recording that held tremendous sentimental value to him (and many others), the 1973 Johnson Smith Horror Record.

It was coveted regularly because it appeared as a perennial listing in Johnson Smith's ubiquitous comic book ads. However, only the really lucky kids got it because unlike most of the products sold by the company, this item was exclusively available through them.

(MP3s of the entire record are available here.)

The second side of the brief record features a "semi-cohesive story line," the details of which could only be deciphered by the minds of young listeners—until now. For Jason's first-ever animated project he chose to illustrate the crude story with gruesome graphics from old magazines produced by Eerie Publications. The marriage of the audio and visuals is spot on. These elements are born of the same era and they share the same over-the-top, b-grade vernacular.

So unless ye be squeamish, I invite you to click on over and experience this brutal scarefest in all its bloody glory. Note that it's certainly not for the kiddies, and your boss may not appreciate it either.

You can read more about the technical specifics at Jason's blog

INSTANT VENTRILOQUISM- NOW WITH SCRIPT

2010-10-24T18:24:00.000-05:00

There's an old post of mine that's maintained a steady trickle of traffic since I wrote it back in July of 2006. It's the one where I shared Jimmy Nelson's Instant Ventriloquism, a mail order record from 1964.

My original upload lacked the script that came with the record. The missing document covered a conversation between you, the aspiring ventriloquist, and Farfel the dog. Thanks to the generosity of Dan Rodden this exchange is no longer a mystery. Additionally, he passed along some tracks with improved audio quality.

So you can visit the updated post or
download the album with the script here or
get the script by itself here

and you'll be on your way to a satisfying dialog with a prerecorded dog puppet!

ROADSIDE ARCHITECTURE AND MID-CENTURY DESIGN IN GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS

2010-10-23T22:18:00.000-05:00

Some very ugly stuff goes down in the Grand Theft Auto series of video games. That's why I was surprised to find so much of my favorite kind of beauty scattered throughout this land of chaos. The virtual landscape is peppered with odd tourist attractions and vintage Americana, most of which was carefully modeled after the real world.

I was inspired to capture this phenomenon in a photo essay wherein every picture was actually taken by my in-game character. Visit my article on Monkey Goggles to take a guided road trip through San Andreas where there's lots more to do than just steal cars.

WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION (2010 EDITION) PART I

2010-10-22T01:38:00.005-05:00

In the summer of the year two thousand and ten (A.D.) my family and I set out to explore some of our few remaining unvisited states. Yellowstone National Park was the destination, but only after we'd seen the living heck out of South Dakota and Wyoming.

As if a three thousand mile camping trip with a preschooler wasn't challenging enough, a few additional obstacles presented themselves early in the journey...

1. I remembered that our atlas was still in the garage, carefully laid among a selection of supplies including jumper cables, first aid kit, and auto fluids.

2. Our phone stopped working.

3. We discovered that our van needed four new tires which cost us a three hour wait and roughly half of our vacation budget.

On the first day I took one photograph. It was of my wife tying my son's shoe near a dumpster behind a Wendy's. This occurred as we walked to lunch through the August Sun while our van was being serviced. I deleted that photo. Thankfully that was the extent of our misadventures, and throughout the following week I took over a hundred new pictures, happy ones, some of which I would like to show you now.

MITCHELL, SOUTH DAKOTA

The Corn Palace has been on my list of must-see tourist traps for many years. It was day two and we'd already traveled nearly eight hundred miles without a single frivolous stop. I was in dire need of a hefty dose of "offbeat." The sight of this sign for the Corn Palace Motel was soothing to my eyes, and the giant steer was just frosting...

It seems that this business has no affiliation with the actual Corn Palace. Ah, the blatant cash-in— a vital part of the tourism food chain.

At long last my eyes met the building made entirely of corn. Well, that's how I understood it before my visit. It's really a brick structure covered in a layer of corn. The walls boast huge corn murals, both inside and out. I was impressed to learn that new corn is reapplied annually, and the design follows a new theme each year. I was surprised to learn that the attraction does not endure daily bird attacks.

While I've seen numerous photos of the Corn Palace's exterior I had no idea what was inside. I was looking forward to uncovering this mystery first hand. Spoiler Alert: I'm going to show you what's inside. It is.... IT IS...

...a basketball court. To be exact: a gift shop on a basketball court. But when it gets too cold for tourists the locals play ball and there's even a stage for performing arts. Sheesh, why haven't I been jazzing up these captions with corn-related puns? Well it's too late now.

After investing in a squished penny and a commemorative spoon we headed across the street to find more gift shops and a fiberglass corncob with a face. Music played from speakers on the roof and I got especially excited when "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers came on. It just seemed like the most perfect song in the world to listen to while taking pictures of millions of corn kernels.

Nearby are the ruins of the Enchanted World doll museum. Please, let's not dwell on it.

Everyone knows you can measure the worth of a community by the number of giant animal statues they have, and Mitchell has many...

The Thunderbird Lodge offers a well-kept saddled jackrabbit.

It's always nice to find a Sinclair station with enough class to display a statue of their cool mascot. Makes the Shell station across the way seem about as appealing as a funeral home.

Downtown Mitchell seems to be thriving and they have some great looking old store fronts...

But admittedly, the entire time I was there I was a bit antsy to get to our next stop...

WALL, SOUTH DAKOTA

I've seen "Where The Heck Is Wall Drug?" bumper stickers decorating RVs since I was a kid, but I had to wait until the late '90s to learn exactly what the heck it is. My copy of The New Roadside America by Doug Kirby explained that it's "a sprawling tourist mall that employs a third of the town's population." and he deemed it one of the "Seven Wonders of Roadside America." A decade after reading that, I finally made it.

This 80 foot dinosaur is the final effort to lure travelers off the interstate. His job is easy because by this point drivers have been primed for a visit by literally hundreds of signs spanning a cluster of states.

The dinosaur was built by Emmet Sullivan, who was also behind the Christ of the Ozarks in Eureka Springs, AR, Dinosaur Park of Rapid City, SD and the abandoned Dinosaur World that I'm so fond of. Thanks to this trip I've seen Emmet's entire body of work within the past year.

Practically the entire town of Wall exists to cater to visitors; there are dozens of gas stations, gift shops, and cool motels like this one...

Downtown Wall is reminiscent of many small American towns except that every storefront on one side of the street has morphed into a single complex and often 20,000 people shop there in a day.

Inside is a collision of all the modern facets of the tourism industry: restaurants, ice cream parlors, animatronic displays, coin-ops, photo ops, and specialty shops.

Fake city streets—check

Western-themed dining halls with nicely dated decor—check

Over-sized coin-operated barroom piano gorilla—of course

Rideable Jackalope—got one

Robotic singing cowboys—yes

One of these— check

T-Rex that comes to life every 12 minutes to terrify your son—and check

As legend has it, their entire empire is the product of a single draw— free ice water. It's still free and the "well" is on display...

Wall Drug is sort of like a mom and pop mall. My one complaint is that it's such a well-functioning operation; everything is up-to-date and closely managed. It's the reason they've flourished for so long. But my ideal tourist meccas are stuck in the past and virtually unchanging. Wall Drug certainly has its layers of history, but there's little chance of finding a box of back scratchers that were kicked under a shelf thirty years ago.

This was going through my mind right before our departure. But then I made a discovery in an out-of-the-way window that just about wiped away those thoughts...

This menagerie of deteriorating stuffed animals with bodies of children wearing vintage clothing is everything a vacationer like me hopes for.

You may bask in my haul of surprisingly affordable Wall Drug souvenirs. (Every family gets one free bumper sticker, additional stickers were ten cents apiece.) And I can't think of a better place in the world to buy a flocked Jackalope.

Speaking of buying stuff, one of the mysteries of the trip was this...

Why is the Plus cheaper than Regular? This was the case with numerous stations throughout the region. Is it some trick where people choose Regular out of habit and pay too much? (If so I fell for it at least once.) Is it something to do with ethanol? Why was it limited to the tourist areas?
Speaking of which, our next stop was...

RAPID CITY, SOUTH DAKOTA

I was pretty impressed with this place. The downtown was very much alive and had some really great visuals...

The street corners feature a collection of life-size metal Presidents of the United States. I'm not sure why I didn't get a shot of those, but one thing I couldn't stop photographing was the most amazing storybook land that I've ever been to. It's called Storybook Island and it has more displays and playground equipment jammed into one park than I ever thought possible.

I've been to storybook attractions with shameful admission prices that contain a fraction of the stuff this one has. Admission to Storybook Island?... Free! There is a donation kiosk, but the park is run by volunteers and the Rapid City Rotary Club.

I recognized some of the amazing old playground equipment from here. (I've always known I'd eventually discover real-world applications for studying vintage catalogs.)

I recognized several fixtures from a trip I took ten years ago to Sparta, Wisconsin's FAST Corporation where the masters of fiberglass improve our world with giant animals, pirates and monsters.

All manner of licensed properties rub elbows here, from Hanna Barbera to Disney to Dr. Seuss. It's all accompanied by a soundtrack of Pixar and Dreamworks films.

There's a children's theater that's sponsored by McDonalds, thus it is adorned with three dimensional renderings of obsolete McDonaldland characters! (I recently expressed my fondness for them in this post.)

I was nuts about places like this before I was a parent, but the experience reached a new level of bliss as I watched my four-year-old frolicking in a froth of fun and childhood wonderment.

Topping a romp like this one seemed impossible, the only thing that might come close would be a gravitational anomaly where logic takes a holiday and all laws of nature are meaningless. The Cosmos Mystery Spot is just that, and the otherworldly phenomenon happens to be conveniently located on the drive to Mount Rushmore.

For some reason all mystery spot demonstrations culminate in wooden shacks (seen above) where chairs balance on two legs and water runs uphill. Note that it is surrounded by mysteriously bent trees which prove the spot's authenticity to even the hardest skeptic. Cosmos boasts an impressive double-shack configuration since there's too much mystery to be contained by just one.

The twenty-minute tour was nearly identical to the one I took years ago at the now-defunct Wonder Spot of the Wisconsin Dells. Multiple tours ran simultaneously which enabled me to preview our tour guide's canned jokes minutes before he told them. The Mystery Spot does not obey gravity and neither does my souvenir shot glass! (seen above) Oh, and my smooshed penny defies the laws of physics.

Having been informed by my son that "That was not fun like you said." we decided to up the ante– with some giant, stone presidential faces.

MOUNT RUSHMORE

There it is, my first ever view of George, Tom, Ted and Abe. I can finally verify that it is not a hoax perpetuated by movies (...or is it?). We proved ourselves better than the other filthy tourists by avoiding the urge to photograph the column engraved with the name of our state.

And don't you hate it when this happens– you try to take a photo in one of our national parks only to have it obscured by a famous actress and musician...
That's Drea de Matteo (best known for her work on The Sopranos and Desperate Housewives) with her fiance Shooter Jennnings (singer/songwriter and son of Waylon) and their daughter Alabama Gypsy Rose.

No one else seemed to recognize them, possibly because they blended in among the many biker couples still lingering after the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally which had just ended that weekend. It was remarkably easy for me to take this shot undetected, as I was one of hundreds of folks pointing cameras in their direction; a paparazzi's dream.

Anyway, I know you've seen this thing before, but this is exactly the way it looked on August 15th, 2010.

Much rarer are photos of the amphitheater at the foot of the mountain, so here's a special glimpse of that for you...

We heard murmurs of some light show that would take place after dark, and the parking attendant confirmed this. We were surprised to hear about such a thing but curious enough to decide to return. So with a few hours to kill we explored the nearby towns. It seemed like a perfect time to find the Flintstones Bedrock City of Custer, SD which I'd just learned about thanks to a tip from Todd Franklin, the mayor of Neatocoolville.

Tripadvisor reviews portray the place as an outdated disappointment run by unhappy senior citizens. This only fueled my desire to visit. However, it did not disappoint on it's promise to disappoint– it was closed. I ventured as far onto the property as possible and took a handful of lackluster pics...

What self-proclaimed "theme park" closes at 5 p.m. on a weekend during tourist season? A disappointing one.

We'd heard that the Needles Highway was not to be missed so we drove it back to Rushmore. It really was incredible. The narrow road was often the only man-made thing that was visible. We flipped out when we found Bison blocking the road. Little did we know they would soon become a common annoyance after a couple days in Yellowstone.

If I knew how to use my camera you'd see a perfect view of Mount Rushmore on the horizon. It really helps you imagine what it would be like if the world were attacked by giants.

We had a hard time coming to grips with the notion of a Rushmore light show. I wondered just how low they would stoop. Would there be lasers and a contemporary soundtrack? What if they used laser technology to animate the faces!? What about fake smoke? What if they start to rap?! "My name's G-Wash and I'm here to say..." (FYI, every horrible faux-rap includes the line "my name's... and I'm here to say) What country-demeaning horrors awaited?

My son was growing restless and I actually found myself talking up this unseen spectacle. "There will be loud music and crazy lights!" My own snobbery was melted away by my hope to please my kid. But only those patient enough to sit through a lecture from a park ranger, an educational film, and a salute to our veterans would be rewarded with the show. We watched these patiently as I whispered "it's almost time." in regular intervals.

And finally, they turned on the juice!...

It started as a faint glow. Gradually the illumination intensified until... until.... the night lights were on. Yes, the "light show" could also be called "turning on the lights." I guess all that other stuff was the show.

Continued in Part 2

TOYLAND: A DOCUMENTARY

2010-10-03T00:45:00.004-05:00

When I want to know something about classic playthings I consult my copy of Timeless Toys by Tim Walsh. Then I might have a look online for additional scraps of information. Tim's tome is that comprehensive. His follow-up was the definitive look at the Wham-O toy company in which he assembled an impossible amassment of photos and history.

For his most recent endeavor, a film called Toyland, Mr. Walsh teamed up with documentarian Ken Sons to capture a collection of classic toy stories, and offer a look into the modern toy industry.

Toyland offers a series of exclusive interviews with toy experts and the inventors of some of America's most legendary playthings including Play-Doh, Slinky, Nerf and the game of Operation. Seeing these faces for the first time was a strange experience. These people have impacted our culture far beyond most any modern celebrity and yet they've remained unknown for decades. Sounds like a pretty sweet setup, actually.

Witnessing the personalities and hearing the anecdotes behind the plastic was a joy for me. I finally got to put a face on Uncle Milton, inventor of the Ant Farm and a slew of other mail order trinkets that I so cherish. And I was delighted that they included a segment dedicated to toy legend Marvin Glass. (I've since suggested to Mr. Walsh that Mr. Glass is ripe for his own documentary.)

Walsh also happens to be a successful fun-maker in his own right. He invented the game Blurt! and co-created Tribond. Toyland devotes roughly half of its run time to Walsh's recent quest to usher his latest toy concept onto store shelves. Following Walsh's mission to bring his dream to life is engaging in its own way. Whether or not you believe in his idea, his devotion is inspiring and the backstage glimpse into the toy world is fascinating. I felt genuinely nervous as he walked into pitch meetings, and I was reminded that sometimes the toughest part of the creative process is getting others to share your vision.

While the production value is not slick, Toyland delivers the goods, and I kept being thankful that the filmmakers put forth so much effort to immortalize this rarely seen facet of American history. (And there's vintage toy commercials and factory footage of toys and games on the assembly line!) If you're on this site you're probably into this stuff. If you're into this stuff then I'll bet my vintage Ant Farm that you'll like it.

Toyland is available on DVD or on Video on Demand.

Oh, and here's the trailer...

IN PRAISE OF LONG JOHN SILVER'S KRUMS- ON MONKEY GOGGLES

2010-09-07T15:34:00.004-05:00

The crunchy pieces of batter at Long John Silvers are my favorite food byproduct. Officially known as "krums," they are a topic that the internet has been too afraid to discuss—until now. Visit Monkey Goggles to read about my lifelong love affair with these guilty little pleasures.

PRIVATE INVESTIGATION ART SHOW

2010-09-04T16:18:00.004-05:00

(click to enlarge)

I just tricked you into looking at my latest colored pencil creation. It's for an art show called Private Investigation which starts on September 15th at the Mastodon Mesa gallery in Los Angeles. The concept required artists to "choose a found photograph of unknown provenance, and use it as a jumping off point to make a piece of art."

Here it is hanging in the gallery

My submission (called Soft Focus Phantom in Pigtails) is based on a mysterious snapshot from the 1970s. I picked it because it initially grabbed my attention with the costume, but when I noticed that the ferocious subject is a little girl it became even more appealing. Also, I tend to have Halloween on the brain this time of year and I happen to own a mask similar to the one in the photo (though the blur and the glare from the flash distort it nicely in the found snapshot.)

Including the original photo alongside the art was optional. I wrestled with the decision until I concluded that my take on it just can't measure up to awesomeness of the authentic article.

At first I had grand plans to do a more creative interpretation of the image, but I quickly fell in love with it and couldn't bring myself to deviate too much. Though somehow I subconsciously became a human PhotoShop, deepening the colors and trying to sharpen the focus some.

The project was especially enticing because it's a step away from my film family portraits, and it's my foray outside the walls of the beloved Gallery 1988. For this I can thank curator Graham Kolbeins, who also wrote a nice write-up on my portraits on the official site for Spike Jonze's Where the Wild Things Are movie.

For more info on the show and the other artists check out Mastodon Mesa's site.

EVERY POSTCARD FROM THE OPENING TITLES OF NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION

2010-08-23T19:20:00.002-05:00

I just got back from my summer vacation and I have sooo much to do. (Blogging about the trip is certainly on the list.) Regardless of this, I couldn't resist the urge to watch National Lampoon's Vacation within hours of my return. My geekiness prompted me to turn on the director's commentary, and that's how I learned that the vintage postcards in the wonderful title sequence were contributed by John Margolies, a name that shows up on a half dozen books on my bookshelf. He's spent decades documenting roadside America in books such as Roadside America.

Roadside America by John Margolies

Signs of Our Time by John Margolies

In fact, many of the images used in the film appear within his bibliography. Vacation director Harold Ramis explains that a number of the postcards were actually "invented" by taking John's photographs and fashioning them into postcard format.

This new-found connection between one of my favorite movies and one of my favorite authors got me so excited that I threw my schedule to the wind and took screenshots of every postcard. They appear onscreen in frustratingly short intervals but now you can take a leisurely look at this magnificent collection. (Click any to enlarge)...

As you may recall, this last card featuring the Chicago skyline seamlessly transitions into the first shot of the film. I can't imagine a more appropriate or effective introduction to the quintessential vacation movie.

KING KONG OVER BRANSON

2010-08-09T23:25:00.000-05:00

As if you needed another reason to visit Branson, Missouri, this season marks the debut of a giant King Kong appearing atop the Hollywood Wax Museum. I, for one, welcome our new primate overlord. Thanks to the traffic-choked highway 76 passerbys have the opportunity to study the sculpture from all angles for at least ten minutes at at time.

But if you long for a taste of "Silver Age" Branson (1995-2005) you can venture to the neighborhood directly behind the museum to find the back porch that houses the former "have your photo taken in King Kong's hand" prop. But don't despair, the Kong photo-op has been updated to appeal to today's more sophisticated novelty photo connoisseurs.

McMURAL

2010-08-08T21:15:00.003-05:00

The McDonald's of my childhood is nearly thirty years old and each time I return I'm glad to see that their custom wall mural is still intact, even though today it serves as a graveyard for bygone McDonaldland mascots. After intending to for years, I finally brought in my camera and captured it for the ages. Exactly one week after doing this I learned that a new location is on the horizon and this building is about to be demolished, or as the Hamburglar would say: ruble ruble. (Yes, I know he really says robble, but wasn't that a good one?)

I'm betting the mural will go down with the 1980s-style country crafts decor. So as long as Blogger, the internet, and civilization as we know it remains, the painting will be available right here...

(click to enlarge)

The artwork is probably twenty feet long and was commissioned when the restaurant was built. The artist, Cecil Savage, was widely considered "the" town artist. He taught many of my little friends the proper way to paint trees and how to make flying birds out of letter M's. What makes the piece unique is that the cast of characters are frolicking in a local park.

I like that modern children are left to ponder why a man of science is pointing to a pirate standing in a fountain, seemingly directing attention away from the crime taking place in the background. Meanwhile all the government employees have hamburgers for heads.

I've never understood the high turnover rate among McDonaldland residents until I read the Wikipedia page. I knew they were heavily "inspired" by H.R. Pufnstuf but I didn't know McDonald's was successfully sued for ripping off Sid and Marty Krofft.

Stolen or not, this senseless cast of characters was certainly enough to captivate me as a kid. I was thrilled to find their likenesses on an eraser or a McWrist wallet. Remember McWrist wallets?

Yeah, I thought so.

HOW TO LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOUR KID

2010-07-27T19:10:00.000-05:00

Step 1: Purchase playset you wanted as a kid, but never got. (left)
Step 2: Purchase playset you had as a kid, but somehow lost. (right)

Next time we will discuss proper Star Wars indoctrination.

CUSTOM PEE-WEE FIGURES

2010-07-20T16:39:00.000-05:00

I just happened across these and I'm surprised that I haven't seen them all over the web. Detroit based artist Ben Zurawski has taken it upon himself to expand the 1988 line of Pee-Wee's Playhouse figures by Matchbox toys. To quote Ben "Each are handmade with polymer clay, wood, fabric, plenty of paint, glue, and a whole lot of love." His expansion pack includes Dog Chair, Picture Phone, Foil Ball, The Dinosaur Family, Mr.Kite, Magic Glasses, Giant Underpants, Roger the monster, Christmas Fruitcake and my personal favorite, Door to Door Salesman...

What more could you ask for? Well, Floory for starters, but that's just me.

Ben's fandom doesn't stop there; he makes life-size replica Clockys oh, and he proposed to his girlfriend on the stage of Pee Wee's live show. Well done Mr. Zurawski! I love them and I might just marry them. I'd try to make some of my own except that I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em.

HOW I BECAME A "PROFESSIONAL ARTIST"

2010-07-15T04:12:00.013-05:00

(prints are available here, or write gallery1988@aol.com or call 323-937-7088.
They're $65 11X14, signed edition of 100)

The McFlys (seen above) is my contribution to the fourth Crazy 4 Cult art show which is currently on display at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles. (You can see all of my film family portraits here.)

This is the third year I've had the honor of participating, and I think it's a good time to share the complete story that explains how a guy living in Nowheresville with limited experience wound up in a notable west coast show selling art to real live Hollywood filmmakers. While I'm not proud of all my work, I'm proud of how it happened. Believe me, nobody called me up and asked. It was more complicated than that...

From childhood to manhood I drew non-stop. Then I stopped. It happened when I got a laptop, I suddenly turned all designer-ish. I designed a web site, self-assigned learning exercises, and a portfolio full of fake greeting cards (which eventually got me a job designing real ones.) After nearly a decade of letting my drawing hand atrophy, I started getting pangs of sorrow each time I came across great illustration online. I came to realize that I was officially a "frustrated illustrator."

In 2005 while I was amidst my biggest design project yet, I saw a link to an art show called I Am 8-Bit. This was a group exhibition dedicated entirely to classic video games.

Pop culture themed art shows crop up everywhere these days, but this was probably the one that started the whole trend. I'd never seen artists come together to pay tribute to something that was dear to me. I'd been reinterpreting video games when I was nine years old, so the notion of doing this as an adult was ridiculously appealing. I longed to be a part of it, but I was well aware that there weren't many full time e-card designers among the participating artists.

Two years later I saw this...

There was something else that fueled my pencil as a young artist: movies. A quick look into my archives yielded this handful of examples; from a drawing of the Black Hole's Maximilian that I did when I was seven, to a freshman year rendering of Citizen Kane...

Seeing that first Crazy 4 Cult exhibit was harsh. The art was soooo good but it served as another painful reminder that I wasn't scratching that itch.

The following year I learned that the show was happening a second time. The moment I discovered this I vowed to submit something for consideration for the third installment. I lay awake brainstorming for hours, but awoke with only a couple weak ideas and a pounding headache. As I got ready for work I explained my challenge to my wife and she mentioned how much she liked an intriguing vintage portrait we had just seen. That triggered a vision of The Shining's Torrance family in a Sears studio photograph which caused me to laugh and bound around the house. I had a concept! But could I bring it to life?

I invested numerous hours scouring my Shining DVD for visual reference and piecing together a digital composite of the would-be portrait. My first instinct was to paint the family (since the consensus seems to be that painted art is the most legitimate art), but eventually I remembered a colored pencil drawing of Disney's former CEO, Jeffery Katzenberg, that I did in college...

I knew the medium would give me a lot more control over the details and I could work smaller. So I dug through the garage until I found the same baggie of pencils I had purchased for class more than a decade prior, and I bought a four pack of 11 x 14 posterboard at Walmart. After a couple misfires, an acceptable image started to take shape.

The learning curve was in full effect and I reworked some parts so many times that I was in danger of eating through the card stock. A week of nearly-sleepless nights and aching fingers went by and the more work I did, the more foolish I felt. I knew I was pouring days of my real life into a far fetched fantasy. I jumped into my impulse so quickly I hadn't even checked to see who curated the show...or if they were even having a third show...or what their selection process entailed...or if they even considered outside submissions! Yet there I was, an amateur by definition, two thousand miles from this gallery I had never set foot in, behaving like I had a chance.

Then I noticed an art contest on AintItCoolNews.com in which the winner got to participate in Crazy 4 Cult. Okay, maybe there was a sliver of a chance. I got excited by the prospect and finished the Torrances. Well, I knew it still needed work, but by then I had decided that the concept would be even stronger as a series, and I hoped that a bit more quantity would offset the lacking quality. So I started on the Lundegaard family from Fargo.

I'd been sacrificing every available hour for over three weeks when fatigue set in. Neither of the pieces was turning out as well as I imagined, so I decided to shelve the project, just for a while. After all, I had a whole year. And hey, if I just stopped nobody other than my very tolerant wife would ever have to know about my goofy plan. Besides, the San Diego Comic Con was fast approaching and I was planning to attend on behalf of another project.

Then it dawned on me— everyone seems to be at Comic Con, what about the guy who puts on Crazy 4 Cult? Turns out his name is Jensen Karp and he kept a blog. I scrolled down until I saw it—

"I'll actually be out in SD representing 1988 all week, but this time as an artist liaison for the Mattel company. ...[yada, yada]... at the Mattel Hot Wheels booth ...[yada, yada]...on Friday, the 25th, at 3 PM" [!!!]

Unbelievable! Not only was he going to be there, I knew exactly where and when! Forget the contest, I could just ask the guy in person. But how would I know how to spot him? A Flickr tag search served up Jensen's face to his newest stalker.

I returned to my work with new found motivation. I "finished" Fargo and attacked Jack Nicholson and crew with a new coat of polish. If I squinted I almost felt good about the Shining one, while Fargo deserved about a C-, but it was San Diego time so it would have to do.

On Friday the 25th, a bit before 3PM I was walking towards the Hot Wheels booth with a backpack containing color copies of my freaky little portraits. I felt my blood pushing through my neck. Almost immediately I saw Jensen handing out prints to a long line of Hot Wheels fans. He was busy; what a great excuse to not approach him yet. So I took a seat against a concrete wall where I could still see him.

He finished with the handouts and started chatting with his then-girlfriend. I didn't dare interrupt their special couple time so I stayed seated in my own sweat. I was terrified that they would notice that I'd been spying on them for a full half hour. When their conversation finally slowed, I stood up. Then a cluster of his friends swarmed and I sat back down. That group was replaced by another one, and another. Jensen knows a lot of people.

When my view of the curator was obscured I moved, and occasionally I circled the booth trying to shake some of my nervous energy. I checked the time; I'd been lurking over an hour. My stomach felt twisted and my mind was shot. When I wasn't scanning them like a sick robot I was cursing myself. My fantasy and reality finally had the unlikely chance to collide, and my weeks of investment were weighing on every moment. Fifteen minutes later I crumbled and walked away from the booth.

I think it was an experiment to see how it would feel. Relief washed over me and I started to think "By walking away now I'm saving myself from rejection. Nobody ever has to know what happened." By then I was convinced that there was no way it could end well. But then I started replaying everything that had happened, and I could almost see a red sign flashing in my head that said "POINT OF NO RETURN." Yup, that's where I was. So I turned around.

When Jensen came into view again there was nobody else with him. I had a straight shot! Suddenly, just like in the movies, a wall of people slid right between us. I started to wait, but my new sense of abandon possessed me and I simply interrupted their exchange. Things started off rough.

I'm going to use the word incomprehensible to describe my introduction and I use it in its truest sense. My body was in a state of panic and I had been sinking so far inward for the past hour that my brain seemed to lose its link to my tongue. My words were often out of order, and inaudible. Jensen played it totally cool.

My plan was to conjure a shred of credibility by giving him the film I worked on for FunKo (which was showing there that weekend) and my S.S. Adams book. So I, the mumbling stranger, told him I had gifts and started piling random stuff in his arms. "I made this." I eloquently stated as I handed him the book. When he mentioned that he liked Chris Ware (who wrote the foreword) I decided to inject some of my unique wit and I heard myself saying "He's my best friend." After a pause Jensen said "Oh, right on, man." to which I smoothly replied "That was my joke. That was just me joking. He's not really my best friend." Sorry if it's hard to read over the sound of me cringing!

Now that he was putty in my hand it was time for my big pitch. "I know that this is uncalled for, but I have some art..." I said as I rummaged through my backpack. Again he was totally cool. "Naw, man let's see what you've got." I handed him the paper without a word. He looked silently and without expression. Then he exploded "Aw man!!" and he burst into laughter and walked into the crowd to show it to some people. When he emerged he said, "You're in dude! You're in."

I literally jumped up and down like I was on The Price is Right. I tried to disguise the tears in my eyes. Then he asked "Do you have any more of these?" and I started flailing again.

Ten minutes later I was back in the oozing flow of Comic Con attendees, smooshed between three other t-shirts as sweaty as mine. But I felt like I was floating. My euphoria must have been obvious. "Hey man," said the guy to my left. "I don't know what the big secret is, but I wish you'd tell the rest of us."

TRIBUTE FAIL

2010-07-14T02:16:00.000-05:00

One of my ultimate goals has been to find something worthy of the Fail Blog and today I may have done it. (I just submitted it so we shall see if it ever meets their lofty standards for failure.) This is a new feature at the Tinanic Museum of Branson Missouri. Yes it's real. I'm amazed that anything can be so equally hilarious and depressing.

I've had a lot of fun speculating about exactly what it is: animatronics? a drama? a water stunt show? But after a visit to their web site I believe it's just two live dogs in confinement named Molly and Carter. The good news is, you don't have to visit a pricey museum to pay your respect to these breathing representations of Titanic's unfortunate canines — you can just visit their web cam!

Well, I say it's about time! All too often the passing of those pampered yet heroic pets is overshadowed by the fifteen hundred humans who died too. But when will we finally see the much-needed tribute to the cats of the Hindenburg?

MONKEY GOGGLES ARTICLE: WHY I'M GOING TO MISS PHYSICAL MEDIA

2010-07-09T01:35:00.005-05:00

Speculating on the future of digital media usually gets me pretty excited, but recently I've been struck by some of the downsides to a world without CDs, DVDs and books. I explore these in my latest article for Monkey Goggles which you can read here. Use your iPad if you wish.

NEW ARTICLE: NATURAL PRANKSTER

2010-04-01T11:22:00.004-05:00

In celebration of April Fool's Day I shared a true anecdote over at Monkey Goggles that I experienced while designing a catalog for the S.S. Adams prank and magic company- Feel free to check it out!

GEEK AND FIND

2010-02-15T15:22:00.007-06:00

Before the Secret Fun Spot manifested as a web site, it started out in my closet. One day I decided that all of my fun stuff would be even more fun if it was assembled in one place where I could see it all at once. Thus I set up a shrine-like display in my closet where I could retreat after a tough day in front of the Atari.

Years later a The Facts of Life episode (when the girls opened up the trendy novelty shop) inspired me to unleash the fun upon the rest of my bedroom.

My dad assured me that the time would soon come when I would shed the toys. I secretly believed him, but somehow it never happened. Anyway, I'm not sure why it's taken me this long to share these photos with you, but here's a set that was taken when I was thirteen and more concerned with the length of my mullet than the length of my pant legs.

(click any image for super-sizing)

Can you find:
-Transformers radio headphones
-Airbrushed painters cap
-Stained glass Pac-Man that I made
-Homemade Ghostbusters suit
-The Yip from the Other World action figure series
-Painter Smurf
-Darth Vader bank
-E.T. poster from McDonald's
-This cup

Can you find:
-Smurf Berry Punch glasses set from Hardee's
-Hardee's Camero race car with the truck and trailer
-Two sticks of novelty holiday chapstick from Avon
-Atari Force Comic Book
-Two Mogwai and a Gremlin
-A wrapper for the Marvel First Issue Covers card set
-My initials written like the Duran Duran logo
-A poster of a bunch of monsters at a dinner party from Dynamite magazine
-The E.T. figure from the E.T. board game from Parker Brothers

(You can't see it, but behind Felix the Cat's ear is a jumbo size Lisa Frank bear sticker)

Can you find:
-The commemorative Jackson 5 Reunion tour Pepsi cans
-Jumbo Dwight Gooden card
-Moss man riding Blackstar's Warlock dragon
-Ranger Rick poster
-3-D generic video game poster from Dynamite magazine
-Super Powers, Tron, Pac-Man and Voltron action figures
-Journey Frontiers mirror carnival prize
-Trading cards of Mork and Mindy, Hulk, Super Pac-Man, Jaws 3-D, and other works of Lucas and Spielberg
-M Network sticker (mail away with purchase of Tron Atari games)
-Duran Duran Rio 12" single (along with about 20 posters of them)
-Spooky Action Cut-Outs book as seen in this post
-The Skeleton Pen from this post
-Major Bones Skeleton Warrior as seen in this post
-The Blood Flavored Lab bank featured in this post
-Penn Plax Creature from the Black Lagoon fish tank ornament as seen in one of my first ever blog posts.

BONUS PHOTO: That is one fine Gremlins collection...

25 ACTION FIGURE CARD BACKS FROM THE 1980s

2010-01-17T03:32:00.014-06:00

Oh, how they mocked me for saving the backs of my action figure blister packs through the decades, but now....now my master plan has come to fruition! Now I am the Keeper of the Knowledge of the card backs...and the power is all mine! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

(Click on any image to make it giant-size! Hit 'refresh' if all the images don't load.)

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Wow, seventy-seven figures seemed like a lot. Today you can add over one thousand more to your checklist. They were the rise of Kenner and the fall of the Mego cooperation who declined to handle the license. It's pretty amazing that Kenner's Star Wars toys turned out to be as revolutionary as the film itself. This list would look entirely different without them. While the 12-inch G.I. Joe and the Mego Superheros still seemed like dolls with their pajama-like removable clothing, the Star Wars line truly lived up to the name "action figure."

I'm still perplexed by the arrangement of the figures seen here. This is something I spent many childhood hours trying to decode. Sure, the ones from Jedi are all at the bottom but the rest are a mishmash. A Bespin Guard next to a Tusken Raider? Vader next to Yoda?! There are so many missed opportunities: they could have been organized by film, or by allegiance, or release date, or planet of origin, or age... I must stop. I told myself I wouldn't do this again.

(Note the ravaged bottom right corner where the proof of purchase was removed.)

If you like this image you may be interested in a print of a later Kenner photo shoot by photographer Kim Simmons.

Super Powers Collection (1985)

I grew up a Marvel apologist so it is only now that I can finally admit how excellent Kenner's Super Powers collection is. Their perfect sculpts and vivid colors make them look like they leapt straight out of a comic. Yet the Achilles' heel of the collection is the ridiculous Justice Jogger (seen in the bottom right corner). Why a "jogger" for Superman when he can run around the Earth in an instant? Is this a commentary on our judicial system? It's been described as Superman's La-Z-Boy. It even has a protective transparent visor— what, for his hair? Oh, it's super alright— superflous. (Zing!)

Secret Wars (1984)

Hey, Mattel, is this the best you could do for us Marvel lovers? The figures look pretty good, but many of them have identical bodies and identical guns. And the whole shield thing is atrocious. Wolverine would never carry around some giant, bright red, mystic shield that tells the future. Even the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't tote these shields. They even dared to replace Captain America's trademark star shield?! And they picked Kang the Conqueror as one of the first eight figures? Be sure to enlarge this one and check out the printing job that they did too.

TRON (1982)

What cool toys and what a cool photo. Could these be the first translucent action figures? More recently toy makers have used this technique for all sorts of ghosts and invisible characters, not to mention annoying "rare variants." The ones in the photo must be prototypes because the real TRON figures didn't have corpse-like white faces. I'm glad.

Thundercats (1986)

And then there's Panthro. He uses nunchakus! But that is not all— his nunchakus HAVE CLAWS ON THEM! I was double-sold.

Thundercats Miniatures (1986)

Poor KidWorks toy company. Looks like they had such high hopes for this line. That many accessories for a collection of miniatures is unheard of! Now KidWorks is no more. Oh, I did my part; I bought one. Where where you when they needed you?!

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (1983)

This arrangement always confused me. The four guys in the amazing painting are articulated action figures while the hunks of plastic in the photo are "Monster Adventure Figures" from a completely different company, and they're frozen in their poses. Somehow I ended up with some of both and I became the laughing stock of every dungeon master on my block; which is to say nobody. I still had fun with these even though playing with them made me a suicidal occultist.

Robotech (1985)

Always be suspicious when they only show you illustrations of the other figures. In this case the real things weren't too bad, but it's still a good rule to live by.

Universal Monsters (1980)

These are among my very favorite figures, but a black and white photo? Well, I suppose that is how they originally appeared in the movies, but it doesn't get any cheaper looking than this.

The Legend Bruce Lee

I spoke too soon. Chuck Norris would never settle for this treatment.

The Other World (1983)

I scored nearly this entire collection from the clearance rack for just a few bucks. It wasn't long before the local Salvation Army scored my entire collection for free. I wholeheartedly tried to immerse myself in the mysterious Other World where Raidy the King presumably likes to raid and where they're not afraid to name their two headed maniac Skitzo (though Multiple Personality Disordero would be a more scientifically accurate name.) But these weren't real action figures, they were rubbery wire-frame bendys and my standards were just too lofty at the time. They did score points for the ever-smiling, little orange Yipps (I held on to one) and I liked that all their weapons glowed in the dark.

The Real Ghostbusters (1986)

Their tag line strikes me as funny, "Join the Real Ghostbusters in their ghost-chasing pursuits!" It seems downright academic compared to what it would be now, something like "Bustin 2 the X-treme makes me feel goooood!" By the time these arrived Kenner had proven themselves masters in the art of action figuring. I'm still not comfortable with the different colored coveralls, just as I frowned upon the Ninja Turtles getting different colored masks, but I suppose I understand the logic. The proton packs were well designed, but there was no easy way to remove the "particle stream" so the guys were constantly shooting each other.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1988)

I got my first real job, landscaping, when I was sixteen years old. Soon as I received my first paycheck I promptly cashed it and took the money to Wal-Mart where I purchased the first ten Ninja Turtle figures and a radar detector.

Robocop (1988)

Quite a bit of kiddie entertainment in the 1980s was derived from R-rated source material such as Rambo, Police Academy, Commando, and most astonishingly, The Toxic Avenger. This was frustrating to kids like myself who didn't have lax parents. Kenner pioneered the trend when they produced their 18-inch figure based on Ridley Scott's Alien in 1979. Getting the Robocop figure didn't contribute to my delinquency but watching the movie at the drive-in with my friend and his lax mother may have.

Swamp Thing (1990)

1990? Sorry Swampy, you're not welcome in this list. Wait, before you go I must say that your lame villains look like they stuck finger puppets on their heads.

Donkey Kong (1982)

Before the princess, Mario dated Pauline. Now you know. I always thought it was freaky that she was playing a game of Donkey Kong. These days they call that being "meta."

Pac-Man (1982)

Some creative liberties were definitely taken here for the sake of a buck: groom Pac-Man... dead Pac-Man? It all paints a pretty bleak picture- he eats, he's chased, he gets married, he dies.

Pee-Wee's Playhouse (1988)

This is a fantastic set. On a packaging note, it's odd that half of the products advertised are merely described with text. It's not an effective choice because I literally owned this figure for twenty years before I read those descriptions.
Hmmm, all that stuff sounded really good; I'd better go hit ebay.

M*A*S*H* (1982)

This is the series that's known for bringing the first cross-dressing character to the toy shelves. I bought this one when I was a teenager so I can't imagine how children would actually play with these figures. They only make slightly more sense than the Love Boat figures that came out around the same time. However, mixing the two sets would have been epic.

Masters of the Universe (1981)

Did you notice right away that this package is a reproduction? Good. I was just testing you.

G.I. Joe (1989)

If you must know why I held out on G.I. Joe until the late 80s it's because of one tiny detail— rivets. The four-inch Joes had shiny metal joints on their shoulders, and having grown so accustomed to Star Wars figures with their seamless, yet permanently stiff arms, I found the new approach too aesthetically distracting. For years I remained in denial of the fact that the cool poses they were capable of far outweighed the flaw. But it's just as well, I was able to focus on my precious Star Wars without having my resources divided among the two competing franchises.

Eventually Hasbro took over Star Wars and added full, rivet-less articulation to them while removing the metal eyesores from their G.I. Joe line, all proving that there is hope for humanity.

Captain Power (1987)

This was part of a huge and expensive endeavor to combine a toy line with an interactive live-action television show. The show seemed pretty cool but it tanked for numerous reasons, thus I got this one for a song at the local Kay-Bee. I like how the package is supposed to look like printer paper with holes for those old "tractor feed" printers.

Beetlejuice (1989)

Can you spot Kenner's conspiracy to punish the casual Beetlejuice fan? Imagine that you want a Beetlejuice—just a plain Beetlejuice. Not one dressed like an artist, or one with a head that looks like a merry-go-round, or a groom— just the normal one. Yeah, there it is, the one pictured with the Vanishing Vault. It doesn't exist! Unless of course you buy Showtime Beetlejuice and stick its head on Spinhead Beetlejuice. Then you're forced to piece together the unwanted remnants to form a horrendous groom-body/carousel-head guy. Well, I guess you could give that one to your cousin and he'd probably be totally grateful.

Defenders of the Earth (1985)

When these came out I was really rooting for them. I liked the idea that a bunch of characters that our grandfathers were excited about could please a new generation. But I'm not sure of how successful they were. On one hand they made sixty-five episodes of the cartoon, and Marvel did a comic of them, but on the other I bought all mine on super-clearance. Regardless, Mandrake is the coolest magician action figure ever.

The Interchangables (1985)

If you thought these were called Micronauts it's because they were before the Mego company folded and sold the molds to Hourtoy. If you thought these were called Microman it's because you are Japanese and that's what they were before Mego introduced them to the United States. Rather than upholding the legacy of the originals Hourtoy shamed them by using inferior plastic and changing the contents of the sets.

As a kid I was baffled and even a bit frightened of the Micronauts toy line. They looked cool, but they lacked visual coherence. Who was the main character? Why did their vehicles look so stupid and come with weird spare pieces? Were they puzzles or toys? All I did know is that they were cold, eerie, and super skinny so I fled. Hoping to gain some understanding I bought the Marvel comic book, but it confused me even more with its slew of characters that weren't part of the toy line. When I grew older still, I bought this "Cosmic Warp Chamber" in another attempt to make sense of it all. It only filled me with more questions, and there was no internet to sooth my mental turmoil.

Star Trek: The Next Generation (1988)

Sheesh, these things are worthless now. Back in the day everyone thought that the legions of Trekkies would keep them in permanent high demand. I just looked this one up on ebay and there's a completed auction for ninety-nine cents that got zero bids. I remember being instructed to snatch up a Tasha Yar if I was ever lucky enough to find one. In a recent auction she couldn't pull in $4.70 or best offer.
Say, what's up with Worf's photo? Is he in front of a blue screen? What a joke!
Okay, okay, I take that back. Sorry, I'm just a little bitter about these; they were supposed to be in lieu of a 401k plan.

Nightmare Warriors (1983)

This is such a wonderful B-grade line; an obvious attempt at tricking grandmas into thinking they are Skeletor's brothers. The set includes some of history's most interesting characters, only dead. I like that there's room for both a Roman soldier and a medieval knight, A less subtle toy company might have just thrown a wizard or an astronaut into the mix. I notice that they opted not to name the U.S. soldier after anybody real. Is it "too soon" after the world wars?

(There's a nice post on these at Weirdo Toys.)

SEE SUPERMAN AND THE GIANT CYCLOPS!

2010-01-13T16:45:00.001-06:00

Now that you've seen the advertisement, you instantly have a new goal in your life— to see Superman and the Giant Cyclops! Your curiosity is already growing rampant, but like most of the tens of thousands of kids who have seen this ad, you can't go to the 1964 World's Fair. This painful predicament has haunted Devlin Thompson for decades. Devlin operates Athen's Bizarro Wuxtry comic shop as well as the Home of Bippy blog, where he has finally solved the mystery of the Superman/Cyclops ad!

I found the reveal to be surprisingly satisfying. Discovering the truth behind comic book ads is of the noblest endeavors. Well done Mr. Thompson.

GORILLA MASK HUNT

2010-01-10T16:14:00.006-06:00

UPDATED YET AGAIN: Boy, my knowledge of gorilla facewear has increased tremendously this week. Raymond Castile of the invaluable Gallery of Monster Toys, has helped me determine what the Johnson Smith "Savage Gorilla (With hair)" mask actually looks like. Ray has it in his collection...

It's everything I hoped it would be. Thanks Ray!

[And now, here's the post as it originally began...]
Ever since I was forbidden by my parents to send my allowance to the "shysters" who advertised amazing novelties in my comic books, I've grown more and more obsessed with tracking down the treasures I was denied. Many of these items turn out to be as fraudulent as my parents had warned, but that just adds to their appeal.

I recently took a low stakes gamble and nabbed this fine facial enhancement on ebay, with hopes that it might be the gorilla mask I'd seen advertised so many times...

~~So here's my question for all of you mask experts and/or people who were allowed to order from comic book ads: Was this mask ever sold through the Johnson Smith ad (shown at the top of the post)?~~

The mask shown above is from the late 80s or even early 90s and therefore it was not "the one."

The mask was made by Topstone, the preferred mask supplier for Johnson Smith, Honor House and other mail order folks. I realized my gorilla has no teeth, but certain ads ran for many years, and novelty companies had to use different models of the products, even though the original illustrations were still shown. So I thought it possible that mine could be one of many varieties that were offered.

Another theory was that the Johnson Smith gorilla mas was the same as the Captain Company (of Famous Monsters of Filmland) gorilla monster mask since they used the same illustration. Evil Wilhelm of Monster Mayhem shared this photo of a recast of that mask...

By the way, blanks of this design happen to be available at Monster Mayhem. Here's what they look like unpainted and painted...

I've learned that this one was offered much earlier than the Johnson Smith ad and probably wasn't sold through them.

Then there were my other theories that involved this design or the mask Ernie Kovacs used as props on his show. Alas I think the truth has been uncovered.

RECENT WORKS

2010-01-08T01:44:00.002-06:00

Here's one of the reasons why I've had to neglected the Fun Blog in recent months. Well, three of them actually. I've been adding to my growing list of film family portraits. This time my latest batch are all commissioned pieces, and what's astoundingly cool is the fact that I've been covering films for the very filmmakers who brought them to the screen!

The Hoovers, inspired by Little Miss Sunshine

commissioned by producer Jeb Brody

The Barnhardts, inspired by Observe and Report
commissioned by producer Andrew Haas

Walter, inspired by The King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters
commissioned by director Seth Gordon

See the entire series HERE

SEVEN NEW GREETING CARDS FROM PAKISTAN

2010-01-08T01:28:00.006-06:00

My friend Matt recently returned from a visit to Pakistan with a handful of greeting cards. They're hilarious, and not just because they mangle the English language so badly. So I shared them all over at Monkey Goggles.