25 ACTION FIGURE CARD BACKS FROM THE 1980s

Oh, how they mocked me for saving the backs of my action figure blister packs through the decades, but now....now my master plan has come to fruition! Now I am the Keeper of the Knowledge of the card backs...and the power is all mine! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

(Click on any image to make it giant-size! Hit 'refresh' if all the images don't load.)

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Wow, seventy-seven figures seemed like a lot. Today you can add over one thousand more to your checklist. They were the rise of Kenner and the fall of the Mego cooperation who declined to handle the license. It's pretty amazing that Kenner's Star Wars toys turned out to be as revolutionary as the film itself. This list would look entirely different without them. While the 12-inch G.I. Joe and the Mego Superheros still seemed like dolls with their pajama-like removable clothing, the Star Wars line truly lived up to the name "action figure."

I'm still perplexed by the arrangement of the figures seen here. This is something I spent many childhood hours trying to decode. Sure, the ones from Jedi are all at the bottom but the rest are a mishmash. A Bespin Guard next to a Tusken Raider? Vader next to Yoda?! There are so many missed opportunities: they could have been organized by film, or by allegiance, or release date, or planet of origin, or age... I must stop. I told myself I wouldn't do this again.

(Note the ravaged bottom right corner where the proof of purchase was removed.)

If you like this image you may be interested in a print of a later Kenner photo shoot by photographer Kim Simmons.

Super Powers Collection (1985)

I grew up a Marvel apologist so it is only now that I can finally admit how excellent Kenner's Super Powers collection is. Their perfect sculpts and vivid colors make them look like they leapt straight out of a comic. Yet the Achilles' heel of the collection is the ridiculous Justice Jogger (seen in the bottom right corner). Why a "jogger" for Superman when he can run around the Earth in an instant? Is this a commentary on our judicial system? It's been described as Superman's La-Z-Boy. It even has a protective transparent visor— what, for his hair? Oh, it's super alright— superflous. (Zing!)

Secret Wars (1984)

Hey, Mattel, is this the best you could do for us Marvel lovers? The figures look pretty good, but many of them have identical bodies and identical guns. And the whole shield thing is atrocious. Wolverine would never carry around some giant, bright red, mystic shield that tells the future. Even the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't tote these shields. They even dared to replace Captain America's trademark star shield?! And they picked Kang the Conqueror as one of the first eight figures? Be sure to enlarge this one and check out the printing job that they did too.

TRON (1982)

What cool toys and what a cool photo. Could these be the first translucent action figures? More recently toy makers have used this technique for all sorts of ghosts and invisible characters, not to mention annoying "rare variants." The ones in the photo must be prototypes because the real TRON figures didn't have corpse-like white faces. I'm glad.

Thundercats (1986)

And then there's Panthro. He uses nunchakus! But that is not all— his nunchakus HAVE CLAWS ON THEM! I was double-sold.

Thundercats Miniatures (1986)

Poor KidWorks toy company. Looks like they had such high hopes for this line. That many accessories for a collection of miniatures is unheard of! Now KidWorks is no more. Oh, I did my part; I bought one. Where where you when they needed you?!

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (1983)

This arrangement always confused me. The four guys in the amazing painting are articulated action figures while the hunks of plastic in the photo are "Monster Adventure Figures" from a completely different company, and they're frozen in their poses. Somehow I ended up with some of both and I became the laughing stock of every dungeon master on my block; which is to say nobody. I still had fun with these even though playing with them made me a suicidal occultist.

Robotech (1985)

Always be suspicious when they only show you illustrations of the other figures. In this case the real things weren't too bad, but it's still a good rule to live by.

Universal Monsters (1980)

These are among my very favorite figures, but a black and white photo? Well, I suppose that is how they originally appeared in the movies, but it doesn't get any cheaper looking than this.

The Legend Bruce Lee

I spoke too soon. Chuck Norris would never settle for this treatment.

The Other World (1983)

I scored nearly this entire collection from the clearance rack for just a few bucks. It wasn't long before the local Salvation Army scored my entire collection for free. I wholeheartedly tried to immerse myself in the mysterious Other World where Raidy the King presumably likes to raid and where they're not afraid to name their two headed maniac Skitzo (though Multiple Personality Disordero would be a more scientifically accurate name.) But these weren't real action figures, they were rubbery wire-frame bendys and my standards were just too lofty at the time. They did score points for the ever-smiling, little orange Yipps (I held on to one) and I liked that all their weapons glowed in the dark.

The Real Ghostbusters (1986)

Their tag line strikes me as funny, "Join the Real Ghostbusters in their ghost-chasing pursuits!" It seems downright academic compared to what it would be now, something like "Bustin 2 the X-treme makes me feel goooood!" By the time these arrived Kenner had proven themselves masters in the art of action figuring. I'm still not comfortable with the different colored coveralls, just as I frowned upon the Ninja Turtles getting different colored masks, but I suppose I understand the logic. The proton packs were well designed, but there was no easy way to remove the "particle stream" so the guys were constantly shooting each other.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1988)

I got my first real job, landscaping, when I was sixteen years old. Soon as I received my first paycheck I promptly cashed it and took the money to Wal-Mart where I purchased the first ten Ninja Turtle figures and a radar detector.

Robocop (1988)

Quite a bit of kiddie entertainment in the 1980s was derived from R-rated source material such as Rambo, Police Academy, Commando, and most astonishingly, The Toxic Avenger. This was frustrating to kids like myself who didn't have lax parents. Kenner pioneered the trend when they produced their 18-inch figure based on Ridley Scott's Alien in 1979. Getting the Robocop figure didn't contribute to my delinquency but watching the movie at the drive-in with my friend and his lax mother may have.

Swamp Thing (1990)

1990? Sorry Swampy, you're not welcome in this list. Wait, before you go I must say that your lame villains look like they stuck finger puppets on their heads.

Donkey Kong (1982)

Before the princess, Mario dated Pauline. Now you know. I always thought it was freaky that she was playing a game of Donkey Kong. These days they call that being "meta."

Pac-Man (1982)

Some creative liberties were definitely taken here for the sake of a buck: groom Pac-Man... dead Pac-Man? It all paints a pretty bleak picture- he eats, he's chased, he gets married, he dies.

Pee-Wee's Playhouse (1988)

This is a fantastic set. On a packaging note, it's odd that half of the products advertised are merely described with text. It's not an effective choice because I literally owned this figure for twenty years before I read those descriptions.
Hmmm, all that stuff sounded really good; I'd better go hit ebay.

M*A*S*H* (1982)

This is the series that's known for bringing the first cross-dressing character to the toy shelves. I bought this one when I was a teenager so I can't imagine how children would actually play with these figures. They only make slightly more sense than the Love Boat figures that came out around the same time. However, mixing the two sets would have been epic.

Masters of the Universe (1981)

Did you notice right away that this package is a reproduction? Good. I was just testing you.

G.I. Joe (1989)

If you must know why I held out on G.I. Joe until the late 80s it's because of one tiny detail— rivets. The four-inch Joes had shiny metal joints on their shoulders, and having grown so accustomed to Star Wars figures with their seamless, yet permanently stiff arms, I found the new approach too aesthetically distracting. For years I remained in denial of the fact that the cool poses they were capable of far outweighed the flaw. But it's just as well, I was able to focus on my precious Star Wars without having my resources divided among the two competing franchises.

Eventually Hasbro took over Star Wars and added full, rivet-less articulation to them while removing the metal eyesores from their G.I. Joe line, all proving that there is hope for humanity.

Captain Power (1987)

This was part of a huge and expensive endeavor to combine a toy line with an interactive live-action television show. The show seemed pretty cool but it tanked for numerous reasons, thus I got this one for a song at the local Kay-Bee. I like how the package is supposed to look like printer paper with holes for those old "tractor feed" printers.

Beetlejuice (1989)

Can you spot Kenner's conspiracy to punish the casual Beetlejuice fan? Imagine that you want a Beetlejuice—just a plain Beetlejuice. Not one dressed like an artist, or one with a head that looks like a merry-go-round, or a groom— just the normal one. Yeah, there it is, the one pictured with the Vanishing Vault. It doesn't exist! Unless of course you buy Showtime Beetlejuice and stick its head on Spinhead Beetlejuice. Then you're forced to piece together the unwanted remnants to form a horrendous groom-body/carousel-head guy. Well, I guess you could give that one to your cousin and he'd probably be totally grateful.

Defenders of the Earth (1985)

When these came out I was really rooting for them. I liked the idea that a bunch of characters that our grandfathers were excited about could please a new generation. But I'm not sure of how successful they were. On one hand they made sixty-five episodes of the cartoon, and Marvel did a comic of them, but on the other I bought all mine on super-clearance. Regardless, Mandrake is the coolest magician action figure ever.

The Interchangables (1985)

If you thought these were called Micronauts it's because they were before the Mego company folded and sold the molds to Hourtoy. If you thought these were called Microman it's because you are Japanese and that's what they were before Mego introduced them to the United States. Rather than upholding the legacy of the originals Hourtoy shamed them by using inferior plastic and changing the contents of the sets.

As a kid I was baffled and even a bit frightened of the Micronauts toy line. They looked cool, but they lacked visual coherence. Who was the main character? Why did their vehicles look so stupid and come with weird spare pieces? Were they puzzles or toys? All I did know is that they were cold, eerie, and super skinny so I fled. Hoping to gain some understanding I bought the Marvel comic book, but it confused me even more with its slew of characters that weren't part of the toy line. When I grew older still, I bought this "Cosmic Warp Chamber" in another attempt to make sense of it all. It only filled me with more questions, and there was no internet to sooth my mental turmoil.

Star Trek: The Next Generation (1988)

Sheesh, these things are worthless now. Back in the day everyone thought that the legions of Trekkies would keep them in permanent high demand. I just looked this one up on ebay and there's a completed auction for ninety-nine cents that got zero bids. I remember being instructed to snatch up a Tasha Yar if I was ever lucky enough to find one. In a recent auction she couldn't pull in $4.70 or best offer.
Say, what's up with Worf's photo? Is he in front of a blue screen? What a joke!
Okay, okay, I take that back. Sorry, I'm just a little bitter about these; they were supposed to be in lieu of a 401k plan.

Nightmare Warriors (1983)

This is such a wonderful B-grade line; an obvious attempt at tricking grandmas into thinking they are Skeletor's brothers. The set includes some of history's most interesting characters, only dead. I like that there's room for both a Roman soldier and a medieval knight, A less subtle toy company might have just thrown a wizard or an astronaut into the mix. I notice that they opted not to name the U.S. soldier after anybody real. Is it "too soon" after the world wars?

(There's a nice post on these at Weirdo Toys.)

SEE SUPERMAN AND THE GIANT CYCLOPS!

Now that you've seen the advertisement, you instantly have a new goal in your life— to see Superman and the Giant Cyclops! Your curiosity is already growing rampant, but like most of the tens of thousands of kids who have seen this ad, you can't go to the 1964 World's Fair. This painful predicament has haunted Devlin Thompson for decades. Devlin operates Athen's Bizarro Wuxtry comic shop as well as the Home of Bippy blog, where he has finally solved the mystery of the Superman/Cyclops ad!

I found the reveal to be surprisingly satisfying. Discovering the truth behind comic book ads is of the noblest endeavors. Well done Mr. Thompson.

GORILLA MASK HUNT

UPDATED YET AGAIN: Boy, my knowledge of gorilla facewear has increased tremendously this week. Raymond Castile of the invaluable Gallery of Monster Toys, has helped me determine what the Johnson Smith "Savage Gorilla (With hair)" mask actually looks like. Ray has it in his collection...

It's everything I hoped it would be. Thanks Ray!

[And now, here's the post as it originally began...]
Ever since I was forbidden by my parents to send my allowance to the "shysters" who advertised amazing novelties in my comic books, I've grown more and more obsessed with tracking down the treasures I was denied. Many of these items turn out to be as fraudulent as my parents had warned, but that just adds to their appeal.

I recently took a low stakes gamble and nabbed this fine facial enhancement on ebay, with hopes that it might be the gorilla mask I'd seen advertised so many times...


So here's my question for all of you mask experts and/or people who were allowed to order from comic book ads: Was this mask ever sold through the Johnson Smith ad (shown at the top of the post)?

The mask shown above is from the late 80s or even early 90s and therefore it was not "the one."

The mask was made by Topstone, the preferred mask supplier for Johnson Smith, Honor House and other mail order folks. I realized my gorilla has no teeth, but certain ads ran for many years, and novelty companies had to use different models of the products, even though the original illustrations were still shown. So I thought it possible that mine could be one of many varieties that were offered.

Another theory was that the Johnson Smith gorilla mas was the same as the Captain Company (of Famous Monsters of Filmland) gorilla monster mask since they used the same illustration. Evil Wilhelm of Monster Mayhem shared this photo of a recast of that mask...

By the way, blanks of this design happen to be available at Monster Mayhem. Here's what they look like unpainted and painted...



I've learned that this one was offered much earlier than the Johnson Smith ad and probably wasn't sold through them.

Then there were my other theories that involved this design or the mask Ernie Kovacs used as props on his show. Alas I think the truth has been uncovered.

RECENT WORKS

Here's one of the reasons why I've had to neglected the Fun Blog in recent months. Well, three of them actually. I've been adding to my growing list of film family portraits. This time my latest batch are all commissioned pieces, and what's astoundingly cool is the fact that I've been covering films for the very filmmakers who brought them to the screen!

The Hoovers, inspired by Little Miss Sunshine

commissioned by producer Jeb Brody

The Barnhardts, inspired by Observe and Report
commissioned by producer Andrew Haas

Walter, inspired by The King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters
commissioned by director Seth Gordon

See the entire series HERE

SEVEN NEW GREETING CARDS FROM PAKISTAN

My friend Matt recently returned from a visit to Pakistan with a handful of greeting cards. They're hilarious, and not just because they mangle the English language so badly. So I shared them all over at Monkey Goggles.

THE LOST ROAD TRIP PART II: BEING THERE

Continued from Part I.

I love the way the Pacific time zone makes me feel like a normal human. The world's 8 o'clock is my 10 o'clock, but in California these merge flawlessly. So on Tuesday I woke up ready to get out there and see something new and unusual— morning.


Our single rule was that we could only travel streets that are mentioned in popular songs or film titles, so we started on Ventura and made our way to Mulholland Drive (seen above). I'm joking about the rule, but I'm sure it's possible. Really, all I wanted to do was have some fun... until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard. Actually, we drove up to Hillside Manner sometime after 2 AM and talked a little while about the year. Baaah, I must stop. But it really was a good day. I didn't even have to use my A.K. Okay I'll stop!

Speaking of Mulholland, how does this house have the D from the old Disneyland sign!?! (UPDATE: see the comments for more info, thanks Giddy Girlie!)

This is the product of blindly holding my camera out the window while driving. Not bad considering.

The Hollywood Ripley's is one of the few I haven't been to. Next time.

As you may recall I had asked comedian, L.A. resident, and host of the LOST art project Paul Scheer where we should go during our precious hours in the city. Concerning lunch, he asked me if I wanted the best Taco in the world. This forced me to reveal my shamefully narrow culinary tastes, so instead he suggested a diner called Fred 62. An eatery with the name of a person followed by a number sounded plenty exotic to me, and the place turned out to be great...



He told us that this lunch choice would conveniently position us on Vermont street which is home to a bunch of cool shops including one of his favorite book stores...


Not to mention the Dresden as seen in one of my most favorite flicks, Swingers!...

Remember the couple at the keyboards and drums (Marty and Elayne) singing the Bee Gees' Staying Alive? The whole speech about the bunny with the fangs and claws? That scene took place in the Dresden.

The Y-Que Trading Post had a hefty supply of Accoutrements novelties and novelty T-shirts. And they burn incense and play house music just like Sound Warehouse did when I was a teenager.

Vacation vinyl music around the corner on Hollywood Blvd. was a great surprise. They had a nice selection of new and used records and the store is beautiful. (Not to mention their logo that so elegantly apes/celebrates the classic "Open" sign.)

My brain was not prepared for what came next...


How has this place escaped me? I've heard of La Luz de Jesus gallery. It's said to be key in the development of the "Lowbrow" art movement...




But I was surprised to find it hidden behind all of this...


It has to be the most comprehensive novelty/pop culture store I've ever encountered. There's an emphasis on books (My Amazon wish list has changed dramatically since my visit) and toys, including a lot of designer toys. And again there was Archie Mcphee stuff all over the place.


Anything looks great on teal pegboard.


My timing couldn't have been better because the current temporary exhibit (and sale) was by Shine Gallery, a dealer of vintage, unsold store stock!


Chris and David at S.S. Adams turned me on to Shine Gallery's drool-worthy web site years ago, so it was amazing to be surrounded by their wares...






I love how they combined products and printed materials in these inspiring vignettes...


Don't fret if you missed the exhibit, it's all still available at ShineGallery.com


Before I left Wacko I even discovered some of my own handiwork dwelling among it all. (I'm the proud designer of the dog mess packaging)...


Wacko, I will be backo. (pure hilarity!)

Suddenly it was almost time for the art show. We arrived to find an enormous line. The folks in the front had been there for twenty-six hours! Their devotion was rewarded with pizza from ABC television, prizes (like pairs of LOST tennis shoes), and visits from LOST writers Damon and Carlton.



There were lots of video crews there. G4, CNN, and the LOST DVD extras team...


As we entered we were each handed a print of the final poster (by Tyler Stout) from the series that had been slowly revealed since late summer...

It's awesome, but I must admit that mine's going up on ebay to recoup some gas money.


One of the first things I saw in the gallery was the black velvet painting that kicked off the whole project at Comic Con last summer.

The wall on my right featured the sixteen LOST prints. Here are a few...

by Olly Moss

by Methane Studios

by Ken Taylor

And around the congested corner were the original pieces...

by Ben Strawn

by Lauren Gregg

by Jeff McMillan

by Dan Lydersen

top left: Julian Callos, top right: Dan May, bottom left: Leontine Greenberg, bottom right: That's mine!

They also had these great custom painted statues by a bunch of different artists. If you want to see all the art then just go HERE.


The place was hopping, but we all know what the real draw was...

LOST writers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof. Of course the place went nuts when they emerged.

After a very long and claustrophobic wait, this was my triumphant next-in-line view. As soon as he finished shaking this guy's hand Damon leaned aside and had a coughing fit. The expression on his face that followed was sort of a shocked look of "Whoa, that was rough." With that he walked over to Jensen the curator and patted him goodbye.

You know all that stuff about being patient and courteous? It's bunk. From now on I'm gonna be all "fortune favors the bold!"

But I did have the honor of meeting a guy who's worth fifty Damon Lindelofs. This is Brandon, and he had just purchased a print of my Johnsons family portrait...

No Brandon, 'tis you who deserves a thumbs up. Thanks.

I also got to meet the extremely talented artist, Daniel Danger, seen here caught in the death ray that is my camera's flash...


As well as LOST producer Bryan Burk, along with some of the other super-nice folks at Bad Robot.


What really made my night was seeing the little red "sold" dot go up next to my piece. For that I have "ReverendMilo" to thank. He's ringleader, webmaster, and the die-hardest of the die hard LOST ARGs community. May you enjoy the piece for many years Milo! Your payment will go towards the parking ticket I discovered on my windshield after the show. Yeah, this little beauty was hovering high somewhere down the street...


It was a classic Midwestern-kid-gets-chewed-up-by-the-big-city moment. But lets not end on a sour note. For this is how I will always remember the show...

From left: Paul Scheer, Me, Jensen Karp