PAINTINGS BY THE OTHER PABLO

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This ad is from the 1963 Sunset House gift catalog and it's for real. This is possibly the greatest product and/or service ever offered in the history of mail order.

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON INTROS 1983-84

In 1983 I was in fifth grade, and recess discussions surrounding Saturday morning cartoons were an enjoyable and common pastime. In the Fall of '84 I discovered that the subject had abruptly become taboo among my classmates. Mention of one's interest in say, The Mighty Orbots was grounds for public mockery. Everyone else just seemed to "grow up" that summer. I adapted to the new rules by keeping my passion for weekend animation to myself and a few other low-profile devotees. I hung on to my morning tooning rituals until my late teens when it was my craving for additional sleep, not peer pressure, that put an end to my habit.

83-84 was a highlight in my cartoon watching career, most likely due to the combination of video game inspired programming (which somehow made almost any show tolerable for me) and a handful of well written shows like Dungeons & Dragons and Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends. With YouTube growing more and more populated, I recently set out to see what sort of Saturday cartoon introductions I could find from this and other eras. Referencing this site, I located quite a few, including most of my favorites. (Although Rubik the Amazing Cube and Dragon's Lair are sadly absent.) Without further ado, here are my findings (Click on the text links to view the intos in a new window. In standard YouTube fashion, image quality varies)...

__________________1983_________________

Saturday Supercade

Pac-Man

Smurfs

Spider-man and His Amazing Friends

Scooby and Scrappy-Doo

The Littles

Dungeons & Dragons (snippet with commercials)

Charlie Brown and Snoopy

Alvin and the Chipmunks


Shirt Tales

Dukes of Hazzard

Mr. T

__________________1984__________________

Kidd Video

Mighty Orbots

Turbo Teen

Snorks


Muppet Babies


Pole Position

Pryor's Place

IT'S TOXIE (SAFE AND NON-TOXIC)

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A while back, I unexpectedly found this Toxic Avenger figure inside a bag of Halloween-themed dollar store toys. As consumers, we expect the highest level of competency from those who manufacture the goods we buy, and yet if the makers of this particular bagged assortment of toys had any standards whatsoever they probably wouldn't have tossed a licensed toy like Toxie into the mix alongside the generic gargoyles and haunted trees.. and I would have been far less delighted.

TOXIC DILEMMA

(click to enlarge)

I've recently come upon my greatest challenge as a blogger and I see no solution in sight. Weeks ago I attempted to make a "quickie post" out of this Toxic Avenger figure that I unexpectedly found inside a bag of Halloween-themed dollar store toys. I intended to make a humorous, yet poignant remark about how we as consumers expect the highest level of competency from those who manufacture the goods we buy, and yet if the makers of this particular bagged assortment of toys had any standards whatsoever they probably wouldn't have tossed a licensed toy like Toxie into the mix alongside the generic gargoyles and haunted trees, and I would have been far less delighted.

My troubles began early this summer when I first set out to photograph the little plastic guy. I soon realized that his neon hue plays havoc with the camera, and the images turned out blurry or the color would overpower the details. For weeks I would finalize each of my "photo sessions" with yet another attempt at capturing the essence of the figure. But every effort ended in failure. That is, until tonight. I shan't disclose the amount of time I invested in the task, but I feel that I have finally generated an acceptable (though not necessarily good) likeness of my plastic Avenger.

But I went too far. I somehow managed to get two adequate photos, each with it's own unique merits, and therefore I am faced with a more diabolical question.. which one to use. Neither of the images truly represent the effigy as it appears to the naked eye. The one on the left is closer, but there's something sterile and lifeless about it. The one on the right possesses an "artistic flair" with its dramatic lighting and yet the highlights are "blown out" and his expression is almost lost. I fear that the wrong choice will disgrace the sculptor who originated this piece. If you have a preference please share it.

PARTY GAGS... IN ACTION!

There are no fascinating stories or heartfelt memories behind this item. I simply nabbed this box of "Party Gags" from ebay a few years ago. It was produced in 1959 by a Chicago outfit called Fishlove, which was a respectable novelty maker that offered favorites like Yakity-Yak chattering teeth, and a line of "giant" products such as sunglasses, combs, and toothbrushes. (A company called Fun Inc. bought them out and still offers some of their line.) This set was "coincidentally" released the same year that S.S. Adams put out a similar boxed assortment called the "Life of the Party" set. And you'll notice that the bright yellow box pictured above coincidentally bears the same phrase.

I suspect that the notion of a prank kit was spawned from the success of magic sets and disguise kits. I love the notion that one price will buy you everything needed for an outrageous evening of laffs. So just what are the ultimate fun-makers that make up this prankster's plunder, this duper's depot, this gagster's gallery, this kidder's cache??? Take a look!...


I sincerely hope that at least one jokester actually cycled through these gags at some pretentious gathering 40 years ago.

I thought it would be fun to take a closer look at each piece of this trickster's trove (okay, I'll stop.) and see how they appear in the "real world," all set up for a madcap evening.

Okay. You're a socially defective numbskull who's ready to start winning over a room full of socialites. Your first step is to stick this faucet on the TV. It's a an easy move and you're guaranteed to get reactions like...
"Whoa, I must be seeing things!"
 "Get out of town!"
 "I've heard of [something to do with water and television] before but this is ridiculous!"
Now you're on your way.

Now that you've bewildered them.. it's time to play upon their fears. The guest with the smallest bladder will be justly punished by way of an encounter with the horrific Spook Hand. Watch as they flee the bathroom in a state of partial undress. Once the shock and humiliation dissipates, the laffs begin to bubble. You're slowly becoming a hero.

Next, it's time to blast everyone's mind with this ghastly syringe illusion. The stunt won't necessarily make sense in the context of a party, but what's important is that everyone is paying attention to you. They'll be thoroughly disgusted, yet inexplicably drawn to you. I promise.

Just as you're explaining the principle behind the Hypno-Phony to the relieved crowd you'll hear the hostess shouting from the kitchen in a rage. She just went for more paper cups and discovered that somehow the authorities have condemned her cupboard, of all things. As she gives up and heads for the chinaware you approach the cabinet and effortlessly remove the lock. The party goes nuts! Yup.. you're at it again. And with this you've made it abundantly clear to the entire guest list that you are simply...the king.

But, wait.. Who's the blabbermouth in the back of the room who thinks he's charming the group with his pathetic anecdotes and name dropping? (while stealing your thunder) Pull the pre-wound chatter teeth from your coat pocket and let 'em go on a nearby surface. Fold your arms and maintain a smug expression. Watch the conversationalist start to stutter as a proverbial light is shone on his shallow ways. You just made a statement without saying a word. He'll have to run out of the room to chase down his date. And once again... it's all you.

You, the new "life of the party," have the attendees eating out of your hand.. waiting for you to lead them into further delight. No doubt, by now you're ready to finally proclaim your "true feelings" for that certain someone whom you've been eyeing all evening. (though, at this point you could really have any woman in the room.) Time to simply wind up the beating heart gag (which is actually the same mechanism as the chattering teeth) and watch her laugh.. right into your arms.

With this the party is as good as over. You just dominated the social scene and found a life partner. All thanks to a little mail-order ad that caught your eye a few months ago...

This fancy color ad is from a 1960 Bancroft's catalog. It really plays up the "spooky" factor (as though the beating heart is supposed to be frightening). I think "two million shivers" is pushing it (and that's a two-to-one shiver to laugh ratio). Looks like those ad wizards did it again.

"What this world needs is a good laugh." A timeless sentiment indeed. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this "explosion of rollicking humor."

FREAKIES COMMERCIAL

Someone recently posted a beautiful 1974 Freakies cereal commercial on Youtube, and compared to the typical uploads it's of pretty good quality. Until now I'd only seen this one in black and white so it's a real treat in glorious color. It looks like you can get more commercials if you contact the uplaoder. Watch it HERE.

VEGAS SIGN GRAVEYARD

Most folks are just like me when they visit Las Vegas...lazy. Once you arrive you don't want to worry yourself too much with additional plans or reservations, you just want to find that "World's Largest Souvenir Shop" and spend hours selecting gag gifts and a new desk clock with dice for numbers. Well, I've learned that vacation is better when you travel with someone like my friend Jason. While the rest of us were relaxing he didn't mind hunting down phone numbers, making maps and scheduling private tours. That's what you have to do if you want to get inside the YESCO Las Vegas neon sign graveyard, a dirt lot just a couple miles from the old Vegas strip which is home to dozens of historical signs that have been discarded for various reasons. You may recognize it from movies like Mars Attacks and National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation.

A search at Wikipedia revealed this.. Young Electric Sign Company (YESCO) is the oldest and largest producer of electric signs in Las Vegas, Nevada. YESCO has designed and produced many of the signs which have helped define the Las Vegas Strip. Their 'neon sign graveyard' stores signs from the city's past. Many of the signs are being restored and will be displayed in the neon museum.

We made our rendezvous with the tour guides outside a chain link fence over which giant eyes peeked back at us. I found it odd that the company would go out of their way to give tours, though they did require a minimum number of guests. (We didn't meet the minimum so some of us paid double.) An enthusiastic and knowledgeable young couple showed us the whole shebang of signs while filling our heads with back stories and answering our most ludicrous questions. Unfortunately, I can't remember much of their lecture but I thought I'd share a dozen of the snapshots I took during our unforgettable visit. They enlarge when you click 'em.

Who on earth would throw away a sign like this?

This would have been an awesome coincidence if my name were Pat Clark.

Dead signs DO wear plaid. Haw, haw, haw!

Unscrambling the letters almost reveals that this was once the Horseshoe Casino sign.

I'm pretty sure this is from the defunct Dead Leprechaun Casino.

You could still use these if you opened a place called Horn Pa In.

Does the chef's hat indicate that the Colonel actually got up from his white wicker chair for once and made a batch of chicken?

That's one thing you don't see a lot of.. Alpine Hobos.

Snuh.

I must admit that I take great joy in the fact that the stupid fools at the Treasure Island resort and casino decided to downplay the whole "pirate thing" in favor of a more sexed-up image mere months before the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie created a national swashbuckling craze. Pictured above is the skull that used to adorn their once-cool sign. They even changed the name from Treasure Island to the more sultry TI and they swapped the hourly pirate ship stunt show for the insulting Sirens of TI festival of bad innuendos (well, that's what I call it). I hope some group of marketing wizards lost their jobs.

I hope you enjoyed the photos. This post was brought to you in part by the letter...